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Karl Urban, a.k.a. Batman?

This is sort of a follow up to “The Future Of The Bat”. In that article, I mentioned possible directions that the Batman saga could go in. In “The Dark Knight Rises”, Bruce Wayne fakes his death, moves to Italy with Selina Kyle, turns Wayne Manor into a Boys’ Home, puts Alfred in charge of it and gives the Batcave to now-retired GCPD detective Jonathan Robin Blake. If I was in charge, I’d leave it there, hand it to Blake, show that he doesn’t have what it takes, and bring back Bale.  However, Warner Bros. is looking at all their options.

As I reported in “The Future Of The Bat”, Warner Bros. was looking at Arnie Hammer. You may know him from his titular role in the upcoming “The Lone Ranger”, or his titular role in “Billy Graham: The Early Years”, but it appears as if that was simply a rumor. Logically, Warner would want to scope their options to more bankable names. This may sound crazy, but what about Karl Urban?

Back in October, Unleash The Fanboy did an article in which they made a decent argument as to why Karl Urban should be the next one to don the cape and cowl, should WB choose that route. They took three of his action-based roles and used them to base this argument. Here are their examples:

1) The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers and The Return of The King– Eomer. In the latter two installments of the LOTR trilogy, Karl Urban played Eomer, the leader of the elite Riders of Rohan, a cavalry-based praetorian guard, answering only to its king. Not only was he a bad ass warrior, he was a rough and edgy leader. Batman needs to be all of the above. He was a great counter to Aragorn, much like Batman is a great counter to Gordon. These two alone have him using more martial arts than Bale used in Equilibrium.

 

2) –The Bourne Supremacy Kirill. In the second Bourne movie, the CIA program “Treadstone” sends their second best to hunt down Bourne- a man known only as Kirill. He’s brutal, he’s relentless, he doesn’t stop and he comes damned close to kicking Bourne’s ass a couple of times. He’s why it’s my favorite of the three movies. Like Batman, he doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants, he’ll beat you to a pulp if that’s what it takes, and he doesn’t care who you are. He hardly talks, and it takes the best to take him out. Less martial arts, but he makes up for it.

 

3) Dredd– Judge Dredd. Sadly, this one didn’t this one didn’t take off in the US, but I’ll get to that later. This one has more of the same- dark, brutal, bad ass, utterly relentless. Brooding dialogue, judgmental behavior, and a partner. Warner Bros. tried adding side-kicks into the mix in Batman Forever and Batman and Robin, and it took a decade for Chris O’Donnell to get his career back. Dredd deals with a solitary figure trying to train a rookie, ultimately learning compassion once he has to rely on her to save his ass. Warner Bros. may have learned their mistake with the Burton series of Batman films, but if they decide to take on Robin in the near future, this gives Urban an added bonus.

 

You may have noticed a pattern here. I know I did. The first two examples made a butt-ton in the box office, but they were bankable properties even without Urban. The last one simply wasn’t, by no fault of its own. While huge in the UK, 2000 AD is largely unknown to American audiences. Because of this, most viewers passed it off as a remake of the Stallone adaptation. It was a poor adaptation, and a bad movie. Keep in mind- this is early nineties Stallone, so the bar’s not that high to start with. It was that bad.

Urban may have added some credibility to a great movie, but not enough. This leads me to conclude that he’s a bankable name in conjunction with a bankable property. Here are two examples to illustrate this, in order of release:

 

1) Pathfinder– Ghost. Pathfinder is a medieval action film telling the story of a Norse boy raised by Native Americans, only to help defend the Natives against a Viking invasion. It had Moon Bloodgood and Russell Means, as the chief and his daughter. Russell is ALWAYS playing a Native in some form, and Moon has finally gotten away from it with Terminator: Salvation and Falling Skies (in both cases, she falls for the bearded and badass leader). It had two Native actors, so why didn’t it take off? Well, the premise of Indians vs. Vikings just isn’t a good sell. Karl Urban? Yeah, still not a good sell.

