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The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

The-Mortal-Instruments-City-of-Bones-bannerA while back someone recommended the Mortal Instruments book series to me and, after determining it’s basically your run of the mill young adult fantasy book, I read it. I actually liked it a lot more than I expected and the prospect of a movie had me excited about seeing the characters I ended up loving,  come to life on the big screen. Then I went to see the movie and all that excitement deflated like a balloon. After months of anticipation (with way too many trailers and bits of the movies released until its due date for it to be healthy) I finally bought my ticket, happily telling two of my more skeptical friends that they will love it. Funny enough, they actually ended up liking it more than I did.

Here’s what’s wrong with this movie, at least in my humble view: it tries to do too much with too little time, cutting out important parts of the story that are more or less the foundation of it; the little bits and pieces that bring some form of logic to the tale. At least on paper. Maybe the editor or the screenplay writer wasn’t aware that (shockingly, I know) not just the book fans would watch the movie. Too many details were missing, making it nothing but the tale of a girl that likes a boy that’s liked by another boy that’s liked by a warlock and so on. If that last sentence made no sense, don’t worry, the situation makes less sense in the movie. Why? Because somehow the director, the writer, the producers and maybe even the actors, forgot that in order to have a believable story, particularly one that delves in a world of demons, werewolves and vampires, you need to build it up. You need to show me, and the other viewers, why A+B=C, without me having to pull out the book out of my pocket to try and make sense of what’s going on and why.

Here’s the basics: Clary Fray (Lilly Collins) starts drawing a random pattern over and over again. Her mother (Lena Headey) wants to protect her from whatever it is that’s hiding in her mind, but fails to do that when she’s attacked by demons and two old enemies, sent in by her husband, Valentine Morgenster (Johnathan Rhys Meyers). He’s after an important thing she stole from him years ago, one of The Mortal Instruments- the Mortal Cup. Girl meets boy -Jace Wayland, played by Jamie Campbell Bower- and in five seconds flat falls for him and vice versa. She also discovers she’s not quite human and has to journey through the murky secrets of the past to figure out how to deal with this revelation.  So far so good, except everything is set up awkwardly, the actors that form a stellar cast are severely underused, making important characters in the books look like nothing more than extras on screen and the story is chopped up into little bits, thrown into the air and pieced together in a completely arbitrary fashion, making for a whole new different story.bdfjzrzcuaikftw

Aidan Turner, who plays a scruffy werewolf in this story (yes, I did snicker at that a bit) is barely in the film, Kevin Zegers, playing Alec Lightwood, yet another important character, is demoted to eye candy and nothing more, making him seem like a jealous individual with no redeeming qualities, despite the fact that he has them. I promise you that. Those five seconds of him trying to save Clary pale by comparison to him being an ass throughout the film to a girl that has just lost her mother to the greatest villain of the Nephilim world. And don’t even get me started on Valentine Morgenstern, who is here nothing more than a hopped-up-on-power lunatic, while in the book he was a charismatic and suave manipulative bastard.

My problem with this film isn’t necessarily that they didn’t follow the book to the letter, I know that’s impossible and more often than not an actual hindrance to the story, however, there’s a difference between adapting a story to make a film and completely Percy Jacksoning it for the big screen. Through the plot holes that were so wide that the Titanic could’ve easily sailed through them, they’ve set themselves up for a major retconning sessions in later movies.

Which, incidentally, might never happen, since supposedly the filming, which was scheduled to start next week, was indefinitely postponed due to the movie faring rather badly on the box-office. Again, I think that everyone forgot or ignored that all it takes today is for someone to make a tiny post about how bad a movie is, for it to become viral. They also forgot that the Mortal Instruments has not only the tame fans that gritted their teeth through two hours of book butchering, but also the type of fans that would take to Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr and present their vitriolic opinion on seeing their beloved book reduced to a simple love story. Surprisingly, while the love story is a focal point of the books as well, if it’s removed, there is still a decent plot. city-of-bones-image06Again, on paper. Take love out of the equation in the film and not much is left, because this was the Campbell Bower/Collins show. It wasn’t so much an adaptation as a different story, whose characters happened to have the same names and a somewhat similar plot device. Like London with Zeppelins and Rose as a puppy.

All in all, the movie is watchable and entertaining, if you’ve never read the books and if you would rather google things when you get home to figure them out, instead of seeing them neatly presented on screen. But again, watchable. The effects are not bad, though the demons made me laugh a little, since in my mind they looked completely different; the soundtrack is lovely and the acting is decent (too bad we see so little of it, since they were too busy throwing us off with neat special effects and confusing storytelling).  The rest of it though drags it down severely, making it one of the many (because I’m sure many more will follow) book adaptations that will not find the same success as the Hunger Games. Funny enough, THG was also made for those that had read the books, more so than for the rest, but it managed to explain everything much better, without throwing random information at you,  letting you puzzle over where exactly it’s supposed to go.

