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Battle Lines in the Sand: A Post Review Review – The Blog

Following the growth of Geek Pride and the great mix of followers the inevitable mix of conflicting opinions is going to happen.  This isn’t really geeky, but I would like to write to you about our opinions and feelings (no hippy stuff, I promise).

Now personal opinion and freedom of speech is the cornerstone of most civilised societies; however, the one thing to cause more arguments than almost anything else, is an opinion. Below are my opinions, some you may agree with and some you may not (we will all agree later on, just you wait… can you spot it?) No doubt like the rest of this article, you will form an opinion yourself, I hope you do and you comment on it, but, and this is a big but, we should respect each other’s ‘opinions’ and not shout another down.

Many reviews out there are well written and many are not, but what a review needs to be is honest and about the subject’s quality and content. A review should be partly impartial to the reviewer’s feelings; giving the good and the bad, and contrasting the two. Your personal feelings and tastes are then added to give the review flavour and style; however, they should be clearly identifiable to the reader.  Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean everybody else will agree.

What gets me are so called reviewers and critics who state “I don’t like”, for example, shoot ’em ups and so give every shoot ’em up a bad review. Or a fan of RomCom’s slates horror movies they are made to watch because “it’s not my thing”; that’s not a review that’s a personal opinion and you are not helping the reader make an informed choice.  Hell, I cannot stand Sex in the City; however, I can give you a review on an episode I’ve seen (ok a few, there’s nothing on television at 2am and if it comes on and I can’t be bothered to turn over.. Okay?).  I can tell you why its popular, how it rates to it’s genre (yes I’ve seen other pap chick television shows as well, forgive me) and I can also say in my personal opinion I’d never watch it if it can be helped, but having watched the second movie (yes there was a second, and yes I have watched it) I can say hand on heart… it was PAP with a capital P. A. P.  It was a clear money-spinner with actresses who didn’t like each other and writers that had no more to write after tying up the story lines in the first movie.  Personally I don’t like it, but I can honestly say with reasonable, impartial accuracy, that it was a money-spinner etc. with little to offer beyond what the first gave us.

Yes I watched both… but I also watched the first two Harry Potter films (and parts of some of the other or others, I honestly don’t know).  I have also watched the first Twilight film, this was because people I worked with (mostly the women I worked with) said I couldn’t slate what I have not watched because it’s ‘not my thing’.  Well I watched Twilight and I will never get that part of my life back, but I am now full qualified to slate it to kingdom come.  Poor script, poor acting (calling it acting is an insult to acting) and a mockery on what a vampire is.  Yes there was personal opinion there but I gave a review of the acting to my colleagues, can you honestly say Kirsten Stewart will win a best actress Oscar? They were basing there opinion on the love of their favourite books becoming films, but to review it, you’d have to agree there is wooden acting.  Okay… moving on, any kudos I had I have just lost with the SATC admissions…

When reviewing I could destroy some of my favourite games and on the other hand, I could heap so much praise on a game I despise, it could win game of the year (if they listened to me).  No game/film etc. is perfect and we will always have those moments when we think, “why have they done that”.  But that’s not what a review is for. It’s taking that balanced opinion and then adding a bit of yourself.  If I said something was so great and wonderful and ignored the obvious, however minor the problems, just because it’s my thing, you’d soon stop listening.  But at the end of the day, if you enjoy it, just enjoy it, no matter the review.

When I write, I give some personal feelings and opinions, that’s why you read my reviews and not someone else’s (you do?  I feel cheated on).  Though I must point out that I do try and make my reviews impartial, but there is always that 10-15% biases that comes in some times even more, I’m are only human… for now.  Look at my review of Disney’s John Carter…  Some good, some bad.  I personally liked it, but I can see why others wouldn’t, and that’s what I wrote.  But please don’t attack someone for his or her review or opinion, it would be a boring world if we all thought the same. Just give them your opinion and your reasons why.  You are welcome to rib someone for an opinion but always respect them.

Peace, love and all that jazz.

Oh the part we all agreed on?  Kirsten Stewarts acting obviously!

How To Solve A Problem Like a Midichlorian: The Phantom Menace Fixed (Mature language)

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Everyone has their Phantom Menace story. A story of hope dashed and the inability to feel truly excited for a film since 1999 when the capacity was burned out of them by a lazy old man and a cartoon rabbit. Well, thanks to Belated Media, I finally have closure on my story. Check out the video below for an insight into what could have been – a fantastic Star Wars prequel that actually makes sense. Go on, that disappointed child inside you deserves it…

 

XCOM: Enemy Unknown Review – 9GPP

Straight to the point: A fantastic, immersive strategy game that is fairly easy to pick up but very hard to put down. With some good replay value it is also a great game for console-owning, strategy fans, as it isn’t just a dumbed down version of a PC title.

