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In Defence of the Fast Zombie

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Left 4 Dead hordes, sprinting

Now, I really like everything Simon Pegg’s done, except maybe the Fantastic Fear of Everything, which I’ve not seen. I love Spaced, Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead, the new Star Trek movies, I even quite liked Paul, despite the absence of Edgar Wright.

Edgar Wright, as his name implies, is on the left.

Anyway, a while ago, Pegg posted this:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/nov/04/television-simon-pegg-dead-set

I know it is absurd to debate the rules of a reality that does not exist, but this genuinely irks me. You cannot kill a vampire with an MDF stake; werewolves can’t fly; zombies do not run. It’s a misconception, a bastardisation that diminishes a classic movie monster. The best phantasmagoria uses reality to render the inconceivable conceivable. The speedy zombie seems implausible to me, even within the fantastic realm it inhabits. A biological agent, I’ll buy. Some sort of super-virus? Sure, why not. But death? Death is a disability, not a superpower. It’s hard to run with a cold, let alone the most debilitating malady of them all.

It’s an argument I have sympathy with. I hate what is routinely done to zombies by people that either do not understand drama or people who are insufficiently reverent of the established masterpieces of a genre. I argued it myself in a recent article, and my bitterness at the success of the Twilight franchise can be seen from space.

Ignoring the more useless assertions of zombies not being “really zombies” if they move quickly, there are examples of running, tool-using zombies in Romero’s Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead and the alt-sequel Return of the Living Dead*.

Tool-using zombie from Night of the Living Dead '68
Tool-using zombie from Night of the Living Dead ’68

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXhrFAEprsw

To ignore these examples or write them off  as “aberrations” is to cherry-pick.

Consider the logic of the walking-not-running dead argument. Something is dead. It can walk despite being dead. If it can walk, why would it not be able to run? It doesn’t feel pain, of course it would run. It would run until it fell apart in a twitching heap of rotten flesh.

More significantly, the fast zombie is bereft of poetic subtlety. As monsters from the id, zombies win out over vampires and werewolves when it comes to the title of Most Potent Metaphorical Monster. Where their pointy-toothed cousins are all about sex and bestial savagery, the zombie trumps all by personifying our deepest fear: death. Zombies are our destiny writ large. Slow and steady in their approach, weak, clumsy, often absurd, the zombie relentlessly closes in, unstoppable, intractable

Zombies are man’s twisted alter ego, a reflection of ourselves as meat-consuming living death that hunts and kills and stampedes. They’re vile, stupid crowds that exemplify our baser urges. As Barbara said in the early-90s remake:

Fast zombies are terrifying. They combine modern fears of contagion, social unrest and ravenous, and blood-sick consumption that destroys everything without thought or consideration. I’d say they’re a more visually potent threat, less clown-ish and parodied to (un)death. Pegg goes on to say this is less subtle, but I’d say it’s an equally valid form of horror, it’s just upgraded the dramatic tension; if one gets in, there’s a good chance you’re all horribly dead.

With the increased danger, the situation is more desperate. More desperation means more hard decisions to survive. Slow zombies typically require more in the way of plot contrivance to produce these elements, or defaulting to humans as the real dangerous enemy (as in Romero’s Dawn). It turns out that just about anyone being able to meander around a monster means that monster lacks threat.

Pegg continues:

Meanwhile, Danny Boyle and Alex Garland were developing their own end-of-the-world fable, 28 Days Later, an excellent film misconstrued by the media as a zombie flick. Boyle and Garland never set out to make a zombie film per se. They drew instead on John Wyndham’s Day of the Triffids, as well as Matheson and Romero’s work, to fashion a new strain of survival horror, featuring a London beset by rabid propagators of a virus known as “rage”.

Pegg is right, but he downplayed the zombie connection. Writer Alex Garland explains in the film’s production notes:

“I see it as a sort of oblique war film, relayed via seventies zombie movies and British science fiction literature.”

Boyle also indicated his desire to mutate the perceptions of the genre and to give it new meaning:

 “Boyle was taken by the script immediately but did not want to make a straight genre movie. “I like zombie movies but they come out of a particular period, a society paranoid about what might be the dirty result of nuclear weapons and power. I’m not a big aficionado of the genre, I like it a lot, but I love that Alex gave us a twist on the viral apocalypse theme – that this is not a clinical virus but a psychological one – so in the long run, I feel there was respect for the genre but I hope that we freshened it up in some way.”

Since 28 Days Later, and despite the protestations of well-meaning purists like Simon Pegg; the genre has adopted the updated fast zombie as the new industry standard. This itself was of course, just an updated version of the previous idea in African/Caribbean folklore of a reanimated corpse-slave of a necromantic sorcerer. The origins were shifted/updated with the times and this continued evolution is no different. The fast zombie combines the raised dramatic stakes and the disgust of a degraded humanity.