Ultimately it’s a matter of taste. I didn’t like it from a reader’s perspective, but I’m sure others have positively gushed over seeing the characters on screen. If you liked it, by all means, tell me why, I might have a change of heart. If you didn’t, let’s eviscerate it together. It’s what the comment section is for.

Mortal Kombat: Legacy, Season 2- FIGHT!

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mortal-kombat-legacy-season-2-coming-in-mid-2013

Mortal Kombat: Legacy -the web series that spun out from Kevin Tancharoen’s short film Mortal Kombat: Rebirth- is set for a second season, and after a long wait it’s almost here. Legacy, like Rebirth, portrays the beloved characters in a more ‘realistic’ way, and this coming season will continue to build on what came before.  

The first season was set before the upcoming tenth Mortal Kombat tournament, with episodes being non-linear and focusing on different characters and their backgrounds. The second season will focus on the tournament and introduce several new characters, alongside fan favourites such as Sub-Zero and Scorpion . It will also feature Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa returning to the role of sorcerer Shang Tsung, a character he portrayed in the 1995 film.

Mortal Kombat Legacy Season 2 will be premiering via Machinima on September 26.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46l9Zc7DBxE&feature=youtu.be

Killzone: Mercenary Review – 7 GPPs

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It’s hard to remember a time when platform exclusives were more important than they are now. Whilst the next generation of consoles will battle it out with very little different between them, portable consoles are feeling growing pressure from the mobile space. Once the subject of ridicule aside from the occasional game of Snake on the bus, mobile gaming has taken off in a huge way and today’s smartphones can offer Vita-standard games at a small fraction of the price.

Killzone: Mercenary is this year’s biggest exclusive Vita offering from Sony, promising a sleek big budget PS3 franchise shooter experience that can be played anywhere. Set just after the events of the original Killzone, players assume the role of Arran Danner, a typical gun-for-hire fighting against the Helghast forces for the ISA. What starts as simple clear and rescue mission quickly turns to carnage, leaving Danner at the centre of a battle for control of a chemical weapon.

Some of Killzone: Mercanary's scenery is stunning and puts many PS3 and 360 shooters to shame.
Some of Killzone: Mercanary’s scenery is stunning and puts many PS3 and 360 shooters to shame.

The first and most obvious aspect of this game is that it looks absolutely stunning. As Sony’s flagship shooter, Killzone has often been used to show off their tech but this is definitely the most visually impressive Vita title to date. The lighting is gorgeous, the environments are drawn with intricate detail and the weapons and enemy soldiers look as life like and deadly as their PS3 counterparts.

Somehow the audio design manages to be even more incredible than the graphics. Guns and grenades sound as realistic as you are going to want them to be and the trademark South London drawl of the Helghan soldiers can be heard discussing the games events or calling for a search of the area. All of this combined adds a layer of intensity not often seen on a handheld game and coupled with some great enemy AI can some genuinely nail biting moments.

Ranged weapon attacks will either kill or maim the enemy and the latter can result  in a cry of pain and whimpering as you are begged to finish the job and put the unfortunate soul out of their misery. I actually even felt slightly emotional at one point when a wounded Helghan trooper lay on the floor clutching his leg and sobbed “I was just doing my job”.

As a freelance Merc, the emphasis of the story is on contracts and this remains throughout both the single player and multiplayer campaigns. Injuring or killing enemies will earn credits which are then exchanged for new weapons, armour or special abilities. Any purchases made in the single player mode will carry over to multiplayer and vice-versa but buying new items will require careful thought since taking down some of the larger enemies can be extremely difficult without the right gear.

The weapon selection is large enough to add to the replay value and some of the guns available at the later stages add an unexpected layer of fun and creativity such as the shotgun which ignites an unsuspecting target in a spontaneous burst of flames.

Additional credits can be earned for interrogating certain enemy soldiers or completing Bioshock-style hacking puzzles to hijack systems or steal intelligence. Unfortunately it is here that the cracks really start to show as these puzzles are inconsistent in difficulty and many are so frustrating that they are likely to appeal to only the purest of trophy hunters. To interrogate requires stealth, something which the game actively encourages, but at the same time the stealth mechanics do not really seem up to standard and most attempts at a sneak attack will be met with a last minute about turn and quickly proceeding hail of bullets to the face.

Touchscreen swipe controls are well used for interrogation, stealth attack and countering
Touchscreen swipe controls are well used for interrogation, stealth attack and countering

The review version which we received also seemed to contain an above average number of bugs and glitches, most notably related to the AI and collision, and this was after installing a 1.1GB patch which Sony deployed shortly before the game’s official release. Many of the boss battles also felt more cheap than they did challenging and one in particular involved a seemingly weak enemy who for some unexplained reason was able to largely repel gunfire off a two piece suit.

Without a doubt though, Mercenary’s biggest problem is the single player save system. For whatever reason the game does not allow saves to be continued mid-level.  The game’s development team have since made it clear that this was a design choice but there is no doubt that it was a horrendously bad one and is made worse by there are no warnings about this at any time throughout the 5-6 hour campaign.