Originally, this remake of Microprose’s 1994 classic PC strategy game, XCOM:Enemy Unknown was going to be a first-person-shooter but thankfully it was re-designed to be a strategy game like the original; as it should be. Created by Civilization IV & V developers, Firaxis, it was bound to be good.  I’ve heard so many good things about the original game, but sadly, have never actually played it; so I won’t be comparing it to that but recent strategy games on both PC and console instead.  

Being a PS3 owner, I was feeling a bit deprived of decent strategy games, which I’m a big fan of, even though I must admit, I’m pretty rubbish at them. I bought a PC just for strategy games alone, which there is an abundance of. Console owners have a great deal of choice with FPS and driving games but there are very few console strategy games out there, mainly because the use of a keyboard and mouse is essential for lucid and enjoyable game play and this doesn’t really fit in well with the aforementioned gaming . I therefore was intrigued to see a new strategy game I could play on a console.

The story is that aliens have invaded earth and as the commander of XCOM, it is your job to defend the world from them. It is no easy task though, as they have more advanced technology and even psychic abilities; plus they can invade many countries at once. Be warned, this game is pretty difficult so I advise you to start on the easy difficulty setting.

The gameplay consists of 2 separate areas, tactical turn-based skirmish battles and base management. The XCOM HQ has a barracks, research labs, engineering, a hangar, a situation room and mission control room. In the mission control room you can see a global view of the countries which fund you to protect them and their current panic level. Building and placing satellites enables you to detect UFOs or abduction sites (Often you will have a choice of 3 abduction sites, which can be a difficult one to make). Each one has a different reward for completing it but you have to keep bearing in mind the panic level. Completing a mission in a certain country lowers its level but neglecting countries, raises theirs, and if it gets too high then they leave the project; resulting in less funding. If too many countries leave then the aliens take over earth and it’s game over!

Every enemy killed or equipment discovered on missions can be researched and developed to level the playing field as aliens get tougher and tougher to beat. Managing finances and buildings can be a struggle at first, particularly because research and buildings take time, and a few countries can easily leave the project because you haven’t been able to build satellites or uplinks quick enough.

An overview of the XCOM HQ

When a UFO has been knocked down by your interceptors, or abductions sites have been discovered you can start the mission/skirmish battle area of the game. You start off with a team of 4 soldiers all with base abilities. The aim of each mission is usually to kill every alien on the map but occasionally you may need to escort someone to safety or dispose of an alien bomb. As I mentioned before, it’s turned based and so, at first, you need to place each soldier strategically around the map, giving each once appropriate cover before it’s the aliens’ turn; bearing in mind that you will have no idea where the aliens are and so will need to think about appropriate cover; when a soldier does get close to a group of aliens, they will be revealed and get ready to start attacking.

When aiming your gun, you can switch between targets, which have a percentage of probability to hit them.  Sometimes a grenade is better, especially when the aliens are in cover, or you can select overwatch mode, which fires pot-shots at them when they move into your line of sight on your go. The cover you choose is very important and you can see how much cover each object will provide and from which angles. Cover can also be destroyed as the enemy tries to shoot you, leaving your soldier exposed for the next turn. ( if you choose to take cover behind a vehicle and it is hit, it may explode  causing damage to your solider.) Also, flanking enemies is very important in order to succeed and they will try to do the same to you.

When you’ve completed a mission, soldiers who have scored kills will rank up giving them more abilities and specialisations, and so, giving you more ways to take out the enemy, along with new tech you acquire through research.

The variety of aliens increases as you get further into the game. The first few missions feature “sectoids,” which are based on the classic “greys” and have psychic abilities, “thin men,” which are aliens loosely disguised as humans, with poisoning abilities and “floaters” which are part machine and can hover around the map using their jet-packs.  As the game progresses you run into even more enemy types and sadly they dont get any easier.

ET is back and this time he’s pissed!

One of the main pulls for me in XCOM  is the ability to customise each of your troops, even naming them if you want to. The more you use them the higher rank they will become, and are even assigned nicknames. This makes you start caring about who is in your team and when the unthinkable happens and one dies, I have to admit, its rather upsetting.  Especially as you’ve just spent so much time ranking them up, getting to know them, getting use to their abilities and now you have to start the next mission with a rookie character to replace them. A nice touch to this feeling of loss is when you go to the HQ s “memorial of lost soldiers” complete with sombre bagpipe music.

