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Dust and Decay – Chapter 7 – By Sean P. Wallace

Want to know what’s happening? The first book Dust and Sand was serialised here at Geek Pride. A summary is available here. You can also buy the definitive edition of Dust and Sand at all good eBook stores.

The Sister and Reeves went to say some goodbyes. It was only polite: they’d stayed with the Governor for a few days, gotten to know his family and servants. Downright charitable of him, really. But the delay suited Joshua. He would enjoy his last moments of guaranteed privacy in the coach. Make sure everything there was still secure.

At the front entrance, the servant he’d handed the carriage to waited, white gloves and shirt pristine. Joshua turned him around roughly and said, “Get me my carriage, boy. Now.”

“Yessir.”

Joshua gave him a kick as he went, leaving a dusty boot print that the servant wiped off as he jogged. That made him chuckle. Then Joshua realised he was staring at a man’s ass, and felt like a damn cock-sucker for a moment.

The negro soon brought the carriage around with fresh, deep scratches in the paintwork. In the wards that would’ve protected them in the Badlands. Joshua nearly bit through his tongue: their mission had just been made a damn sight more difficult by the fool’s carelessness.

“What in the name of damnation is that, you fucking ni–” Joshua caught himself. He’d have to get out of that habit for a few days. “Nincompoop,” he finished without gusto.

“What do you mean, sir?”

“That, you boot-licking son of a bitch!” Joshua pulled the whoreson down from the carriage, two big handfuls of his shirt, ripping the seams. He dragged the fool over to the scratches and forced his head against the damage. “You see that, huh?”

“That’s… That’s not my fault, sir. Didn’t drive the thing all the way. Dutchman took over so’s I could get back here. Musta been him that did it.”

“I don’t care who did it, you little shit,” Joshua punctuated his point with a punch to the teeth. “I put you in charge of Solution property, so I hold you responsible. Not that I should have been foolish enough to have trusted a damned… servant.”

Joshua was about to punch him again when the Governor’s side door opened. One used by friends and family. Plenty of folk had walked past this exchange without batting an eyelid, most having former-slave servants themselves and so knowing how it could be with the damn fools. But it might be Reeves, so Joshua stepped back a little, let the useless servant bleed onto the floor.

Sister Irujo stepped into view. Her caramel brow creased as she saw Joshua with raw knuckles and the servant getting to his feet.

“What has happened here?”

“Damn servant here’s busted up my carriage,” Joshua said, gesturing to the scratches. “I was just disciplining him. ‘Specially as this is gonna put us out on our… quest for the Governor. Damn useless son of a bitch!”

The Sister glided past him to the uneven servant. Black skin pale from shock. His lips bled, adding crimson to his ripped shirt. Repairing that’d come out of his wages, such as they were.

“You perhaps should have let his employer discipline him,” Sister Irujo said as looked over the man’s wounds. “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”

The servant shook his head, a wild panic possessing him. “No, ma’am, please don’t tell the Governor ’bout this. I’d rather take a short beating from sir here.”

“It wouldn’t be no short beating, boy.” Sister Irujo’s expression gave him pause. “But go on, get, before I change my mind.”

“Thank you, sir, and I’m mighty sorry ’bout your carriage.”

With that, the servant ran off. Sister Irujo watched him go, a look of concern on her face.

“You wondering why he’d rather take a licking from me than punishment from the Governor?”

The Sister looked back at the house. Slowly, she nodded.

“Me, I can only give him a few licks before it’d look unseemly. Though, with it being Solution property, maybe I’d get to give him a good thrashing. But the Governor can hit him where it really hurts: take away his wages, make his kids go hungry. Even they look after their kids, want to see ’em full of an evening.”

She looked disgusted. “You think yourself merciful in comparison.”

Joshua shrugged. “Mercy don’t come in to it. I’m just telling you how it is. And his own reaction ought to tell you the truth in my words.”

She kept staring, her eyes boring into the alabaster walls. Eventually, she looked away. “Maybe in some of them. Anyway, may I examine your carriage, Mister McManaman?”

“Be my guest. It’s fair on ruined for our trip any way.”

The nun walked around the carriage, continuing her damn annoying habit of not replying. Was that a Church thing or something about being Spanish? He assumed she was Spanish. Or maybe a tribal from Mexico or below. Whatever she was, he thought it damned rude. Getting revenge for Eleanor was going to be hard enough without this nun raising his ire all the time.