There are frequent checkpoints throughout the single player missions but these can only be used during a single session and exiting a level will cause all progress on that level to be lost. Having your arse handed to you by an unfair boss fight and fancy relaxing with the multiplayer for a while? Well you can’t really because that will undo your last half an hour of progress so your choices are to either play through the whole mission again or just to switch the console off.

This is a real missed opportunity as the multiplayer is about as good as a portable online shooter could be. The standard three modes of free for all, team deathmatch and capture the flag are there and lend themselves perfectly to the Vita’s tight twin stick controls. The multiplayer maps are all reused levels from the main campaign but most lend themselves well to a multiplayer battle and the game seem to comfortably support up to 8 concurrent players without any noticable performance hit.

As seen in the recent open beta, this is easily the best multiplayer FPS experience on the Vita to date
As seen in the recent open beta, this is easily the best multiplayer FPS experience on the Vita to date

The only one issue with the multiplayer mode is that during testing we were occasionally respawned next to an enemy soldier which obviously resulted in instant death. This only happened on a couple of occasions though and could likely be easily patched later on to avoid exploits and griefing.

Sadly Killzone Mercanary is unlikely to be the handheld shooter that starts rapidly shifting Vitas from store shelves. Sony’s best opportunity for that so far was missed with  last year’s epic clusterfuck Call of Duty Black Ops Declassified and whilst the Killzone name is popular with the hardcore, it doesn’t really have the mass appeal to start pulling in the big numbers at retail.

This is a game which manages to do so much right and yet so much wrong at the same time. It doesn’t overly force touch screen or motion controls, looks phenomenal and manages to successfully port a full blown current gen action experience to the small screen. It’s just a shame that a small number of technical issues and poor design choices let down what could have been one of the best handheld games of the year.

There is still no denying however that Guerilla Cambridge have created the most progressive handheld console shooter since Metroid Prime: Hunters on the DS and arguably the best big budget Vita exclusive since Uncharted: Golden Abyss. In spite of it’s failings, Killzone: Mercanary manages to set a new benchmark for the genre which others will now need to follow and proves outright that there are still some handheld gaming experiences that an iPad’s touch screen simply cannot match.

Check out the trailer below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWQerwe-QWs

 

 

Free Film Friday – The Driller Killer

Did you ever watch Goosebumps back in the day? Well if you did try to imagine the creepy voice that welcomed you to the show as you read the next line. Ready?

Welcome to Free Film Friday the 13th! Mwahahahaha.

Thank you, it was fun to do that with you. Anyway, yes it is indeed Friday the 13th so I thought it only appropriate that I find a horror film of some kind for your viewing pleasure. I already discussed an influential classic a few weeks ago with Nosferatu, but this time round I thought you might like to enjoy some good old fashioned mindless violence and gore.

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The Driller Killer is one of the most notorious films that ever caused a moral panic in the UK, largely due to that cover. The Advertising Standards Agency received a multitude of complaints that often contained not a single mention of the film itself. Nevertheless, it was successfully repressed as one of the notorious “Video Nasties” alongside many features which are today considered influential classics, such as The Last House on the Left, The Evil Dead and Cannibal Holocaust. 

As it happens a copyright was never obtained for this movie in the United States, and so just as with last week’s feature Death Rides a Horse, this is one of those films that simply slipped into the public domain. How ironic that something which caused such outrage and was suppressed for so long can now be viewed freely without fear of legal reprisal from either copyright or censorship statutes.

When I was a little kid I used to go into the horror section at Blockbusters and be transfixed by the imagery of certain video covers. There was a mystique about looking at movies like that sitting there on the shelves, I knew my parents would never let me watch them, and to be honest I had no real desire to be rebellious on that point. The imagery on the boxes alone was enough to stir up my imagination, and I was quite happy to simply picture what the films themselves would be like.

driller-killer2With that in mind, it was sort of impossible for me to go into this without any preconceived notions. I sat down to watch this movie and I felt a kind of foreboding, not unlike the feeling you may get if you go back to your old school. I watched this knowing that the image on the cover of the video, and all the ghoulish imaginations that it had inspired, have been buried in my subconscious since I was a child. I wondered if the film could live up to all those strange yet oddly fascinating imaginings.

In many ways it actually did. I have a lot to say about people like Mary Whitehouse and institutions like Mediawatch, bodies which were responsible for this film and many others being forbidden fruit for so many years. I have often said that with films they either overreacted to implied violence or failed to see beyond certain gratuities on account of being overly sensitive. But in the case of this movie, I will concede that they may have had a point.

To put it simply, this film is fucked up.

Driller_Killer_Over-the-Shoulder_ShotIt’s a slow burner to start off with, the lead character Reno’s (played by the film’s director Abel Ferrara) descent into madness is gradual. His sanity eroded by money troubles, creative difficulties and a punk rock band living downstairs whose music torments him. When he does snap though, his first kill is sickening to watch. There is something about the drill as an instrument of death, and the way the victim writhes under the force of it, that is so much more graphic and visceral than the usual horror film death scene.