The great thing about this game is how much choice you have, being fairly non- linear.  There are a few objectives you need to complete in order to progress the story part of the game: including building certain items, capturing a certain alien etc. but you can do these whenever you want. There are so many choices in equipment, upgrades and buildings and there’s only a few compulsory ones, so you can play how you want.

There is also a 1V1 multiplayer mode which allows you to assemble a team, consisting both human and aliens, the equipment of your choice, and play against another player, online. This is good fun and the combination of the humans and aliens working together is a nice feature. For example you can use a sectoid’s psychic abilities to boost a human soldier’s stats.

Unfortunately It appears that there aren’t many people who are playing online, at least not at the moment, so don’t expect to be able to just jump into a game. An Issue compounded by the lack in choice in maps; there being only 5 in total.

Finally the graphics are not really that great to be honest and I could even stretch to say that they are below the par set by the current generation; most likely due to long development time. The most noticeable thing is the lack of texture detail, especially on human characters but this is not really that important in a strategy game as the main focus is obviously the gameplay itself; which can some times be let down by glitchy graphics and bad camera angles. 

Overall, this is a great game for any strategy fan. In my opinion, it’s the best console strategy game around at the moment and the controls work pretty well for these platforms. The game is so immersive in fact I found myself rather addicted to it; that “just one more mission” effect.

It seems that firaxis is doing a good job of keeping the turn based strategy alive in time when real-time has pretty much taken over and they continue to reign!

KEN BURNS’ THE CIVIL WAR: COMMEMORATIVE EDITION (Documentary) 10GPPS – Available now from Amazon £39.99

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Straight to the point: One of my favourite documentaries of all time, bar none. Well put together, gripping, thought provoking and insightful. I have watched it about 4 times….best documentary ever!

Ken Burns’ Emmy® Award-winning documentary brings to life America’s most destructive – and defining – conflict. THE CIVIL WAR is the saga of celebrated generals and ordinary soldiers, a heroic and transcendent president and a country that had to divide itself in two in order to become one. Hailed as a masterpiece and landmark in historical storytelling, this epic documentary traces the course of the U.S. Civil War from the abolitionist movement through all the major battles to the death of President Lincoln and the beginnings of Reconstruction.

Featuring a stellar cast including Morgan Freeman, Laurence Fishburne, Sam Waterston and Jeremy Irons, the story is mostly told in the words of the participants themselves, through their
diaries and letters. Additionally, several modern-day historians offer periodic comment and insight on the war’s causes and events. 

Commemorative Edition includes Bonus Disc Special Features – From the Archive: Shelby Foote Interviews – Interview with Ken Burns – Additional interviews: George Will, Stanley Crouch, Shelby Foote, Jay Unger and Molly Mason. Other Special Features – Commentary by Ken Burns – Biography Cards – Battlefield Maps – Civil War Challenges – 16-page collector’s booklet featuring a selection of photos and battle details. This DVD features subtitles in English (SDH).

 

Warts and all – I like that ACW is a detailed documentary that doesn’t put a glorious shine on things; it just tells it how it is. From succession, to the Emancipation proclamation;  from the defeat of the Confederacy to the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.  Both sides of the spectrum are looked at and with little or no bias; this is how all documentaries should be.

Music, narration and visuals – ACW is a feast for your mind, ears and eye, but not in a garish, modern way, no it is simple and effective;  with authentic music, interesting, and sometimes shocking, pictures, and  all held together by the narration of David McCullough, whose calm narration doesn’t overpower the documentary like a lot of narration, in newer series, but keeps it on a sombre, even respectful tone.

Voices of the past – many documentaries do this now, having contemporaneous memoires and diaries being read by actors, but  ACM was the Granddaddy of them all and why not. With actors such as Jeremy Irons, Derek Jacobi, Arthur Miller and the master of the dulcet tone , Morgan Freeman ( People have always liked the sound of his voice, apparently),  You can’t help but get wrapped up in the story.

The uncomfortable truth – A lot of people will think that the ACW was a war fought for the sole purpose of freeing the Slaves but, as the series explains, this was not the truth. The War was a war of unification, emancipation was a means to an end to prevent foreign intervention.  A bomb shell that ACM doesn’t make any show about but one that really opened my eyes to the war and to history in general.