Sister Irujo circled the carriage a second time, then returned to the scratches. It was once one of the Solution’s great triumphs, a network of magic spells which masked it, its passengers, and its horses to creatures of the Triangle. Black and silver, ornately carved, intricate. Like a royal coach or something a king would be buried in.

At least, it was all that before the scratches. Now, it was just a rough wooden box with purposeless scrawls along its hide.

“This is impressive,” Sister Irujo said as she knelt by the scratched wards. “You are approaching what the Vatican were capable of ten years ago.”

Joshua ground his teeth. “Beg pardon?”

“The wards and spells you use, they approach the power of those the Papal coach was warded with a decade or so ago. Your Solution has come far: I was told to expect far more primitive artefacts than this.”

“Thanks, I suppose.”

“Shall I repair this?”

“Beg pardon?” Joshua asked again, though not so angrily this time.

The nun gestured toward the scratched paintwork. “These scratches, which now render ruin unto this carriage, do you wish for me to repair them? Return the overall spell to working order?”

Joshua shook his head. “I don’t know. These’re complex spells here, Sister. I don’t want you poking about with it and ruining the whole thing. Or hurting yourself.”

She frowned, confused. “It is a simple, albeit well-engineered, lattice of obfuscation magics, silent prayers, and spells using the Nations’ sigils. There is little complex about it, aside from the fine balancing of where to put each spell. Besides, only these four symbols,” she gestured to some Masonic lettering, “are damaged enough to affect the whole pattern. The others are designed to fortify and bolster the walls. As such, I would be in no danger.”

“You think you can repair it?” Joshua’s fists balled at being talked to like he was only five. “Fine. Have at it. But, if you get yourself hurt, it’ll be on your head that our posse halted before it even damn well began.”

The Sister shook her head, which only elevated his rage further. If he’d had a gun on him, Joshua might’ve drawn it. He struggled himself back down to a simmer, waiting for the stupid bitch to fuck up the carriage and blow her damn head off.

Best to keep his temper under wraps, he told himself when a bit calmer. It’d been too long since he worked with other people. Well, with ‘normal’ folk. He had to remember why he was here. What really mattered: Dustin Longe’s death.

Sister Irujo nun put her hands either side of the scratches, closed her eyes, and whispered prayers in Latin. Her body shook like she had a fever. Her words trembled. Just as Joshua was ready to laugh at her messing with shit she didn’t understand, her eyes flashed yellow. It wasn’t a long burst, but she was casting actual magic. That gave him pause.

The Sister stopped whispering and concentrated her gaze on the carriage. Vibrations filled the air, drilling into his skull. There was a pop, like a cork gun. The wood bounced back into place, like the scratches had been ripples in a pond that dissipated: the surface calmed, stilled, and then the paint returned as though summoned.

“Amen,” she said as she took her hands away.

Impressive as that was, popping the wood and paint back into being hadn’t necessarily repaired the magic. Joshua jumped onto the roof of the carriage and crawled over it to check the spell’s power source, a small glass sphere of blood from a creature of Melting Flesh. Set into the roof, it powered the whole carriage. And it was still whole and sickly green. Joshua flicked it lightly with his cracked nail. The magics thrummed in response, like a distant voice singing one note.

“My God.”

“Please, do not blaspheme before me,” Sister Irujo said as she marched over to stare up at the carriage. “It is unkind.”

Joshua noted another damn thing he’d have to hold back on. “My apologies, but that was pretty impressive. They teach you that in the Vatican?”

The Sister gave him a small smile. “It, like all magic, is an ability given to me by God Almighty. I have merely been taught how to channel it.”

The Vatican’s little con was going strong. Though, con as it was, it clearly got results.

“Well, I’m sure glad of it. And I assume you have other such abilities too?”

She nodded, but would say no more.

“Anyway, thank you.”

“It was no trouble.”

Joshua hopped down and turned to hide his troubled expression. If the Sister could cast such spells with little preparation, she was no normal Christian. He’d kind of known that from her writ of authenticity, but this sealed it: the carriage would’ve made things easier, but it wasn’t vital. That means the Sister had cast complex magic as a favour to him. No, maybe she’d done it to protect the servant and his kids, but she’d still done it with little debate. She was strong. Damn strong.