From there his darkness takes off. A killing spree ensues before torment in his personal life finally sends him completely over the edge. This low-budget indie film may be blighted by certain factors like some bad acting and at times lackluster production, but it makes up for it with an engrossing and ever-pervading sense of wrongness that is remarkably hypnotic.

This is not for the faint at heart.

Preview: Days of Future Past

Surely this is a golden age for fans of big heroes on the big screen. Only recently has the SFX technology and budget for superhero films caught up with the larger-than-life storytelling, curtailed only by the writers imagination and the artists skill. Rewind only a few years and the hardcore Marvel fan could force themselves to wince through David Hasselhoff as Nick Fury (1998) or the 1990 Captain America film. Even newer attempts like Daredevil (2003), The Punisher (2004), Elektra (2005), Fantastic Four (2005) and its diabolical sequel have left fans with more to moan about than to celebrate.
The last few years of huge budget blockbuster Marvel films have been a saving grace in comparison to all the previous near-misses but many are still apprehensive about the newest Xmen cinema outing. They needn’t be. It is going to be awesome and this is why.

x-men-days-of-future-past-film

Chris Claremont has written many of the classics of XMen lore. The Wolverine (2013) film was based on one of his tales and gives the hard-nosed, thick-skinned Canadian a little more depth than we are used to seeing. Published in XMen #141 and Uncanny XMen #142, Claremont’s ‘Days of Future Past’ is an epic tale of time-travel. The first part was rated 25th in Marvel fans’ top 100 comics of all time. The story has gained cult status, being referenced and later ripped off in Heroes.

Kate ‘Kitty’ Pryde, now an adult in a dystopian future, must travel back, inhabiting her younger self to warn the XMen of the future that awaits them. The film seems all set to have Wolverine doing the time-travelling but y’know, he’s pretty cool, so I won’t be picketing my local Odeon (interestingly, Bishop took Kitty’s role in the 90’s XMen cartoon series) . In this future (dubbed Earth-811) mutant-hunting Sentinel robots have apprehended or slain many of our favourite Marvel mutants. It is now up to the younger XMen (McAvoy, Fassbender et al.) to prevent the tragedy that sparks worldwide anti-mutant prejudice.

The choice of storyline should be enough to interest the XMen comic fans but will it impress the fans and critics of the previous films? The cast list alone should be enough to impress anyone. The ‘Sirs’ of the franchise, Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen, are fan favourites that ground the cast-list with their impressive acting credentials. Hugh Jackman has made the role of Wolverine his own in much the same way as Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man. James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender gave impressive performances in ‘XMen: First Class’ and many of the cast from the XMen Trilogy and ‘First Class’ have returned.

Halle Berry had previously been quoted as being unhappy with her lack of character development in the XMen Trilogy. She almost refused to return for ‘XMen: The Last Stand’ but has been persuaded to reprise her role. The potential for Storm’s character to develop further was compromised when it was announced that she was pregnant, limiting her involvement. Alan Cumming refused the offer to reprise his role as Nightcrawler, complaining that the extensive make-up sessions were too gruelling.xmen-days-of-future-past-posters1

The majority of actors from the XMen film franchise so far have returned, adding many more mutants to the roster. These include Blink, Warpath, Sunspot, Quicksilver and Havok. The cast list has filled out nicely (almost with Lady Gaga playing Dazzler…it was an April Fools joke) and many worry that there will be too many names to remember and inter-character relationships to establish. This must have occured to the Director,Bryan Singer. He has experience with the XMen films and many of the actors and he is said to have consulted both Chris Claremont about the original text and James Cameron about time-travel, string-theory and multiverses!
With six previous films establishing the characters and their varying traits, those invested in the XMen film legend will no doubt find this an interesting blend of both sets of familiar faces. Singer has clearly looked to develop the ‘First Class’ cast so their characters seem closer to those portrayed in the XMen Trilogy saying that Mystique (played by Jennifer Lawrence) will be closer to herself in ‘X2’.

I would have time to despair for those who are watching ‘Days of Future Past’ as their first XMen experience, as setting up all these characters for first-time viewers seems an impossible feat, but I cannot pity anyone that gets to see Peter Dinklage as Bolivar Trask! Peter Dinklage has risen to fame as Tyrion in the recent TV adaptation of Game of Thrones, widely loved as the Lannister family’s anti-hero. The promotional shots of him in Trask’s trademark moustache and scowl are reminscent of J.Jonah Jameson, Peter Parker’s editor and renowned Spiderman hater. In short, the surprise casting of Dinklage as the cantankerous, mutant-prejudiced Trask was an excellent surprise. Bryan Singer is aware of this, announcing Dinklages involvement long before confirming him as Trask and setting up a Trask Industries website (www.trask-industries.com) to tease fans.

If anyone has seen The Wolverine and left before the mid-credit sequence, they have missed the (SPOILERS) inclusion of a bemused Wolvie staring at a Trask Industries TV ad and the return of the original Magneto and Proffessor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart has assured fans that his demise in ‘The Last Stand’ and apparent revival will be explained).