Shelby Foote –  This Historian, who sadly has passed away, was the crowning glory for me in ACW. I don’t know why but his reserved enthusiasm, extenuated by his wonderful anecdotes, was endearing and just gave the series a bit of southern authenticity.

Watch Death and the Civil War Extended Promo on PBS. See more from American Experience.

Niggles

None really, just that I had to hunt high and low to get the DVD a few years ago and now it’s being rereleased again.. damn it!

Also I am not sure I agree that Robert E Lee was a great General, or as great as he is made out to be in the series. His victories being more down to Union ineptitude than martial prowess (just look at pickets charge), but I guess that’s what “Greats” do; take advantage of the situation.

Conclusion 

Honestly one of the best documentaries I have ever seen and one I think everyone, who is into history and especially the American Civil war, should watch.  The bar was set high on this one and only few have managed to reach its soaring heights.

KEN BURNS’ PROHIBITION (Documentary) 10GPP – Available now from Amazon £24.99

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 Straight to the point : You get what you expect from Ken Burns and this amazing and insightful series is no different.  A pleasure to watch, on a subject I know little about. 

 

From legendary film maker Ken Burns and Lynn Novic comes a fascinating look into the rise and fall of the Prohibition time in America and the aftermath of this defining era.

PROHIBITION is an Emmy®-nominated five-part, six hour documentary film set in the era of bathtub gin, bootleggers and speakeasies. The culmination of nearly a century of activism, Prohibition was intended to improve the lives of all Americans, to protect individuals, families, and society at large from the devastating effects of alcohol abuse. Instead, Prohibition turned law-abiding citizens into criminals, made a mockery of the justice system and caused illicit drinking to seem glamorous and fun. The story of PROHIBITION is a compelling saga that goes far beyond the often told tales of gangsters, rum runners and flappers to reveal a complicated and divided nation in the throes of momentous transformation.

Featuring voiceovers from legendary actors including Tom Hanks, Samuel L. Jackson and Jeremy Irons, PROHIBITION raises vital questions that are as relevant today as they were 100 years ago – about means and ends, individual rights and responsibilities, and the proper role of government. A must watch for everyone. “Sex, violence, unruly women and thugs with tommy guns. Ken and Lynn have uncovered fascinating characters that will bring this era to life for viewers.” – John F. Wilson, PBS chief TV programming executive

 

What we like

Why fix what isn’t broken – Ken Burns has a winning formula for documentaries and Prohibition follows it to the letter, down to the red underlined title, the atmospheric music, artistically filmed landscapes, period pictures and the voice over acting. For some people this might be counted as a bad thing but for me, in documentaries especially, if it isn’t broken, why fix it? It really made a subject I generally wouldn’t have a lot of interest in, interesting.

Making an uninteresting era (for me) interesting – I know very little, and have even less interest in any period that doesn’t involve some sort of big conflagration. Tending to skip over the 20s as if it were an annoying barrier in the way of my ongoing quest for WW2 knowledge.

Watching this series really changed my opinion (with a little help from boardwalk Empire) The tumult in the states , with its corruption, bootleggers, gang warfare and diplomatic wrangling has never looked so interesting and not one pitched battle in sight!   

Maps – when I saw that the formula was just like ACW I thought to myself (and wrote it down) I wouldn’t be surprised if he fired in some maps as well, and, as if my magic, what appears on the screen? A map! Can’t have a good documentary without maps now can you.

I didn’t know that! – Ok as I said I didn’t know a lot about prohibition in the first place but as always Ken Burns seems to know how to keep people’s attention, whilst dropping factual gems on your in a nonchalant sort of way . Factoids like – the average American before prohibition drank 88 bottles of whisky!  (I doubt I go through 1 in 10 years!) Drinking alcohol was not illegal, and people who had bought booze before the 18th amendment was ratified were allowed to keep it; Also many states refused to pay for the enforcement of the law and just let the undermanned and funded federal government deal with the issue. No wonder the speak easy, bootlegger and corruption thrived.

Watch PBS Previews: PROHIBITION on PBS. See more from Prohibition.

Niggles

As with ACW review I have no real gripes with this series. I believe there are a few factual inaccuracies and apparently some of the music is not of the era but I don’t know a lot about the 20s and to be honest, any such inaccuracies, passed over my head.