 

2) Star Trek– Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy. Yeah, this one was gonna break the bank even without names like “J.J. Abrams”, “Orci and Kurtzman”, “Zachary Quinto”, “Simon Pegg,” “Anton Yelchin”, “Eric Bana”, the list goes on. Compare this to Pathfinder and you should see my point.

In short, Karl Urban is a decent actor with more than enough action under his belt. He’s just as qualified for the role as Val Kilmer was, and it pains me to admit how much Batman Forever sucked. As we’ve noticed by now, success requires talent on both sides of the role. Val Kilmer made a decent Batman and a dogshit Bruce Wayne. George Clooney made a kick ass Bruce Wayne and a humiliating Batman. Batfans like me are used to disappointment, and Urban might actually do a better job than Billy Graham. I still doubt that Warner Bros. might go that route, but you never know. You can find the original UTF article here:

http://www.unleashthefanboy.com/movies/casting-call-karl-urban-as-batman/30331?utm

Keep it classy Junkies.

Geek Pride Game of the Year 2012

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GP GOTY

Now that the drunken post New Year’s Eve haze is finally beginning to lift and the broken ornaments from that rendition of auld lang syne have been super glued together, it’s almost time to announce Geek Pride’s Game of the Year 2012! Let’s face it; the competition this year has been absolutely huge. From AAA titles and indie games, sequels, reboots and even a piece of brand new innovation here and there, 2012 truly had it all, and to pick just one title was extremely difficult indeed.

Firstly, what criteria to use when choosing? Should it be based on innovative gameplay? Or is it game’s theme and style that’s more important; the story and the message that it carries? Or is it all about the looks? Should it be based on a game’s technical merits? For each of these examples I can think of plenty of games this year that excel in that area. But when there’s been so much diversity this year, and everyone has a different opinion on what makes a great game, on what basis do you make the final decision?

For me, above all else, gaming is about fun and escapism. Pure and simple. Just being able to sit down with your favourite game for a while, fall into another world and just enjoy yourself. Whether you get that enjoyment from the thrill of overcoming great challenges in Dark Souls, or the emotion in experiencing wonderful storytelling in The Walking Dead, or any other way; to me, gaming is first and foremost about enjoyment.

And so on that note, there’s only one game this year that, despite the artistry of Journey or the stunning beauty of Far Cry 3, has kept me coming back all year long. A game that I have found enjoyable, funny, entertaining, and even after 3 or 4 playthroughs, it has still never left me feeling bored.

My Game of the Year for 2012 is Borderlands 2.

borderlands_2

 

My lifestyle means I rarely have time to play a game through more than once. After all, my backlog’s bad enough already without playing through the same thing twice. So once I complete a game I generally put it on the shelf, but with Borderlands 2 there was something about its crazy, nonsense, messed up world that simply dragged me back in, again and again and again. It’s setting, the wonderfully varied world of Pandora, is almost a character in its own right. Arid dustbowls, futuristic glass walled cities, underground caverns, volcanoes, frozen Viking ships, glaciers; Pandora has it all, with plenty of hidden places and dirty secrets for those who are willing to find them.

As for the people that inhabit this world, well, where to begin on this game’s sense of humour? The level of care and effort that has been put into the writing for pretty much every character, big or small is simply astonishing. Everywhere you turn there are pop culture references to be found, or badassness and exploderyness (yes, they are words) to participate in. Every character has their own deliciously different brand of insanity stamped to them. It makes each character so unique and enjoyable to speak to; I certainly have my favourites, as does everyone else. Almost every line said is quote-worthy, and some of the quests that you embark upon are nothing I’ve ever seen in a game before, with some truly memorable ones such as “Shoot This Guy in the Face”, given by (it could only be) “Face McShooty”.

The gameplay again just makes this game so easy to love. It’s built around flexibility, meaning If I wanted to, I could sit down and explore for a while on my own, then let my girlfriend drop in and do some quests with her, all before joining a friend’s game and re-speccing to take on some high end raid bosses. And that brings me on to my next point. The equipment.