Obviously, the Vatican would send someone strong to help capture the Wanted Man, but this strong? Not just for a favour. Joshua reckoned they might have their own agenda. Ever since they’d purged their ranks of Omnis worshippers, it was clear this new Pope had plans for America. And those plans might easily involve the Wanted Man, converting or using him.

Suspicion found fertile soil in Joshua’s imagination. This Sister had gone from a hindrance to an enemy of the Solution. Of Mister Naismith.

“I’ll check things in here,” Joshua said. “We’ve got some important artefacts which might’ve taken a beating from that fine spell of yours. Give me a knock when Reeves arrives, will you?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.” Joshua replied, plastering on a smile.

The Sister knelt to pray. No one was listening, of course.

The coach’s compartment was just a box. Much like ones travelling quacks sell their wares from, one with no home comforts that opened at the back. Mostly it held food, water, bullets, and weapons. Joshua’s personal effects were in there as well. Some of which might’nt’ve survived whatever magic the Sister played with.

Ducking by a barrel of water, he collected his pack from behind some tins of food. Within was the special map and the vial. Neither was spoiled or damaged. He also checked the Solution communication sphere and found it in good order.

Just after he’d put the artefacts back, Joshua fair on shit himself as Reeves jumped into the carriage.

“Mister McManaman, you in here?”

Joshua quickly stood. “Yup. I was just checking on our supplies. You know what servants can be like: they sometimes think you won’t miss one or two cans.”

Reeves was careful to keep his expression neutral. “Anything missing?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s good. You ready to mosey out, then?”

Joshua nodded. The Marshall stepped aside so Joshua could climb out of the carriage.

Sister Irujo was around the front, brushing the horses down. She wouldn’t look Joshua in the eye. Oh yes, she was a definite enemy for this trip.

Starsky and Hutch Coming to Birmingham

Prepare to get your seventies funk on this month, when Starsky and Hutch‘s Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky), David Soul (Hutch) and the inestimable Antonio Fargas (Huggy Bear) descend on the Birmingham NEC for MCM Birmingham Comic Con.

Starsky and Hutch followed the escapades of David Starsky and Kenneth “Hutch” Hutchinson as they tore around “Bay City, California” in their iconic bright red Ford Gran Torino (which will also be making an appearance), ably assisted by the informant Huggy Bear.  The series saw them delivering justice to the Bay City underworld for nearly a hundred episodes, which seemingly involved rolling over the bonnet of their car a lot.

Joining Glaser, Soull and Fargas is the former song star Billie Piper, but now more famous for her role as Brona Croft in Penny Dreadful and Rose Tyler in Doctor Who.  Continuing the Doctor Who theme, Greg Austin and Fady Elsayed, who played Charlie Smith and Ram Sighn respectively in Class, will also be there.

Alongside these special guests will be the usual assortment of traders, creators, exhibitors, cosplayers, wrestling and (for some reason) a “glamour” mansion (screened to prevent younger guests from wandering in).

MCM Birmingham Comic Con will be held at the Birmingham NEC on the 18th and 19th March. Tickets are available here:
http://www.mcmexpostore.com/collections/birmingham-comic-con-memorabilia

The Geek Pride Cast #Yummy

This week, slightly later than usual, we had the great privilege of having Nick and Gary from Sneaky Zebra on our Podcast again, where in we talk about drinking lots at SDCC, their struggles through Prop Wars 2, Youtube, and a llllllooooot of Politics… cause we aren’t a political podcast **cough**

https://www.youtube.com/sneakyzebra
https://www.facebook.com/TheSneakyZebra
https://twitter.com/The_SneakyZebra

Listen above, download below, or find us on ITUNES

Rogue Trooper returns to gaming with remastered edition

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Rogue Trooper, the iconic blue skinned infantry man created by Gerry Finley Day and Dave Gibbons in 1981, is one of the only 2000AD characters besides Judge Dredd to actually get his own game. Released in 2006 and simply titled Rogue Trooper the third person shooter game actually made a pretty decent go at adapting the brutal and often harrowing story of war on the poisoned Nu-Earth and was a pretty good game with it.

Rogue is the last survivor of a platoon of genetically engineered soldiers that were betrayed and ambushed by enemy forces, with the biochips of some of his fallen comrades installed in his helmet, rifle and bag Rogue lives for vengeance and becomes the stuff of nightmares for both the Norts and the Southers.