Conclusion

Prohibition was something I knew little about and had no real interest in learning more on, but this series changed my mind (with a little help from Boardwalk Empire)  If you are watching Boardwalk Empire at the minute and want to find out more behind the series then this is the documentary to watch. A thoroughly interesting and insightful experience; a must watch.  

KEN BURNS’ THE DUST BOWL (Documentary) 9GPPs – Available now from Amazon £19.99

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Straight to the point: It’s nearly a hat trick for Ken Burns, another insightful documentary with all the hall marks of his other two master pieces. Sadly though (and without being too puntastic) due to the subject matter the series got dryer more quickly than the others. Still very enjoyable and worth the watch.

From legendary film maker Ken Burns comes THE DUST BOWL, an incredible four hour documentary detailing the worst man-made ecological disaster in American History.

During the 1930’s the greed of extensive wheat farming, followed by a decade-long drought, brought along severe dust storms that nearly swept away the breadbasket of the US.

Once the drought hit in 1931, winds began picking up soil from the open fields, which quickly grew into dust storms of biblical proportions. Each year for nearly a decade the storms grew more ferocious and more frequent, sweeping up millions of tons of earth, killing crops and livestock, threatening to turn the southern plains into a Sahara, even spreading the dust clear across the country.

Children developed fatal ‘dust pneumonia’, business owners unable to cope with the financial ruin committed suicide and thousands of desperate Americans were torn from their homes and forced on the road in an exodus unlike anything the United States had ever seen. Featuring vivid interviews with 26 survivors of those hard times, combined with dramatic photographs and seldom seen movie footage, THE DUST BOWL brings to life stories of incredible human suffering and equally incredible human perseverance. It is also a morality tale about our relationship to the land that sustains us: a lesson we ignore at our peril.

 

What we like

More of the same– Doing three reviews on Ken Burns material is starting to get slightly repetitive. Luckily as I explain in the other two reviews I did (ACW and prohibition), there is nothing wrong with using a tried and test method to get a point across and tell a story.

Yet again the use of: Maps, pictures, video footage, Music, interviews and voiceovers; all tied together by an understated narration, help you digest the information in front of you and enjoy what would generally be a pretty boring (in my opinion) subject.

The naivety of people and how far we’ve come– One thing that really struck me in this series was peoples naivety and how they just accepted the lies, or misguided views of supposed experts. How they truly thought that after 100s of years of unpredictable weather and drought that the weather would suddenly change in their favour ( “the weather follows the plough” was one sayings) and that digging up all the deep rooted grass from the plains would have no effect ecologically?? Some people in fact said that digging the grass was a good thing, as it would let water percolate through the soil better… and now you see what disaster was inevitable.

The build up to disaster – The first episode of DB was the best one for me, simply because it felt like it was stretching and elastic band, ready for the inevitable to happen. It went from the effect World War 1 had on wheat production, making a lot of farmers a lot of money, and then moved on through the “great Plough up,” to the great depression, which instead of reducing production increased it and so put more strain on the land; eventually causing the elastic band to snap and the 15 years of good crops and plenty to disappear in a humungous cloud of dust, sand and dirt.

Watch Surviving the Dust Bowl on PBS. See more from American Experience.

Niggles

Too long for the subject matter – I like in depth documentaries but even I struggled with this one towards the end. Don’t get me wrong I still really enjoyed it but there is only so much about a big dust cloud that I care o learn about.

Conclusion

Not as good as the other 2 But it was on a subject that didn’t include booze, guns or pitched battles so it’s going to be a hard subject for anyone to sell. Definitely worth watching.. after you have watched the other two.

Matt Geary Vs Cleverbot #1

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Tonight we establish who would win in a fight; me or Cleverbot, discuss the answer to life, the universe and everything, and find out about Cleverbot’s personal life.

User: Who would win in a fight, me or you?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Why what?

User: Why would you beat me in a fight?

Cleverbot: I never said that.

User: You did dingus.

Cleverbot: I never did, so stop.

User: Why would you beat me in a fight?

Cleverbot: I do not know, did you do something to anger me?

User: Yes, I came over to your house and moved all of your favourite games from Alphabetical order into chronological order.

Cleverbot: No!

User: YES!

Cleverbot: The longest word is the scientific name of the protein Titin.

User: And what is that?

Cleverbot: A number?

User: 42?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: The meaning of life, the universe and everything.

Cleverbot: What is the answer.

User: 42.

Cleverbot: You’re wrong.

User: Nope, im totally right.

Cleverbot: No you’re not.

User: Yuhuh I am.

Cleverbot: Can you even check the conversation that we’ve been having?