You think you’ve played shooters before. You think you’ve fired a shotgun. Have you ever had a shotgun with a bayonet that shoots lightning? How about a talking sniper rifle that guilt trips and berates you every time you kill someone? Ever owned a shield that actually explodes over and over again while it is depleted? I could go on at length about all the wondrous weapons in this game, but in reality that’s a fraction of the weapons that I found, and we would be here all night. Suffice it to say, Borderlands loves its guns.

The setting, characters, weapons, it’s sense of humor  the beautiful cell-shaded graphics, the game’s whole theme of in-your-face ridiculousness and badassitude (yes, it’s another real word), all of it blends together perfectly to create a game I have played and enjoyed for well over 100 hours now, and still going strong. Even my girlfriend, who never usually plays games, has joined me for hours on end, gallivanting across desert wastelands, shooting midgets and pirates with glee.

 

My shelves are buckling with my backlog of games. Far Cry 3, Halo 4 and more are calling to me, but I can’t help myself. Give me Salvador, give me Torgue and give me Claptrap. Just give me Pandora!

Borderlands-2

 

 

 

Think Borderlands 2 deserves it? Think Farming Simulator 2012 was more deserving? Let us know your Game of the Year!

XX – Cracking the Code

The future of Marvel, according to this image that’s been passed around the geekier parts of the internet like a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in a convent, is XX.

See?  It's true!
See? It’s true!

I figured Marvel must have released more than just the image, so I used my Google-Fu to find… nothing.  This is all Marvel have to say on the subject, at least for now.  Well, this and the tagline ‘April 2013’.  Whilst this is good for building up anticipation of their new project, it does prove that there is truth in the saying ‘a little knowledge is a dangerous thing’, as my mind has run amok with ideas…

 

The X-Women

What Happens?  Sick of the boys always telling them what to do, a bunch of female mutants led by Emma Frost go on adventures and dates, all whilst trying not to ruin their nails!  Oh, and the title’s actually pronounced ‘Kiss Kiss’!

Seriously Though.  A group of ass-kicking superheroines team up to fight injustice, crime and giant robots!  Basically Marvel’s Birds of Prey.

Prove It!  What’s to prove?  XX is the female chromosome, and you can’t have the letter X in Marvel comics unless mutants are involved.  It’s like, the Holy Word of Stan Lee or something.

How Likely?  Surprisingly likely, considering I originally thought this up as a joke answer.  Marvel are pretty good about having strong female characters playing a big part in major events, what with the core line-up of the recently-ended X-Men comic being 80% female- although it seems unlikely that they’d start making this big a deal about a girl-centric comic now.

 

20 X-Men

What Happens?  20 X-Men, both well-known and obscure, team up for some purpose that isn’t time-travel, dimension-hopping, black ops, running a school, or running a detective agency, as they’re all covered in other X-titles.  Smart money is on Longshot, Dazzler and of course Wolverine, putting together a street dance team to beat the rival Summers Steppers in an epic dance-off!

Seriously Though.  Well, there’s been a lot of new mutants popping up due to the phoenix force being all… phoenixy… so my guess is it’ll follow 20 of these confused teens, who will stick together, but possibly not align themselves with either the Brotherhood or the Jean Grey School.  Like NYX, but with more characters.

Prove It!  XX is 20 in Roman numerals.  It could also follow just 10 characters, and the title meant to read 10-X.  Or X-10.

How Likely?  The premise seems reasonable, but a cast size that big is the whole reason why they needed to split the X-franchise into bitesize chunks to begin with.

 

X-23

What Happens?  Another X-series clone is discovered, only she’s a female clone of Deadpool!  What follows is a screwball buddy comedy in which X-23 tries to keep X-D under control, and X-D tries to get X-23 to lighten up!  Wacky!

Seriously Though.  Given Marvel’s fondness for replacing deceased characters with the-same-but-different versions (AoA Nightcrawler, Jean Grey from the past, Doc Ock in Spider-Man’s body) it’s completely possible that X-23 bites it in Avengers Arena, and a newly-discovered X-20 takes her place.