This has all the makings of an excellent crossover film. I would wait patiently for the release date (23rd May, 2014) but as Wolverine says in the teaser trailer, “Patience isn’t my strong suit”.

Geek Night II Poster

Event Horizon Re-View 9GPPs

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Event Horizon Re-view

Hot damn that's an awesome passageway
Hot damn that’s an awesome passageway. One of the many examples of visual art in Event Horizon

I am sure that the eagle-eyed amongst you will notice that Event Horizon is not a particularly new film, in fact, it’s now a ‘whopping’ 16 years old.  I’m writing a series of reviews of older films for the millennial crowd and anyone who just plain missed these films the first time round, basically telling why you, the audience, should track down the Blu-ray or Netflix releases and give them a good old watch.

When Event Horizon was first released, it was widely panned by critics and did abysmally at the box office. It was a flop; even now, it only manages 22% on Rotten Tomatoes, and under-rates at 6.6 on IMDB. But this review isn’t necessarily for that wider target audience; it is for those who want to watch (in my humble opinion) the best sci-fi horror genre-masher since Alien.

Alien is a good place to start. The problem with being a sci-fi horror film after Alien is that it became incredibly difficult to do a claustrophobic, space-monster story without being either compared to Alien or without completely ripping it off. This was also true of early drafts of the Event Horizon script.  Apparently, Paul W.S. Anderson sent the script back and over the course of filming, spun it into more of a very “British-feeling” (with the attendant grimness, actors and story-appropriate gore that confers) haunted house-in space epic with more than a dash of H.P. Lovecraft and Clive Barker inspiration.

In my view, this film is Paul Anderson’s best work to date, so try not to be put off by all those terrible Resident Evil films.

The backstory to the film is laid out plain and simply by digital text in space, accompanied by an ominous score. The Event Horizon was a ship that vanished near Neptune with all hands, the worst space disaster on record. The year is 2047 (a numerical term in space exploration that means “the point of no return”), and amid the nightmares of troubled scientist Dr. William Weir (Sam Neill), we are introduced to the early space-faring world, similar to how ours might have been had space exploration been pursued.

Upon meeting the irritable crew of the deep-space rescue vessel Lewis and Clark with Dr. Weir, we find out that the Event Horizon was a research vessel with a radical, experimental warp drive, and what’s more, it’s returned, emitting a distress call. Superstitious pilot Smitty, (Sean Pertwee) in particular seems hostile to the mission.

Then comes one of the film’s most memorable moments comes from a cryptic sound file in the distress signal. The score and general sound design, by the way, are brilliant. They accentuate the action without dragging you out of the moment and it doesn’t fade under the audio. The audio of the distress signal still sends chills down my spine every time I hear it; whoever made that is either a certified genius or an authentic wacko.

The visuals of the film hold up well on Blu-ray. Thankfully, CGI is kept to a minimum (in an era when its overuse was commonplace), the spaceships are filmed models and green screens are kept to where there really wasn’t any other option, as a result, the SFX and architecture still stand as superb examples of film art. My favourite set-piece in the film is undoubtedly the core:

The core.
The core. Just look at that thing. Look at it.

The core is reputedly a reference to the Lemarchand box/Lament Configuration from Clive Barker’s Hellraiser. Barker was apparently consulted for several influences on the film, and as such, it’s arguably part of his extended creative universe. It is also better as a film than anything else he’s been involved with.

The lament configuration, so-called because it configures lamentation.
The lament configuration, so called because it configures lamentation.

The core is so plainly evil in an obscure, occult fashion (only accessible through a spinning corridor of magnetic razorblades, naturally), yet it’s relatively inactive. The result is an ominous, permeating dread, and that thing that is so often missing in horror – awe.

Fresh meat for the grinder, eh?
Fresh meat for the grinder, eh?

There are hints from the moment that we set eyes on the ship that it’s evil. It’s designed like a church; a giant gothic cross shape, with many visual elements of the interior “cyber” equivalents of the Notre Dame cathedral.

The film builds its pace and atmosphere expertly with terrifying visions and inexplicable events, horror movie staples, as the Lovecraftian gateway tries to take our heroes to a dimension of pure chaos, barbed wire rape and lunatic evil. As every amateur Lovecraft scholar knows, every cosmic evil needs a cult, and gradually Dr Weir is corrupted through love, guilt and madness to the become the possessed acolyte of the core.

Much like Danny Boyle’s Sunshine – which I also love and is heavily influenced by this film – the film arguably loses a little potency when the antagonist is humanised in the final act. Sunshine, arguably even borrows the antagonist almost wholesale. That said, the homages, scares, disgust and dread run thick right up to the credits. Few characters do anything too contrived or stupid and a lot of the creepiest things in the film are more original than the overwhelming majority of horror out there. It also features one of the most plausibly accurate space decompression sequences on film.

As it is, it is a visually glorious and well told narrative, though its bases are staples to many horror fans. Gateways to Hell, possessions, extreme gore and mutilation, they all appear, but in a profoundly satisfying way. Very few films can manage those elements as well as this film does, and marry them to an authentic-feeling space setting.