Anyone who likes the sound of that can rejoice as it’s just been announced that TickTock Games is working an updated reworked version of Rogue Trooper – Rogue Trooper- Redux for PC, Playstation 4, X-Box One and Nintendo Switch.

Check out the teaser trailer below.

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Nerd Block Classic: February 2017

Another month is nearly at an end, which means it’s time for another Nerd Block review. This month’s theme is “Time Travel”, one of my favourite sci-fi concepts, so here’s hoping for some good items. Let’s take a look.

There are six total items in this month’s box. Up first is what is usually the least-exciting item, the monthly button/lapel pin.

It’s a lapel pin of one of the license plates from the DeLorean in Back to the Future. It’s nice-looking and fairly heavy for its size due to the metal and the thickness. I like it better than the shoe pin from the franchise I got a couple months ago, but I’m also reminded that this is now the second pin from the franchise in just a couple months.

Onto item number 2, a pair of socks.

I love Futurama and I’m always in need of new socks. Having said that, I’m disappointed here. You can’t tell by the picture, but these socks are incredibly thin and, if they’re anything like the socks I’ve gotten in these boxes before, they are not going to fit well at all, especially because of my calves. Aside from the sweater socks my wife got a couple months ago, the socks in these boxes ALWAYS fit poorly. I don’t blame Nerd Block; Loot Crate is also guilty (probably moreso). I’ll know tomorrow if these fit better than usual, but I’m not hopeful. Also, due to how thin they are, I fully expect to get holes in them within a couple months.

Let’s take a look at the next item.

Christ.

Remember when I said the lapel pin is usually the least interesting item in these boxes? Not this month. It’s this one. This is a magnetic clip sporting a caricature of Frank from the movie Donnie Darko. Now, this item is practical at least. We buy a lot of crisps in my household, and these are great for keeping the bags closed, so we will definitely use it. However, it’s Donnie Darko, one of the dumbest, most overrated movies of the last couple decades. Sorry, but the movie flat-out sucks. The person who first recommended it to me swore up and down it was a total mindf**k, which normally I would be down with. Instead, it’s boring as hell, and didn’t mess with my head in even the slightest. Now, said person who made the recommendation liked herself the nose clams, so perhaps it is a total mindf**k for cokeheads. I don’t know. I do have some friends now that like this movie, and that’s fine, but they’re all communists. Okay, not really. But yeah, this movie sucks. Rant over.

Item number 4 is the first of two clothing items this month.

It’s a beanie (or toque, for my Canadian friends. Hi, Christine!) of the show Stargate: SG-1. I have never seen the show. Ever. Not one episode. The original movie was good, but never struck me as something that needed an expanded universe. Anyway, the hat doesn’t look bad, save for the stupid puffball on top. Those are only acceptable on Jayne hats. I was going to put it up on eBay, but the missus decided she wants it. She has also never seen the show; she just likes the look and fit of the hat. So…win?

Next is the second clothing item, the monthly t-shirt.

Doctor Strange was one of the most fun movies of 2016, and if you’re not a fan of Benedict Cumberbatch, you’re wrong. This item gets a thumb’s up. Not the most inspired design, but it’s decent enough, and being a blue shirt instead of black is a plus. I wanted to keep it, but so did my wife (shocker, no?). Now, if you’ve read my stuff before (and we know you haven’t), you know that normally, if the shirt is one we both want, we fight over it in UFC 2. However, I’ve gotten pretty much all of the shirts from both these boxes and the Firefly Cargo Crates the last few months, so I went ahead and let her have it. Only seemed fair.

And finally, an item from Rick and Morty.

Hey, a full-blown card game! Games are definitely a rarity in these boxes, so that’s immediately a plus. I’m not a fan of the series (I really did try; just not my thing), but I love card and tabletop games, so that’s another plus. Also, I’ve got a couple other Cryptozoic card games, and they do a pretty decent job, so I’m hopeful this will be fun. Perhaps I’ll do a review of it for March? Anyway, even if I’m not a fan of the franchise, I appreciate getting a full game and, by the looks of it, one that should make for a good time.

******

Well, not the worst box I’ve ever received, but not a great one either. Thus far, this is probably the most disappointing box I’ve gotten from Nerd Block. The items are mostly so-so and half are franchises I just don’t care about. Also, how do you do a box with the theme of “Time Travel” and not include one single Doctor Who item? Even a sticker or patch would have been acceptable. Talk about a complete misfire.