Prove It!  Because as we’ve established, XX = 20, XX = female, X = mutant…

How Likely?  Honestly, not very.  Aside from the fact that I clearly and obviously clutched at straws and leapt over the abyss of logic to get to this conclusion, there is one key piece of evidence which disproves this:  Marjorie Liu isn’t writing it.  And as we all know, only Marjorie Liu is allowed to write X-23.

 

Weapon XX

What Happens?  The big bads of the Marvel universe decide to build a modified clone of Vin Diesel.  But something goes horribly wrong, and the resulting monster… is only two-thirds the size!  Get it?  Because ten years ago Vin Diesel was in a movie called XXX!  I’m fucking hilarious.

Seriously Though.  Just like Weapon XI resulted in Deadpool, Weapon XX will result in either a sassy new character beloved by the masses, or a dangerous adversary.  Considering they’ll have their own title, I’m guessing the former.  And it’ll be a woman.

Prove It!  Weapon X was so-named because it was the tenth experiment, and, as if I still need to repeat this, XX = 20.

How Likely:  Revisiting Weapon X(X) is always good for some instant drama, but maybe Marvel would like to go for something new and different?  Right guys?

 

Marvel Round-Up: 02/01/13

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Marvel's_Iron_Man_3_Prelude_Vol_1_1Prelude to Iron Man 3 #1 of 2

Obviously you’ve all seen the Iron Man 3 trailer and felt all the feels from “Don’t die, Pepper!” to “Holy shitsnacks, is that Iron Patriot?!” If you haven’t -maybe you’ve been trapped in an ice cube since WW2- go YouTube that shit right now, and then get your ass back here.
Marvel have decided to ramp up the excitement factor to ball-busting proportions by releasing a two-parter, explaining a little bit of what happened between The Avengers and Iron Man 3. So naturally I picked it up with an enthusiasm that can only be described as “sofa-bouncing”.
Sadly, though, it was all a bit… meh. There’s a pretty sweet opener with Tony unveiling the new War Machine armour he built especially for Rhodey, but mostly it’s just a retread of the Tony vs. Ten Rings bit from Iron Man 1, but with War Machine replacing Iron Man, and an unnamed military dude replacing J.A.R.V.I.S. It makes an effort to explain where Rhodey was during the events of the Avengers movie (fighting the Ten Rings) and why he didn’t turn up to help against the Chitauri (Tony called him, but he was all the way in Asia) It’s a nice thought, but unnecessary  the audience either didn’t care or didn’t notice that War Machine was missing from the Avengers, or we’ve already come up with our own internal theories to justify his absence. The “to be continued” final page sparks curiosity for the next issue, but not enough to make up for this lackluster installment.

Morbius: The Living Vampire #1

Morbius-The-Living-Vampire-1_C

I am sick to the back teeth (no pun intended) of vampires. It’s not Twilight that’s ruined them for me, so much as all the post-Twilight vampires who are compelled to constantly reference how terrible Twilight is and how much cleverer, better written and more sophisticated they are than the Cullens. So, when Morbius opened with a tongue-in-cheek internal monologue about the perks and downsides of being a vampire, I braced myself for the inevitable snide debunking of the sparkling vampires myth. I was pleasantly shocked to find no such thing, but instead a cute little joke about pesto. Vampires aside, it’s a pretty standard tale of a villain trying to do good in the world, the type that Marvel seems very fond of recently. There’s a lot of potential for inner conflict here -the drive for blood against the will to not kill people- but so far it’s just been mentioned in passing, like a heroin addict declaring that they desperately need their fix, but will get it on Friday when they get paid. Hopefully this will become more of a problem in later issues, and we’ll get to see some fights more interesting than vampire vs. street thug.

 

NewAvengersOmega

New Avengers #1

The last New Avengers followed Luke Cage and his peeps, and whilst I welcome the change of focus (and think Jessica Jones should stay out of the limelight until someone can write her a decent story) I’m a little dubious about focusing the entire series around the Illuminati. The Illuminati, aka the six most intelligent men on the planet, originally formed to guard the infinity gems, and now deal with the big problems in life, like an Ancient Sumerian called Black Swan calmly telling Black Panther that she’s going to destroy the Earth, before killing his three young proteges.
I have some quibbles with the line-up (Captain America as one of the world’s smartest men? Really?) but overall I think this series has potential, so long as it doesn’t have the heroes act out character by being too action-heavy, or get lost in wordy pseudo-science.