The film as it stands has had reams of more gory and hellish material cut from the theatrical and home video versions – around 20 minutes. These sequences were subsequently lost, but were recently found on VHS. There are rumours that they may appear in a future director’s cut. I certainly hope so.

X/Y Starter pokemon evolutions confirmed

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So today the internet decided to inform me of this…

corocoro9139         

My initial though = “NAH! INTERWEBZ IS MESSING WIFF CHA!” So I immediately jumped onto Serebii.net to check out if it was in fact true… And to my horror, yes, the makers of Pokémon have decided to make these three Pokémon the evolutions of the X and Y starter Pokémon. Am I impressed? Hell no! Could they have picked worse designs? Possibly not! Needless to say I will still be getting the game but I think this may be the first time that I don’t play the game through with my starter Pokémon…

So, before you just assume I hate on all none Pokémon of the original 150, I must say I have been overall impressed with some of the new Pokémon designs. Some of which you can see below.

Nyaonikusu                                                                Chigorasu

nyaonikusu     chigorasu

The new Pikachu; Dedenne                               Noivern

dedenne       noivern

And there’s many more than that!

So as I said my general attitude is not “The initial 150 Pokémon are the best or GTFO.” I have stuck through with the trash Pokémon and the ice-cream Pokémon and my personal worst the love heart fish Pokémon… Some of my favourite Pokémon are not of the original 150. I am not just hating for hating’s sake! But I do think that it is important that they at least get one of the first three Pokémon right. You need to connect with at least one because you essentially start your Pokémon adventure with one of these three. Which means you don’t want them to evolve into a nut with a pointy noise, a fox with a stick in its tail and… a thing…

I think what my main problem with these evolutions are, and what really makes me kind of sad, is that some of the fan art on the potential Pokémon evolutions are far more superior to what the artists working on the actual game have come up with.

So with that thought, lets look at what could have been…

It was hard to pick but here are five of my favourite pieces of fan art;

The final evolution of all three starter Pokémon by http://turtle-arts.deviantart.com/

a8a68ee85836ca9ec2e053b6abe85b0e-d5qyjkx

The evolutions of Chespin by http://pashapup.deviantart.com/

chespin_by_pashapup-d65fjom

The evolutions of Fennekin by http://nastyjungle.deviantart.com/

fennekin_evolutions_by_nastyjungle-d5qw86i

The evolutions of Froaky by http://kezrek.deviantart.com/

froakie_speculative_evolution_by_kezrek-d5qxbzq

And lastly I found this on google but cannot for the life of me track down the original artists, so if anyone has any idea please give me a shout!

hTxiB

I suppose all that really matters now is how the final evolutions will look. We can always hope! Please don’t let us down!

Ipad Mini – Not Really A Review – ish…

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ipad-mini

 

So, I finally joined the mobile revolution and bought an iPad Mini. This is my “sort of review” – but I really don’t know enough about mobile and tablets to compare and contrast, so it’s more of a blog about the bloomin’ thing!

Firstly, why did I buy it? Until a couple of months ago I really couldn’t see the point. I get my gaming fix on PC. What about movies? Well, what’s the point of paying to download movies to watch on a relatively teeny-tiny screen? And then there’s this whole “mobile” thing. I had a Gameboy in my schooldays but since then I’ve never really felt the burning urge to play games when I’m out and about. Games are things I play when I can concentrate. At home. With a cup of coffee and a cigarette on the go.

Then this flipping thing happened: a ton of companies started to release games exclusively for iOS and some of these games really appealed to me. Rodeo Games released their “Hunters” series (which reminded me a lot of games like Lazer Squad and the original X-Com) and then they went and released “Warhammer Quest”. This is one of my all time favourite table top fantasy games (infuriatingly discontinued by Games Workshop only 3 years after its release in the mid nineties). I just had to buy it, didn’t I? And that meant buying an iPad.

But having tinkered around for a week or so now – getting familiar with the different apps and conditioning my brain to stop looking for things like a central data folder (everything is controlled through the apps themselves) – I’ve started to remember what the appeal is with mobile gaming. And I think I might even have started to understand exactly what the niche is that tablets fill. They’re smaller than a laptop but functionally connected (in a way I’ve found mobile phones, for all their versatility, not to be. You can’t comfortably browse the net on a mobile in my humble opinion). Tablets are actually powerful enough to reproduce media in a high enough quality that it’s actually enjoyable whilst still satisfying the criteria that they be portable. 

adoptionSo, maybe I’m not an early adopter but I’ve finally made a leap of faith. I have my little iPad Mini to care for – regularly wiping bacon grease from it’s scarily fragile screen. I think though that the rise and fall of hardware is very dependent upon the software that’s available. The concept of roaming gameplay wasn’t enough for me to join the mobile revolution – it was the ability to buy a piece of software I couldn’t get any other way that forced me into it!