That’s all for this month. Next month, the theme is “Team Up”. I can’t even begin to guess what franchises will be represented, as that’s a very broad term. I’m sure one or two superhero-related items, but that’s about all I can guess right now. Loot Crate did this same theme a while back and it was very disappointing. Here’s hoping lightning doesn’t strike twice.

RIP Bill Paxton

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It is with great sadness that we have been informed that veteran actor Bill Paxton has died, due to complications in surgery, at the age of 61.

Having started his career in the mid 70s Paxton has a long list of film and tv credits but is most well known for  classics like: Weird Science, Terminator, Aliens, predator 2 and even, more recently, Agents of Shield.

Of all of these, on a personal level, Hudson from Aliens was always one of my favourites, so many one liners from that personality and I have so many fond memories of running round with my mates shouting “GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER!”

A true legend and he will be greatly missed.

I’m ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do not wanna fuck with me. Check it out! Hey Ripley, don’t worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out!

Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Vwap! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phased plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks…

 

Dust and Decay – Chapter 6 – By Sean P. Wallace

Want to know what’s happening? The first book Dust and Sand was serialised here at Geek Pride. A summary is available here. You can also buy the definitive edition of Dust and Sand at all good eBook stores.

Gentle Branch, the Chief’s most-trusted warrior, was the one ordered to take Dust to Kehuadinune’s secret entrance. Dust’d hoped it’d be him: thoughtful, straight-forward, and plain-spoken, he was. Dust liked the man’s company.

“I envy you, Dust,” he said shortly after setting off. “Entering the city of our ancestors is a great honour. One we have been denied for years.”

“I’d take you if I could.”

Gentle Branch shook his head. “I would never break the ruling of my chieftain, my friend. But I wish I was in your shoes.”

“You don’t want that. No one would.”

The warrior turned his broad, gnarled face toward Dust and tutted. Maybe forty, he didn’t have a scar or wrinkle on him thanks to his regenerative tattoos. Only his eyes showed his age. From what Dust knew of this magic, ageing and each regenerated wound would come on him all at once. Some time soon. Such warriors know they’re trading away their old age. Like Shadows Fade. So Gentle Branch would not see as many years as Dust, would likely not meet his grandchildren.

Dust winced as his tattoo bit into him. Gentle Branch took that as an apology.

They talked further on the way, small matters of band politics, the weapons Dust’d improved for the Teotek, or just tales of the past. The latter was a richer vein of conversation, with Gentle Branch telling stories from before he’d had warded tools and tattoos to rely on.

They weren’t walking toward the carved city. Instead, they circled the band’s protective wards and headed for some innocuous boulders a mile south. Dust’d never thrown his magical senses over the city – doing so’d be taken as an insult – but figured it’d be okay to look ahead. Yet he could find no magic that’d hint there was something there.

Not that that meant anything. His senses mightn’t be as good as the magic protecting the city.

“That where we’re headed?”

Gentle Branch looked back towards his people. Dust followed his gaze. No one’d followed them. No one paid them any attention. Still, you can never be too careful, so he didn’t reply.

When they got to the boulders, Gentle Branch squeezed through a narrow gap between them. Then dropped out of sight. Dust laughed and leaned in: there was a two foot wide hole leading to some sort of cave. Gentle Branch grinned up at him.

“Were you worried?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hundred percent.”

“Fine, fine. Come down then.”

Dust leapt down, dirtying his worn-in jeans and patched up shirt.

The small cave, dry and dusty, tapered to a crawl space on one side and was sheer rock on the other. It reminded Dust of the temple to That Which Sins that Shadows Fade had destroyed. The one Penelope had been held in. He’d thought that demons’d made the Wastrels’ hideout, but maybe they’d used techniques from the Native Americans.

Or maybe this was how the Three entered Kehuadinune…

Gentle Branch snapped his fingers. Magical light appeared on his forehead, illuminating the long stretch ahead. Endless, beige rock and dirt. Then he dropped to his hands and knees and crawled ahead. If this was an eldritch tunnel, the warrior didn’t care a jot.

Dust crawled after him, only seeing smooth rock and Gentle Branch’s ass for maybe ten minutes. The tunnel didn’t get any wider or narrower, just kept going and going. Dust didn’t get bored, but he sure was glad when the tunnel finally widened into a space too low for him, but tall enough for Gentle Branch to stand properly.