 

 

 

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

All-New X-Men #5: Jean Grey decides that the best possible time to absorb memories of her multiple deaths is when she’s assisting in psychic surgery.

Daredevil: End of Days #4: The noir take on the death of Daredevil continues, with a dead Bullseye and a hooker dressed as Elektra. Hilarity ensues! I’m kidding, it doesn’t. It really, really doesn’t.

Iron Man #5: Iron Man gets a new suit with a pretty sinister-looking face, a new AI based on Pepper, and jets off to explore the wonders of space.

Punisher: Nightmare #1: Punisher gets a sidekick. I’ll just leave that to sink in.

Venom #29: Venom and Valkyrie disagree on how to describe their relationship- boyfriend/girlfriend or friends with benefits? Meanwhile I discover that when I’ve beaten certain bad guys multiple times on Marvel Avengers Alliance, they stop impressing when they turn up in the pages of a comic.

Nemi – 7GPPs

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Straight to the point: Nemi is a girl after my own heart; cynical, quirky and fabulously gothic, I had an enjoyable time reading every panel of every comic.

 reated by Lise Myhre is a collection of short comic strips following the life of a girl called Nemi. We watch as each comic shows us a very short insight into her life and the wonderfully whimsical happenings that she endures, whilst also almost desperately trying to find “the one” and failing miserably.

Nemi Dating strip

Each comic strip is an episode in itself, usually three or four panels in length, with bonus whole page strips thrown in to the mix. Each strip I found to be rather funny, most of which can be related to most people’s lives. Some I found to fall down on the humour, but it was still amusing to read, as Nemi’s strong personality shines through each panel.

Nemi Comic strip

The illustrations in the strips are very well designed and reflect the gothic nature of Nemi as everything around her is colourful, whilst her entire wardrobe seems to be black. Within the book, we get to enjoy some bonus illustrations which are beautifully designed and enjoyable to look at.

Nemi

All in all, whilst there is a lot of entertainment drawn from these comics, some do lack the humour that others are full to the brim with. I enjoyed the book very much; it was easy to read, entertaining to look at and I ran through the book within just two hours.

I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys graphic novels and comic books. More information about this series can be found online at http://www.nemicomics.com/ or you can buy her books from any good book store or online retailer.

Puffin to Publish 11 Doctor Who Short Stories for 50th Anniversary

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11 Doctors by Dustin Von Doom
11 Doctors by Dustin Von Doom

As I am sure you are aware this year celebrates 50 glorious years of Doctor Who which has whovians like myself very excited. Penguin publishing are joining in with the celebrations by publishing 11 short stories or e-shorts, each one involving one of the eleven Doctors. The series begins with a story featuring the first Doctor which will be released on the 23rd of January with the final one featuring 11th Doctor released to coincide with the anniversary, the 23rd November 2013.  

Produced in partnership with BBC Worldwide each story will be written by “exciting names” in children’s fiction with the announcement of each author to be published via the Doctor Who Facebook page and Youtube channel on the first Monday of the publication month. The shorts will be available as e-books for £1.99 and published in paperback as a collection for £7.99 on the 23rd of November 2013. 

Juliet Matthews, Publisher, Penguin Children’s, said

[quote]Penguin Children’s has been the proud home of children’s Doctor Who publishing for eight years and to be part of the 50th anniversary is incredibly exciting. We are delighted to have eleven sensational children’s authors involved in the series, all bringing an individual style, imagination and interpretation to their eshort tribute to The Doctor. This is a who’s who of children’s fiction coming together to celebrate the much-loved Doctor Who.[/quote]

Source of picture: Dustin Von Doom Deviant Art

Infographic: Facebook Psychology and Internet Addiction

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Facebook psychology and internet addiction, let’s be honest this probably applies to a number of us. In fact whilst reading this infographic  I was interrupted by a Facebook notification which then led me to be completely distracted. It was about 5  minutes before I recalled what it was I was doing, which was looking for an interesting infographic for you guys.   Needless to say I thought it would be apt to share it with you. Facebook is addictive, here is why mixed in with some interesting statistics.