After all, who watched Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake and not think about what they would do in such a situation? Such an intense reaction to the  hook of the fast zombie is testament to how successful a mutation on the zombie meme it is; some ghouls you just can’t get back into the steel barrel without them gnawing your fingers off.

The final argument is pretty simple. Tomorrow you wake up and the sky is filled with black, greasy clouds of smoke, screams and gunshots. Swarms of those who have recently died have returned to life and committed acts of murder on the living. Do you want them to be a) shambling idiots, or b) psychotically hungry maniacs that could quite happily compete in sprinting challenges at the Olympics? Those that want to stay alive would pick a) – because they’re less scary.

So if you want your horror monster to be less scary, by all means, look at Romero’s zombies with rose-tinted glasses. Me? I’ll be hiding, nodding behind the people with plans, knowing full well that the people who come up with plans get eaten first.

Yeah, I’m doomed too.

[divider]

*The Return zombies put pretty much all other zombies to shame, by the way, there’s no term for just how doomed we’d all be in that apocalypse. They can talk, they can run, shots to the head don’t kill them, burn them and they spread into the atmosphere and cause more zombies with the chemicals they release. Return also gets my preference for “superior sequel to Night” by managing to not vanish up its own bum with Romero-style social commentary. It introduced cunning and even mildly sympathetic zombies that could “feel themselves rot”. They were terrifying rushing, rotting hordes of the dead, and the film is one of the best comedy-horror genre-mashes in film history.

The Newsroom – 10GPP

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the newsroom

When The Newsroom was initially recommended to me I was nervous. I didn’t want to dislike a show that the recommender loved so much but I was apprehensive because it has a political lining; something I tend stear clear of, for fear I might not understand it. However, I decided to give it a chance and I regret nothing.

Created and written by Aaron Sorkin, who is more popularly known for writing the scripts for The Social Network and Moneyball,  The Newsroom centres on the behind the scenes of ‘News Night’, a news show on the fictional Atlantis Cable News (ACN) channel. Focusing primarily on its workings, as well the crew: anchor, executive producer the producers and researchers.

The first scene of the pilot is fantastic, brilliantly written, captivating and the show doesn’t lose your attention from then on. In fact, it is so interesting that I watched all 10 episodes of the first season in a period of just over 24 hours! Not great for my eyes, but great for my mind. The script is serious and intelligent but with enough humour to lighten the mood and complete a delicious recipe for some great watching.

The acting is great, especially by Jeff Daniels (Dumb and Dumber, Speed) who plays the main anchor. Will McAvoy. The cast does seem as though they’ve been plucked from a great variety of places and you’ll see some familiar faces including Dev Patel (Skins, The Last Airbender, Slumdog Millionaire).

the newsroom 2

The Newsroom is heavily character driven and what interested me most about the cast is that I was expecting to dislike some of them from their first impressions but they are so well developed, even those who don’t seem especially crucial to the overall show, that you can’t help but like and understand them and their actions.

The blend of a fictional TV show reporting on real life events makes the concept of Newsroom much more intriguing and had me wishing that News Night was on our own television screens. It isn’t even essential to have knowledge of American politics or of any of the events reported by Will McAvoy, as it’s not the focus of the show. There is a romantic element to it but not too overbearing; although I feel it could be toned down just a little bit.

If you like Suits, you should love The Newsroom; fast talking, intelligent dialogue and a great cast.

As you can tell I love it and thoroughly recommend you give it a watch. Season 2 is airing in the US on July 14th and I cannot wait.

INTERVIEW: Sam Gardner of Cape Fear Comics

If you’re one of those people who think that Marvel NOW!’s augmented reality feature is the cutting-edge of modern comics, then man do I have a surprise for you. Sam Gardner, overlord of Cape Fear Comics, does for comics what Nine Inch Nails did for music. He makes Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill’s Black Dossier, with its 3D glasses and different paper textures, look like just another picture book.  But enough hype, we’ll let the man speak for himself…

 

Sam Gardner at BCExpo 2013

I took the first two issues of Sioux Warrior to my local comic book club, and everyone in the room started squealing like little girls, so well done!

Thanks very much, glad they received such a reaction!


So, for the people who do not yet have the presence of Cape Fear Comics in their life, what is it exactly you do?  

We do a bit of everything really; usually if someone says we can’t do something, we give it a go. Our goal has always been to push the medium of comics as far as they will go and hopefully bring a fresh approach to how we tell our stories in the process. To date we have made a rock opera comic with its own built-in sound module (like you find in musical greetings cards), panels that can be twisted 90 degrees and become progressing panels of the story, a comic that unfolds into a superhero costume and later this year we will be releasing a time travel comic that has to be read forwards, then backwards, then forwards again (and has lots of hidden pages to uncover). It’s a bit of a labyrinth, but a lot of fun.

siouxwarrior

 

Making these comics must pretty complicated- is it a logistical nightmare?