Before them was a stone door. Magic roared from it. Constant waves, mist from a waterfall. Even someone who couldn’t feel magic’d know there was something powerful abroad, either in the door or beyond it.

“This is one of three doorways into the old city,” Gentle Branch said. “They only open for a short period every day, and will not open again until the sun has set and risen.”

The warrior pulled a snake’s tooth from his thick hair and handed it to Dust. “This particular door opens when an adder’s fang is pressed against it. Keep this safe or you will die in there.”

Dust took the fang, white and clean, and twirled it on his finger. “I’ll bear that in mind.”

“Whenever you are ready, my friend.”

“Anything I should know?”

“Nothing you couldn’t discover.”

“True enough.”

“Were you anyone but a chosen of Resistance, I would wish you luck. As it is, I wish you speed.”

Dust nodded and pressed the tooth against the door. The magic fell away, making the barrier little more than a slab of rock. Dust pushed at it with his shoulder. Antique dust dislodged as the stone allowed the city’s lower levels their first fresh air in years.

Before the spell could recover, Dust slipped through and pushed the door closed, leaving him alone in the choked, ancient air. Gentle Branch crawling away was the only sound he heard, and that only lasted thirty seconds. Then he was left in silence, darkness, stillness.

Dust pleaded with his tattoo for the magic to light his way. It decided to be an awkward bastard. Resistance couldn’t very well expect him to proceed in the dark, yet here its presence in his body was being obstinate. There would be a reason, but he couldn’t think of it. Not that the damn thing operated by logic…

Least, not any logic Dust knew of.

Though why would it? No one had ever seen anything like it: a roaming magic source, magic disposal unit, and power for his tough and regenerative body. A portal to the only benevolent god mankind’d met. The damn thing was why he’d agreed to join the Solution in the first place. To seek answers. Well, here he was, on the run, knowing little more than before.

The tattoo finally relented and let him summon a small ball of light. Finally, he wasn’t in darkness. Not that there was much to see: only a featureless, roughly carved corridor. Walls crumbling, ceiling suspect. This was built quickly. Maybe it was a possible escape route that never got finished? So the people of Kehuadinune had warded it instead on their way out. He didn’t know, but it felt like he was in an afterthought. Or a mistake.

Dust walked ahead of the light ball. His movement and breath echoed in the narrow space. He took his time. Battles ahead might need his energy.

After half an hour, the rough corridor became a real passage. Tiled flooring, dead magic carved along the walls, and sconces for torches. The ground was slanted slightly, so he had to lean to his left as he walked. It remained still and dead. And it smelled of damp rock and old bones.

Eventually, he came to a fork. The right tunnel led further down, the left would return him to the surface. Dust went right, into the earth’s bowels, seeking ancient magic.

What could this bowl be? He didn’t know of any bowl-like artefacts that’d help prove a theory. Then again, why would he if this thing has been hidden for centuries? How could it help prove a theory though? Maybe the golden bowl saw into the future. Or the past. The past was more likely, but even that’d require something of great power. And something of great power could’ve attracted something mighty powerful to feed on it.

Dust reckoned One Who Goes About’s story about Kehuadinune being evacuated was true. Half a feeling and half deductive reasoning. No social change would leave the city dangerous for humans to enter. Yep, there was surely something eldritch ahead.

Finally, some action. He grinned as he walked along. It’d been too long, too much time cooped up. He wanted to kill something.

This corridor curved gently to the left for maybe an hour. A corkscrew in a rotten wine bottle. Then it stopped suddenly with a mile-deep drop. A ladder was carved into the nearest wall, its top jutting up a few inches. It’d require strength and concentration, and no small measure of risk, but it was a way to proceed.

“Guess I’ve got a climb ahead of me.”

His voice echoed away into the depths.

On the edge of his hearing, something tittered. Someone else might’ve thought it their imagination or a trick of the ancient city. Dust knew better. Something had heard him and found his pronouncement amusing.

“I can hear you, you know,” Dust called, his words repeating all the way down.

This time, he got not a titter but a full-blown laugh. Foul air rose from below, a warm belch. His hair and clothes were tousled by the force.

Dust wafted the foul smell away, breathing out slowly. And his fingernails blackened before his eyes. Curious, Dust pulled at one. It came away. Easily. He wasn’t best pleased as he dropped the nail down the abyss, but he wasn’t worried either: the fingernail quickly grew back. Then blackened once more.

“That’s a waste of power, you know.”