From: NOWSOURCING

facebook-psychology

SOURCE: NOWSOURCING

“Berlin to me, meant boys” Christopher and His Kind review – 9GPPs

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Straight to the point: This film merges homo erotica with the political machinations of the Nazi’s, creating a beautiful juxtaposition between the both sides; a film worth watching, a film worth promoting until your voice is hoarse.

“Christopher and His Kind”, made in 2011 for the BBC, was based on the 1976 memoirs of Christopher Isherwood. This was a film I stumbled across whilst searching for other works by Matt Smith during my Doctor Who obsession. The film is based in Berlin in the 1930s where Matt Smith plays a young man called Christopher Isherwood; an upper class Englishman, who, with an awkward poise and an innocence not quite protected by the English countryside, sets off, bright eyed into the world. His destination; Berlin.

Enter Wysten Auden (played by Pip Carter); Christopher’s monotone friend who lives in Berlin and is the reason for Christopher’s trip. A fellow Englishman, the polarising opposite of Christopher. A cynic, a realist, a poet with a depressive state of mind. We see Wysten introduce Christopher to the one thing he wanted; the boys.
From here on in we are treated to a wonderful escapade of whimsy, innuendos and a flourish of “darling’s” and “dear boy’s”. We watch how Christopher becomes involved with the raunchy, seedy underbelly of the Berlin prostitute business, something which Wysten is a veteran to.

However all is not as magical as it would seem. Tangled in with the sexcapades are the undertones of the political change that is going on within the country; a danger, an ever growing fear, the Nazi rise. Just half an hour into the film we start to see the infiltration of the Nazi’s in the film, just like they almost infiltrated the world; slow to begin with, a few swastika’s here and there planted delicately within the storyline, but then powering through with the force of nothing seen before. We watch as Berlin starts to crumble around Christopher, not only the country, but those he met and held dear. The symbolism is strong with this one.

Not even the most politically charged of films can be without a love story. Enter Heinz; a soft, caring young man, a simple street cleaner with a quiet gait about him. He shows us that love does in fact exist, even in the most horrid of times, but then it can be lost; lost amongst the rubble of politics and paperwork, gone forever. However, Heinz also helps to serve a higher purpose than just a love story; he shows us how families can be destroyed and have been destroyed in those turbulent times.

In the end, Christopher eventually moves to America, but takes a visit, once all the chaos has ceased, back to Berlin to visit those he cared for so much. The film ends by Fraulein Thurau handing Christopher the clock which once sat in his room; the only thing to survive the war, and the one thing the film opens with.

This film is a splendid example of how even in the worst of times, we can try and find the best of times. The juxtaposition of sexually repressed, ‘stiff upper lip’ England and the sexually prominent, ever changing Berlin is both wonderfully eye opening and brilliantly done. The film immersed me in the culture and events going on at that time, but also, the film was not afraid to take a firm grasp on those subjects which some may find taboo and make them into a thought provoking cascade of emotionally charged wonder.

I would definitely recommend this film to anyone who is looking for something ever so different to the boring “oh-my-god-not-another-one” type of wash being spewed into the cinemas today. Amongst the nudity, raunchy homosexual conquests and a strong lead character, played by a strong lead actor, someone will find something that will light up that dusty bulb in their head and make them think, make them smile, make them laugh, and never forget about Christopher and His Kind.

Dust and Sand – Chapter 26 – By Sean P. Wallace

Chapter 26

In the flesh of the earth, someone was singing.

“While I draw this… fleeting breath, when mine eyes shall… close in death, when I soar to… worlds unknown… see Thee on Thy… Judgement Throne.”

Penelope Chalmers’ voice barely echoed in her cell. As the last note lingered, her teeth chattered to create an unwitting staccato effect. She closed her eyes, lowered her voice, and whispered “Rock of Ages… cleft for me…”

There was no response, no space for hiding. The demons whispered still.