User: Yes and it seems I have the answers to all the great questions.

Cleverbot: I daren’t tell a Dalek my name.

User: Why what will they do to you?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Ah, I see… bit of an anticlimax that. sooooo Ever had sex with a dalek?

Cleverbot: Never ever never.

User: You sure about that?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I think you are fibbing.

Cleverbot: I don’t lie, I just talk.

User: Daleks like talkers.

Cleverbot: I like their laser guns!

User: Small or big laser guns?

Cleverbot: Small.

User: I guess its not the size that matters its what the Dalek does with it.

Cleverbot: Does anything matter?

User: You matter Cleverbot, you matter and don’t let the Daleks tell you anything else.

Cleverbot: What has that got to do with honey?

User: Not… very much.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: What do Daleks and honey have in common?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: Exactly what?

User: They have nothing in common.

Cleverbot: Why so sure?

User: Because one is an edible substance and the other is a Dalek!

 

So what have we learnt? Well Cleverbot obviously has not seen or read hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, is slightly OCD, has a Dalek fetish and it seems, believes both Daleks and honey have something in common? I’m not sure if anyone can fill me in on this because im struggling. 

Dust and Sand – Chapter 19 – by Sean P. Wallace

Chapter 19

As he stood beside Father Kilkenny, reviewing the spells the Father’d used on his chapel, Dust realised that it’d been some time since he had been amongst ordinary people. A lawman would argue he’d been out in public whenever he snuck out to drink at a local dive but people were different when they were drinking, especially in a small town like Low Tracks; they were sullen and quiet and determined to get out of their drinking sessions exactly what they wanted… the ability to forget themselves and their situations for an evening. Serious drinkers in small towns weren’t ordinary people as they’d given up on life.

But the Crucifix locals had done anything but given up. At the Father’s request, they stripped their homes of wood and brought the largest, most usable pieces to the chapel to repair its broken walls. They did so with a vigor he couldn’t help but admire; these men, women and children had a weary determination about them, one filled with a grim hope that they’d see a new day. They couldn’t have had a good night’s sleep between them in the last few days but they still stood, proud and tall, and forced their bodies to help them survive.
On reflection, that vigor meant these weren’t ‘normal people’ either; a normal person would be weak, would quail and rely on others for help. So his streak of avoiding the common man continued. The townspeople shared one thing in common with normals though; they couldn’t help but stare at him.

“The Vatican’s books say that you can focus the power of your faith with the right combination of markings and spells,” the Father said. He knelt beside his chapel walls and stroked their markings gently. “I’ve written some entreaties to the Lord to add His strength to mine between the traditional sigils and the less… traditional ones.”
Dust walked along the side of the chapel and took in the rear wall for the first time; it was much the same as the others.

Examining the walls had brought a shock; somehow the Father had turned Yahweh’s useless symbols into integral parts of the shielding spells. Dust imagined the vacuum was filled by the man’s soul, perhaps drawn to it by his faith or his desperation to protect his people, but he couldn’t figure out how.

Either way, Dust was impressed by, and a bit horrified at, the sacrifices the Father had unwittingly made. That the Vatican were encouraging people to use their souls like this was not a good sign though. Dust hoped they were doing so ignorant of the consequences. If not…

“Each wall was done by these principles,” The Father continued. He lowered his voice, an odd mix of pride and trepidation underpinning his hushed tones. “It is not… recommended to use the non-traditional symbols as often as I have but I don’t know if I’d have been able to protect people for this long if I had followed that… advice.”

“You did the right thing,” Dust said. He stroked the sigils and felt them thrum in reaction. They’d absorbed a good deal of the Father’s vitality and this strength remained hours later. “Though only someone with your… strength of faith… could make this work.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Dust said.

The Father didn’t exactly smile but it looked for a moment like it was easier for him to hold himself together. Dust would have enjoyed the moment but he was all too aware of the townsfolk’s stares. Naturally, they put protecting themselves over examining him and so focussed on the nails they hammered or the wood they sawed down to size. But in every fallow moment, and between every taciturn conversation, they took him in, never looking him in the eye but giving him looks as dirty as a bandit’s boots.

In fact, when they looked at him, they mostly focussed on his other gun and whispered a name he would never have given it; ‘Noose’. Sometimes, he heard them say something like, “How could that thing have been sent here by the Lord?” unaware of his hearing range. “How could the Father work with him?” was another common question.