Are you an iPad or tablet fanboy/girl? What’s the appeal for you? Did you jump on the bandwagon years ago or – like me – has something piqued your interest recently and you’re considering it for the first time? Feel free to leave a comment below.

BBC Release The Official Doctor 50th Anniversary Episode Poster…

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…and quite frankly it’s about time to. You’d be right to sense a little touch of  bitterness, it has been far to long since the lucky bastards who went to SDCC saw the first trailer for this historic special episode and yet us, the skint UK TV licence payers, have been privy to nothing, nada, not even a bean.

But I shall not let my anger dampen this happy occasion. Behold this poster in all it’s glory, I mean look it’s David Tennant, back, as the Doctor, wooooo!

The 75 minute special episode titled The Day of the Doctor  and will see not only the return of the 10th Doctor and Rose, but also John Hurt’s (not) Doctor. This is a major event for all Whovians and do you know what? It’s only 73 days away.

doctor-who-50th

 

Diablo 3 – 8GPPs

There’s something quite satisfying about entering a dungeon, and cleaning out a swathe of undead miscreants in your quest for glory, and booty. Something about being able to dispatch a throng of ten to fifteen enemies in one fell swoop with some explosive lightning or a swing of a hefty battle axe is… liberating. It’s also a great stress reliever after a hard day doing whichever monotonous activity you’ve been subjected to for eight hours or so.

There are many games that offer such a  pastime, yet one particular franchise stands out as a pioneer in this field of swashbuckling hack n slashtacular heroism; Diablo.

Diablo 3 Header

Blizzard Entertainment, probably most well known for the virulent MMORPG World of Warcraft and the Sci Fi strategy title Starcraft, introduced us to the world of Diablo back in 1996,  with a title predominantly created for PC and Mac users – there was a diabolical (see what I did there?) port made for the Playstation by Electronic Arts… but we don’t talk about that.

Now the console adaptation has been reattempted, this time with the third  installment of the sword and sorcery dungeon plunder-em-up… and thankfully with rather a lot of love and attention paid to it, and it shows.

Released for Mac and PC in the May of 2012, console users have waited prettymuch a year and a half for Diablo 3, but thankfully the wait has paid off, and the result is a polished and enjoyable experience… albeit with a few loose ends here and there. This is largely (in my opinion) down to the development being kept in-house at Blizzard, and not farmed-out to another developer like EA.

Leah watches as her uncle is swallowed by the chasm
Leah watches as her uncle is swallowed by the chasm

Diablo 3 is initially fairly light on story, with the world of Sanctuary being invaded yet again by the Dark lord Diablo, and the player being tasked with defeating the menace. The initial narrative (told in a rather stunning cinematic) starts with a mysterious falling star hitting a Cathedral in which Deckard Cain and his niece Leah are in researching an ominous prophecy (fortuitous timing indeed!)… Deckard falls into the resulting crater much to the understandable dismay of Leah.

When the player appears as the game’s protagonist, they’re in a town known as New Tristram, there to investigate said falling star… and the infestation of undead pests is rife throughout… then follows the quest to save Leah’s uncle, and investigate further into what the effects are of falling star’s presence.

The story then opens up though the player’s actions, as well as books and tomes located throughout the world, told in a nice voice overlay as you go about your slaying and looting business.

As the player you can choose between five character archetypes; Barbarian, Monk, Witch Doctor, Demon Hunter and Sorcerer. The first two classes are the only melée options, with the other 3 only having ranged attacks. The Monk is the speedy melée fighter, and the Barbarian is the heavy tank character. The Witch Doctor is the class dependent on pets, while the Demon Hunter is the class most like WoW’s Hunter class, utilising traps to gain the upper hand. Lastly the Sorcerer is the “Ronseal” class – it does exactly what it says on the tin… blows the crap out of everything from a distance.

The general game and UI design is pretty robust, with a new radial menu system being used for this console version. This new menu initially feels a little clunky, yet as you use it more and more it becomes second nature. The radial menus are only used when you’re swapping out gear and abilities, or using a vendor or craftsman, and for that purpose it works really well. After about 10 minutes of fiddling, I was switching out gear and adding runes to abilities like a pro.

The radial menus work really well
The radial menus work really well

Some nice little touches have been added too – if you pick up some gear and you don’t already have something equipped in that slot (bracers for example), then it auto-equips for you. When you loot gear now you can tap up on the D-pad, and flick through your recent acquisitions, with options to drop and equip without even opening up the character menu. This makes for much quicker gameplay and less stopping and starting.

You get a minimap on the screen at all times, but tapping down on the D-pad expands the map to full screen, tapping down again hides it – again a great addition to speed things along a bit. Pressing left and right on the D-pad is saved for social interactions, like looking at current friends playing and inviting them to groups etc, as well as porting back to home base.