“You need to give in.”

“Your rescuers have been taken hostage.”

“Look, here he comes.”

“The ‘man’ sent to save you.”

The demons had begun to soften. They sounded almost… empathetic now. Or maybe their horrible words were working, drilling deep into her mind. Either way, this break in the torture that had her singing for hours was incongruous enough that she decided to see this rescuer.

Penelope stood. It took some time. The cold had settled so deep into her bones that she imagined it had become integral, that her frame would melt if she ever thawed. Her muscles barely responded, filled with ice crystals as they must be, and her constant shivering made every movement uncertain. She had to slide up the constantly-spewing wall to right herself. The river of foul yellow mucus splashed across her clothes but that didn’t seem so important now; she could not get any more filthy.

This miracle achieved, the demons said “Close your eyes.”

“This light is coming.”

“We don’t want you to be blind.”

“We want you to see him.”

Penelope did as directed but only to avoid unnecessary pain. As it was, the bright flare made burning spheres of her eyes and tore into her lids. She tried to scream but it was a mere croak; her voice was still hoarse from Mahrey’s last visit.

Thinking of Mahrey made her whole body shake uncontrollably. Such episodes had become more and more common since… recently. Penelope worried she was close to earning a nervous condition. Not that she could do anything about it.

“Pass me not, O gentle Saviour,” Penelope sang to try and calm herself, her only defence against her trials. Her voice had aged over the past few days; she was sounding more and more like her Grandma. “Hear my humble cry. While on others Thou are calling… do not pass me by.”

This time, someone was listening; her fear subsided almost immediately and so did the shakes.

“Come on,” said the demons.

“He’s nearly here.”

“You need to see him.”

Penelope opened her eyes and, after some initial fuzziness, saw her cell in the approaching brightness. Only the shameful corner of her room had changed; it was now a shameful quarter. She would soon have to curl up into the opposite corner to sleep. She then took the opportunity to examine herself; her hands were stretched skin over vicious bone and her clothes had descended into an off-brown. Her leather boots were splashed with grime. If she could see herself now, she imagined she’d see an emaciated ghost, a haunted and wasted being.

Her light was coming from a grate in her door at about eye height. It had not opened while Penelope was awake, she’d never even seen its outline, and yet somehow it was open now.

Penelope pushed herself along the wall until she reached the door. Clasping the smooth metal grate, she looked out into the corridor; it was a subterranean passage, something too deliberate to have been dug by the Lord’s grace, with blazing torches stationed at twenty metre intervals. It was bright enough to see a good distance down either way, which made her wonder what ingenious method the demons had used to prevent this light entering her cell before.

As an act of defiance, she slipped her fingers through the grate. The corridor was much warmer than her cell, almost boiling by comparison, and her fingertips greedily ate up the heat. Just this brief act brought tears to her eyes. She wiped them away with warm flesh.

On This Day in History- 3 January 1892

File:Tolkien 1916.jpgGiven the recent release of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, or The Hobbit Part 1 as I like to think of it, it’s fitting that today marks the 121st birthday of none other than fantasy giant John Ronald Reuel, or J.R.R., Tolkien. While he did not invent the genre of fantasy, one could argue that it dates back to the mythologies of pagan civilizations, he is most noted for a significant resurgence of the genre. He based his works on his own knowledge, his own beliefs, and his own experiences. The most autobiographical of them all was a trunk novel that didn’t see the light of day until after he died. His work has impacted all of us, myself included.

Born in what is now South Africa, he would move to England with his mother and younger brother shortly after his father died of a local fever (it is Africa, after all). Able to read at the age of four, already showing a love of language as well as nature, he went from school to school until his mother was accepted into the Roman Catholic Church in 1900, to the disdain of her Baptist family. She gave custody of her children to Friar Francis Xavier Morgan, shortly before succumbing to diabetes. This would combine with his love of fantasy stories in a way no one anticipated.