Another laugh.

“Let’s see how funny you think this is.”

He closed his eyes, leaving him in a blank world with no stimuli. His nose’d gotten used to the stench already. That was good: the silence would give him adequate warning if anything approached. Even a shift in the still air’d do the trick. So he could concentrate on absorbing the dark magic thrown at him, this evil which’d meant the deaths of so many Teotek warriors. For that was one of the main benefits of his tattoo.

Dust lowered his defences to let the foul magic burrow into him. Into his blood, his meat. His legs tried to buckle, his head span, but that was the plan: he made a river for this evil to enter through. Now, it’d all flow in no matter what.

After a short prayer, he fed the flow of spiteful magic right into his tattoo. The damn thing actually behaved this time. Opened its bottomless maw to suck in every damn mote of energy.

Fuck but it hurt. Damn stuff not only wore him down, but ripped as it was absorbed. Juddering, teeth clenched, Dust fought against breathing too loudly and ruining the peace which kept him safe. His eyes watered. Light and agony flared behind his eyes.

But Dust didn’t have to give Resistance everything for this service. Just two weeks ago, absorbing this much dark magic would’ve left him drained and dry, but Dust could now do it for no cost aside from the pain. One of the perks of the Teotek’s sanctuary.

When the hateful magic was gone, Dust opened his eyes. The pain went, his shaking stopped. All was the same as when he’d closed them. Well, not exactly the same: the smell had gone and his remaining fingernails no longer blackened.

He nodded to himself, proud of a job well done. Clumps of hair tumbled from his crown. More was piled on his shoulders. Reaching up, he found all his hair had fallen out, even his damn eyebrows. His hands were hairless too. And his arms. And chest. He was smooth as a doll.

“Shit. You joking with me?”

Resistance, at least, was doing him the damn favour of regrowing his missing fingernails. His eyebrows’d probably grow back soonish – the ‘god’ didn’t want him looking any weirder to common folk than normal – but he’d likely lost every other bit of hair on his body.

To prove his theory, Dust shook his jeans legs out. Leg and some pubic hair fell to the ground. But not all of it: he had to claw into his underwear for great handfuls of coarse, black hair. Out of spite, he dropped them all down into the abyss.

A low giggle rumbled up from below, though it was not as confident as before the belch. That cheered Dust up, at least.

Hands-On with Lego Worlds

Lego Worlds is a new, inventive game from the creative minds at Traveller’s Tales Games, focusing on wholly original Lego products rater than the brands and liscences covered by Lego Dimensions. In this brand new adventure, you play as an explorer delving into the many planets containing dynamic and unique environments, from the days of the Caveman to beaches ruled by Pirates.

Gamers are encouraged to build whatever they can, wherever they want, as they go from planet to planet collecting bricks and items which can be used and abused at the person’s whim – wanted to shoot countless pigs into the sky to test that old saying? Well, just find a pig to unlock the figure, and you can fire  away with your Discovery tool to your heart’s delight. Additionally, completing quests will not only give you gold bricks to work your way to becoming a Master Builder, but also make the parts of the quest-giving figurine available for your own personal avatar.

Different planets give you access to a variety of biomes and quests, which in turn give you access to new parts and figurines to collect and use at your leisure. They will fit in with the theme of the specific world, so if you’re looking for a specific part then odds are it will be found in the associated world. You will discover hidden treasures in underground systems, a whole variety of creatures which can be ridden, as well as vehicles, props and weapons.

Additionally, all worlds are unique and randomly generated so no two words are the same – you will not encounter the same environment as your friends, or even in the same game. You won’t find the same items in the same place, so should you restart your game you won’t find the quest-specific item you need to find in that exact same spot as the previous time.

Lego Worlds is also a multiplayer experience, giving you the opportunity to play either split-screen or multiplayer. You can build and show off different creations, or play competitive challenges.

Finally, there is an in-game service called “Brick Build Showcase” which allows players to download new brick builds provided by the company on a weekly basis, such as a detailed medieval stone house or a gigantic model of an octopus grabbing a few clouds – which was donated by an Early Access user. The system will not be available at the time of launch, but the developers are working to complete it soon.