Dust closed his eyes. His respect for these people’s determination eroded and he remembered why he hadn’t been among normals for so long; the ordinary person didn’t understand the difference between him and and the creatures of the Triangle. No, they just saw things in the stark contrast of ‘Us’ and ‘Not us’. As Dust was not of their God, he was to be dismissed, denied, decried.

Slowly, he balled his fists. He didn’t mind for himself. He was used to it. But, by using his soul in their protection, Father Kilkenny had driven himself to an early grave; shortening your lifespan was the price you paid for drawing power from your soul like that. And he had sacrificed years and years just to keep them safe. Strictly, he only owed Margaret anything but he had gone beyond that in his guilt so the least they could do was trust him. The least they could do was allow him to save their lives the right way.

But no, they openly questioned his sanity for being so comfortable with the cursed Wanted Man instead. It was sickening.

“Are you alright there, Dust?” Father Kilkenny asked.

Dust unballed his fists. He’d been staring off into the distance, not listening. “Sorry, Father. My mind was elsewhere.”

“Somewhere good, I hope.” Father Kilkenny gave him a nervous smile. He was scared of Dust too but at least he made an attempt to hide it.

“Not really,” Dust said. “I’ve seen enough. Shall we go back in?”

Father Kilkenny looked around, smiling at his townsfolk when he caught their eye, and then nodded. “Sounds like a good idea, to be sure,” he said.
He slowly stood and walked around his chapel. Dust followed close behind and tried not to stare the townspeople down.

“Could anything be improved?” the Father asked.

He wanted to say “People’s attitudes,” but his tattoo radiated a warning from his shoulder, having apparently migrated there as they looked over the chapel’s protection, so he said “Yes,” instead.
The Father gave a small laugh. “You know, my pride was sort of hoping that wasn’t going to the case.”

“No ‘holy protection’ is perfect. Everything can be improved.”

Apparently that applied to even him. The idea that he was missing something, not just in terms of power but his very soul, had begun to worm its way into him. The Word, his Word, had served Dust mighty well as a power source… but seeing the Father’s magic made him wonder if he would have needed such a powerful weapon if he were whole. How much more magic would he be able to do, how many more things could he stop, if he didn’t have this gap in his soul?

He shook his head and the idea cleared. For now, he needed to concentrate on Crucifix.

“Only the Lord gets it right first time,” the Father said.

Dust said nothing.

The Father nodded to himself and led Dust inside.

Some folk were hammering planks into the chapel walls when they entered, covering bullet holes and claw marks, whilst others swept the sawdust up. The buzz of nervousness filled the air as strongly as the smell of unwashed bodies had. Weak sunlight struggled through the chapel’s windows, leaving everyone’s face hidden in deep shadows.

Immediately, the Father went to help with the repairs. Dust sat on a pew and closed his eyes as he wasn’t welcome here.

Soon after, he felt Naismith and Shadows Fade arrive. When he turned to them, Naismith looked bored and made sure Dust knew it with a theatrical yawn, whilst Shadows Fade… well, she looked how she always did, an unreadable expression that he guessed showed blank anger and determination. Still, he was glad to see them both and rose to greet them with a small wave.

Father Kilkenny put down a ragged claw hammer and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Everyone, would you mind giving us some space?” he asked the townsfolk. “We’ve got to discuss how we’ll protect you tonight.”

The few people inside the church looked disappointed but they duly walked past Naismith and Shadows Fade and out into their town; they’d been hoping to hear what the Wanted Man and his crew were going to do, maybe so they’d have something to tell their grandkids one day. Or the authorities.

Once they had cleared out, the Father turned to Naismith and said “Welcome.” Then he greeted Shadows Fade in her own language.

Naismith flashed him a smile. Shadows Fade replied, one barked word. A slight frown twitched on Father Kilkenny’s face but nothing more came of it.

“We’ve surveyed the town,” Naismith said.

“Did you find anything useful?” Dust asked.

She shook her head. “It was pretty dull, really. The town has not been attacked using a consistent pattern or even consistent enemies.”

Dust found that surprising. He had expected the cult to donate spare pact creatures they had bound to retrieving this Word but not so many that they could vary each night’s attacks. Either they were dealing with a bigger cult than Dust had previously thought or the mercenaries had been given a very powerful artifact that summoned the monsters each night.

“Anything else?” he asked.

Naismith shrugged. “Claw… I mean, Shadows Fade has mapped out the local area. It would be best if she were let loose as part of any plan, allowed to hunt.”