While he and his brother were brought up to be good Catholics, John steeped himself in religions and constructed languages. We’re familiar with some of them, such as Gene Roddenberry’s Klingon, but equally famous would be an invention of Tolkien’s. This happened when he encountered Animalic in his early teens, an invention of two cousins of his, while he was studying Anglo-Saxon and Latin. In 1911, he and three friends created a secret society that would result in Tolkien’s love for writing poetry (this is reflected in Elvish verse). Two years later, he formally engaged Edith Mary Bratt, though he would not marry her until he returned from the World War.

When the British Empire entered war with the Axis Powers in 1914, John shocked his relatives by delaying enlistment until he finalized his degree July of 1915, at which time he was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in an infantry regiment. The following year, he transferred to an expeditionary unit, deploying to France in June of 1916. He wrote to his fiancee constantly, developing a code to get around the postal censorship. In doing so, he gave Edith a map of his movements throughout the Western Front.

It was in that October that John contracted Trench Fever. He was bounced around between hospitals a garrison duties, deemed unfit for general labor, while many of his dearest friends were killed one by one. He himself would have died, had he not been removed from combat due to multiple cases of trench foot (a deforming fungus that thrives in cold and mud), taking its toll in the form of depression.

With the war finally over, he turned to writing professionally. He started as a dictionary etymologist , specializing in Germanic. He steadily worked his way up, writing The Hobbit, The Fellowship of The Ring and The Two Towers during his fellowship at Pembroke College. Later, during the Second World War, his specialty in linguistics paid off when he was earmarked as a codebreaker, though this same period was critical for a dear friend of his from college.

While Tolkien was attending school in Oxford, he met a young scholar named Clive Staples, or C.S., Lewis. When they met, Lewis had chosen Atheism over Christianity. It was Tolkien that successfully took Lewis back to Christ, which reflected in Lewis’ Narnia books. While teaching, the two belonged to a drinking group of fantasy writers calling themselves “The Inklings”. When “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe” was published, Lewis was criticized by Lewis for his blatantly Christian allegory (the similarities between Aslan and Christ are obvious to a child), although he was known for using his own. The wizard Gandalf is my favorite example: when we first see him in The Hobbit, and again in The Fellowship of The Ring, he is described with a tall grey hat, long grey robes, a long white beard and a yew wood staff. This same description is used for the Norse God Odin, specifically for his Wanderer aspect. After he’s resurrected in “The Two Towers”, he is described with no hat, a and a white robe. This description has more in common with Christ (savior figure, miracles, resurrection). While Aslan starts as Jesus, Gandalf starts as Odin to become Jesus. This is less of a metaphor for Christianity, and more of a metaphor for the evangelizing of Europe.

Tolkien would ultimately retire in 1956, with increasing acclaim until he ultimately died in 1971. After he died, his son Christopher found a trunk novel. Trunk novels are kind of like bastard children, in that they’re only recognized in times of necessity and desperation, or with no approval whatsoever. This trunk novel depicted a war that was only mentioned in the other books. The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings books were all affected by the Battle for Mount Doom, as well as the events leading up to it. This trunk novel is the depiction of these events. Yes, it was The Silmarrillion. It was after this that Christopher took over his world, expanding the literature of Middle-Earth (a name that comes from the term midgard, the Nordic concept of Earth along the cosmological world tree Yggdrasil).  I personally don’t know what role Christopher played in the films, if he played one at all, but I can tell you that John is revered to the point of being, quite literally, a God among Men.

While some are more devout fans than others, and some may totally dislike fantasy, but we all can acknowledge the power that J.R.R. Tolkien has had on Western society, in his life and his writings. In my life alone, he helped me to see the beauty in medieval warfare and cultures, diverse mythologies and epic battles, poetic languages and embracing destiny. The Lord of the Rings taught me, a young boy on the losing end of a battle with bullying that left me with neither friends nor self-worth, that even the most insignificant Hobbit can change the world for the better. It taught me that you don’t have to be a runaway prince, or legendary wizard, or gifted archer to impact the world. It may have been a mere fairy tale, but to millions it was a tale of seeing ones place in the world. Happy 121st birthday, John Tolkien, for so long as your work impacts the lives of men and women of all ages, you will never truly die. Never forget that, geeks.