Overall, the game is an interesting direction to take considering Minecraft exists for free – in order to make it more appealing than the free (and already existing for many years) alternative, it appears that Lego Worlds appeals to the nostalgia of the generations who grew up before the time of Lego Star Wars and other liscenced sets – in fact, one of the developers has cited Lego Island as a key influence behind the focus on orginal Lego sets. It sets the game apart from the other Lego multi-world game Dimensions and to be honest it kind of appeals to me. The idea of building whatever I wanted did remind me of the Lego I collected and played with as a kid, making outlandish creations and having fun. And the idea of sharing those creations with others is great, and could really work in Lego Worlds favour once it gets implemented.

LEGO Worlds will finally see a release on PS4, Xbox One and Steam on March 10th. A Nintendo Switch version is in development but does not have a release date.

Elvira: Mistress of the HorrorCon

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There have been many icons of horror.  Stephen King, Vincent Price, Christopher Lee.  But there is one person whose massive talents eclipses them all: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.

Elvira, otherwise known as Cassandra Peterson, has been bouncing around our screens for over thirty-five years.  During that time Cassandra, as Elvira, has hosted countless horror film commentary shows, wrote and starred in Elvira: Mistress of the Dark and Elvira’s Haunted Hills, and has been translated into comic books and video games.  Cassandra was also once a Las Vegas dancer and went out on a date with Elvis Presley.

https://youtu.be/qsEy_DrUtqY

Unlike other horror film critics, Peterson has a genuine passion for horror – she bloody loves it.   Cassandra’s ardour for horror is such that she has previously revealed that Vincent Price would be her ideal date.  The fact Price has been dead for over twenty years is not a problem, as necromancy can deal with that.

As such, the UK’s premier horror convention HorrorConUK, has announced that Cassandra Peterson will be making a rare appearance in the UK at their next event on 13th and 14th May at the Magna near Sheffield.

Tickets are now on sale and can be ordered here:
https://www.ticketquarter.co.uk/Online/horrorcon-2017

Toy Odyssey: The Lost and Found (Review)

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Toy Odyssey is a new side-scrolling platformer in the vein of Metroid or Castlevania from indie developer Hiker Games. In it, you star as Brand, an action figure come to life who, with the help of other sentient toys, must save his owner Felix from the darkness that is currently residing in Felix’s house. Brand must uncover secrets to the house that can explain where the darkness is coming from, but he has to do it before the darkness consumes the house and everyone in it.

As Brand, you move your way through the different rooms of the house and complete missions while fighting rogue toys. You also collect items that can be used to upgrade Felix’s armour and weapons, as well as craft new items. You will also upgrade the Bedroom, the main hub that is also a safe haven in between lives (when you die, you are sent back there as a starting point). The upgrades in the Bedroom are similar to tower defense games in that everything you do protects the room from attacks, which can happen while you are out exploring the rest of the house. The attacks can result in losing collectibles and useful items, so it’s important to upgrade the space along with Brand himself.

The house itself is broken up into rooms you’d find in standard houses, but there is a catch: the map is randomly generated, and will only keep one specific layout for as long as you maintain your life. You die, the house resets and you have to start all over again. It’s a nice challenge if you’re into this kind of thing, but I found it incredibly frustrating. Some people like this style of game; as it turns out, I am not one of them.

The controlling at least is very easy. You have basic buttons for dodging, attacking and jumping, with movement controlled with thumbsticks. Prompts for things like entry ways and collectibles are all mapped to the Triangle button, with the prompts appearing whenever use of the button is available.

Music is cheerful and bubbly, sounding like it came straight out of a Disney movie. The graphics are bright and colourful. Nothing special, but they serve their purpose amicably. The voice-acting, however, is sub-par. Not surprising, given that the script is incredibly generic, with much of the dialogue feeling very stiff. It also doesn’t help that, when you have to replay certain parts of the game that involve dialogue, there is no quick skip option, meaning that when you die-which you will do. A lot-you have to listen to the same grating voices say the same cheesy dialogue over and over.

As for the story itself, going back to the Disney comparison, it feels like a Disney movie. In fact, it honestly feels like Toy Story. It’s not a bad story, but it’s generic and uninspired, one we’ve seen many times before. Also, while it would appeal to children, the difficulty level definitely leans towards adults, so I would say the appeal is limited.

While not a bad game on a whole, Toy Odyssey is nothing you’d go out of your way for when looking for a new game. It has some positives, but for me, the negatives carry more weight. Toy Odyssey is one toy you might be excited to take out of the box, but like many new toys, you might play with it once or twice before you get bored and need a new toy.