Each new learned ability is assigned to a joypad button, be it the triggers or joypad’s face buttons – there are a few default controls too. L1 is automatically assigned the health pot option, or your inventory slot which I found I’d often use them by accident when I didn’t need to. A new addition specifically for the console version of Diablo 3 is the dodge option, attributed to the right analogue stick. Flicking the right stick in a direction of your choice will cause your character to roll/flip in that direction – a useful option when you’re surrounded by a horde of brain-licking zombies. If I’m honest though I found that I didn’t really use this very much at the beginning of the game, then later on when it becomes useful, I kept forgetting I had the facility available.

The control system on the whole feels good – the auto-aim works well with the joysticks, the action is fast and unrelenting (until you clear the area of mobs anyway)… with the game billed as an Action RPG, it’s definitely more action than anything else – and this is definitely a good thing.

The radial menus are the main difference between the console and PC/Mac versions, though there is another notable difference – there’s no auction house in the console versions of the game. This has been largely welcomed, as it was often suggested that the auction house mechanic broke the Diablo 3 community, and has always been deemed fairly controversial. Without the auction house as part of the game though, the loot drops have been adjusted to compensate.

It's sometimes easy to get overrun
It’s sometimes easy to get overrun

Now players will find that loot drops less frequently, but when there are drops, they’re usually of much higher quality. This also works really well, and by the time I was level 11 with my Sorcerer, about half of my equipment was either “Rare” or “Legendary”.

There is an odd aspect of the gear and loot in the game though. Say for example you’re playing as a Witch Doctor – initially your primary attack is using a blow-dart to damage your enemies. However if you loot a particularly nice dagger, you can equip it and utilise the buffs it provides. This doesn’t sound too bad… however – the Witch Doctor class – like the Sorcerer and Demon Hunter – doesn’t have a melée attack… so what does he do? He still somehow uses the blowpipe. It’s an odd mechanic which can irritate at first, but not too much to quell my need for better loot.

When it comes to Diablo 3’s graphical prowess, it does pretty well. Landscapes are beautifully rendered, and the framrate doesn’t dip even when you’re being plagued by multiple enemies. Enemies are well designed, and some look suitably gruesome  – the vomiting undead witches remind me of the witches from Left 4 Dead, though thankfully they move slower. Boss and mini boss fights are particularly fun, with early bosses being initially intimidating, and quite well designed and animated too. As your level increases, the scope and size of the bosses seem to increase to match.

The sound effects work well to set the atmosphere, with weaponry giving the appropriate chunky noises to give impacts a little weight – the only thing that could accentuate the impacts more would be to provide force feedback into the controller. Enemies sound great, and the voice acting is well done too. I’d prefer there to be on-screen subtitles for dialogue too, but this is only present when you’re going through a story mission – for other talking you only get the on-screen speech bubble with three dots in, so it’s not always possible to play the game with the sound turned down.

Bosses become gargantuan
Bosses become gargantuan

When it comes to mission complexity there’s not much to worry about, but it doesn’t make the game any less enjoyable. The boss fights get more complicated though, with particular techniques that need to be employed to defeat them in some cases.

Rewards from the aforementioned boss fights and quest completion have had a noticeable update from the PC version of the game though – the loot drops have been altered to account for the lack of auction house, and you quickly pick up your first bit of legendary gear… I had my first bit drop when I was about level 11, and it’s lasted well into the 20s already. It’s also possible to have rare gear dropped, as well as crafted for you… for a price. The higher the difficulty level, the more rewarding the loot drops get… so this can be quite a draw for the loot-hungry, but does give the game more replay value as a result.

The multiplayer aspect of the game is exactly as you’d expect – you and 3 of your buddies can either play locally or online, and it’s pretty easy to drop in and out of play. It’s also incredibly easy to migrate your characters via cloud storage or USB too, which should make local gameplay that bit more fun – this is something that most games of late is lacking. I miss the good old days of playing locally with your friends sat beside you, giving you stick when you die and the general banter that goes along with simultaneous multiplayer games.

Local multiplayer is really good fun
Local multiplayer is really good fun

When playing online with friends the loading times do increase slightly while you wait for friends to connect, and while the host is determined – in fact if your host is ever migrated, the game feels the need to tell you in two different terms that it’s doing so.

One thing that did seem a little inconsistent when playing with friends was the loot drops – playing on your own usually involves a constant stream of weaponry and armour drops, but this seemed to diminish a bit when I played with fellow Geek Pride writer Phil. We tried switching hosts, but this didn’t seem to alter. All we noticed is that what did drop ended up being more in-line with our character classes. 

The other side of multiplayer falls into the realm of PVP and some of the more endgame content, with the ability to search for particular players being a welcome option.

The overall story is (much like it’s PC brethren) a little on the corny side, but the console improvements outweigh what few gripes I have about the game. Being new to the series of Diablo, I really enjoy it’s third incarnation – I’m rather known for having a bit of a short attention span, but I got a little sucked in to the game and now I’m levelling one of every character type.

I started playing Diablo 3 for the action, but I found myself coming back to it again and again for the ever increasing loot incentive. Let’s just say I don’t see myself putting it down anytime soon.

Diablo 3 is out now on Playstation 3 and Xbox 360. We’ve reviewed the PS3 version.

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