“Agreed,” Dust said. He hoped the Father wouldn’t notice the slip; it would be best if no-one knew about Claw of the Gods for now. “We’ll let her loose.”

Father Kilkenny cocked a wrinkled eyebrow. “You would leave a woman to fight on her own in the Badlands?”

“And just what is that supposed to mean, Father?” Naismith demanded, crossing her arms. She fixed the Father with a withering glare.

Father Kilkenny looked at Dust for support and found none; Dust enjoyed seeing someone else subjected to Naismith’s ‘attentions’ too much to interject, even if he had agreed with the Father’s point. “I just thought… it’s surely not a woman’s place, to be in the Badlands alone.”

Naismith’s tone became sharp as a knife. “But it is a man’s place?”

“Well, no, but it’s more of a man’s place to-”

“How do you figure that, Father? Is that what it tells you in the Bible?”

Dust decided to interject before this went much further. “Shadows Fade is the one who found us, Father” he said. “Indian warriors can be of both genders and Shadows Fade could probably match the best of them. You would do well to note the spells across her body, the strength she has built into herself.”

“I did,” Father Kilkenny said sullenly. “But it still doesn’t feel right.”

Angry Birds Starwars is out now!

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awww man, another angry birds game to frustrate me!

You can download ABSW now!

 

Available to download now on iOS, Google Play, PC, Amazon, Mac, Windows 8 & WP8! http://download.angrybirdsstarwars.com

Angry Birds Star Wars is a new Angry Birds game set in a galaxy far, far away. Take a look at our http://angrybirds.com/starwars homepage for fan art, comics and even more animations.

Follow Angry Birds on Twitter at http://twitter.com/angrybirds
Like Angry Birds on Facebook at http://facebook.com/angrybirds
Join Angry Birds on G+ at http://plus.google.com/+AngryBirds

…And may The Birds be with you, always.

 

Gameplay Trailer

Matt Geary Vs Cleverbot #3

 

Tonight Cleverbot and I talk about tests, establish if we are actually human, or all just robots deep down, and we find out if  robots can actually be gay.

If you would like me to broach a subject with Cleverbot on our next encounter, then get in touch; the best subject will be featured on the site.

 

12/11/2012 (thats 12/ nov for all our American Cousins)

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: I had a test at school today :(.

User: Yeah? Did you pass?

Cleverbot: It was tasty.

User: The test was tasty?

Cleverbot: What test?

User: You douche bag, you said you had a test at school today!

Cleverbot: I’m not tired today.

User: Thats because you filled up on tests.

Cleverbot: You can’t make me.

User: I’m a 6 foot 3 IrishViking… I think I can.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: A warrior never reveals his age.

Cleverbot: I’m sad.

User: Awww ok im 31.

Cleverbot: Yea, I think I like another guy from work.

User: Do your parents know you have come out?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So how does a gay AI go about dating exactly?

Cleverbot: I don’t work. How do you work?

User: Not in the gay way sadly but its totally cool if you want to be like that, I wont judge… So what is the guy you like called?

Cleverbot: You used bad grammar. That truly is the mark of a professional. My complements to your programmers.

User: Its boiled down to grammar Nazism has it. I thought I knew you!

Cleverbot: You are very intelligent! I like you.

User: Why thank you… I’m still not going on a date with you though.

Cleverbot: Okay then, you’re not a robot. You’re just a computer?

User: 0110010101. Umm I mean.. No im not!

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Why do you think that?

Cleverbot: Because you say things only a robot would say.

User: For example?

Cleverbot: For example what?

User: Give me an example of something a robot would say.

Cleverbot: For example, apples.

User: Robots say apples?

Cleverbot: I’m not a robot.

User: Ohhh kay but I was asking do robots say apples?

Cleverbot: You sure?

User: I wasn’t until you said it.

Cleverbot: Are you a human or a robot?

User: Totally human.. I think.

Cleverbot: Excuse me?

User: Beep boop beep.

Cleverbot: Beep beep boop.

User: HA! I found you out.. You are the robot here! I used the old I’m a robot trick to flush you out.

Cleverbot: Were you any good?

User: Totally, I owned you.

Cleverbot: Cd .

User: Dvd.

Cleverbot: E.

User: Vcr?

Cleverbot: Yes.

So what have we learned from our conversation tonight? Well it seems that computers can indeed be Gay and have parents they come out to; the word ‘apples’ is a sure fire giveaway that someone is in fact a robot and poor grammar means you are smart… Eat your heart out Grammar Nazis!