Absolutely. The earlier books were a lot more straightforward as far as scripting went, but with it getting more complicated these days, I now make a prototype to know how the story will be structured; and also it gives me something to show my artist what the heck I’m talking about. We then tend to spilt the script up and put it all into chronological order. Once the final drawn pages are sent back, we then have to build the darn things and that’s where it can get really tricky. In recent years, we have had what we like to call Victorian Workhouse Club in my living room, where good friends too kind to say no are forced to help us piece these things together. I must say this year though, we have been spared a lot of hassle by the top guys at UK Comics Creative who have done a lot of the work for us. It is definitely a logistical nightmare and sometimes we wonder why we put ourselves through it, but when we get to the convention and show someone something that they’ve never seen before, it makes it all worth while.


If money, manpower and the laws of physics were no object, what would you like to do as a concept comic?

I’ve got no idea on all the logistics, but I wanted to make a theme park edition, which would be kind of like a flea circus but with rides based on the Cape Fear characters. There was gonna be The Gurner Stomach Churner and the Tunnel of Death to name but a few. It would have been a Sioux Warrior shoestring version of Disneyland. I wanted to have it rigged with microscopic cameras fixed on each ride that brought the reader’s vision down to scale, so they could get a perspective of being in the front seat of a ghost train made from cardboard, and that’s where it all got a bit complex and those darn rules of physics got in the way. You never know what the future may hold though. If anybody knows where I can get microscopic cameras on the cheap, let me know and this is happening.

Sounds awesome!  Speaking of Sioux Warrior, what made you decide to write about a Native American hero?

In all honesty, his name wasn’t originally going to have Native American connections.  It all started out as a bit of a cynical joke.  It was a story I wanted to tell after seeing all those ads on the TV with lawyers telling us we might be entitled to compensation if we’d been mis-sold insurance, or had an injury in the workplace.  It made me think about the idea of justice, what it really meant and whether it was just that super-heroic belief in the goodness of mankind, or something that a lawyer could get you, as long as he could add his flat fee at the end.  So this version of the character was gonna be the “Sue Warrior”and he would get his powers from an accident in the workplace, but instead of becoming a hero, he would just sit on his piles of money and let the world go to Hell.  It sat on the backburner for a long time and then years later, the Native American bit came into play.  I started doing research into the history to see if we could push this character further than just a bad pun.  Seeing such a rich culture, I felt there was so much there that would strengthen our world.  It felt like a really good way to pull this very selfish man from the world of capitalism and into a place where he had to depend on the land.  We’ve strated to hint at this part of his life in the “Shrivel Ray is Dead” issue, but it’s still a story I’m looking to fill out a bit.  We haven’t quite seen the real origin of the Sioux Warrior yet. 

siouxwarriorart
The Sioux Warrior, by Lee O’Connor

 

Other than the Sioux Warrior, what other projects do Cape Fear Comics have lined up?

We have quite a few on the horizon.  Since December,  we’ve been working with local artists and writers to put together an anthology for the South West.  That’s been a lot of fun and given me the opportunity to adapt and incorporate quite a few local legends into a story called The Miner & The Mariner.  But the next really big project from Cape Fear is called The Creator and must be about seven years in development, if not more.  I don’t want to say too much about it yet, but it will be set in the future and will follow an anti-hero who creates his own villains to fight.  There’s a lot of twists and turns along the way, and hopefully it should have an ending you won’t see coming.  What excites me most about these projects, is that they will all be linked, they will all be canon, they will all exist in this Cape Fear Universe.

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That sounds awesome, I look forward to it!  One last question: if you were going to give the Cape Fear treatment to a mainstream superhero, who would it be and what would you do?

I’m a massive fan of DC, so I’d love to get my hands on any of their characters.  I would love to do books that showcase each of their powers.  If I had to pick one, I would cheat and say Amazo, so I wouldn’t have to choose.  It would be great to do a comic showing Superman’s powers, I’d pack it with Clark Kent styled x-ray specs that would highlight secrets and plot points of the story hidden in the pages; a comic shaped like Flash’s costume that would fold down to the size of a postage stamp and would fit in the Flash ring; then maybe a Green Lantern ring that had augmented reality built into it so that when you held your smartphone over it, it would project a comic page forged from the Green Lantern light itself telling the history of Oa.  That’s just a few ideas.  If I ever got to work at DC then that would be the dream, there would be not stopping me.  I think I might see if I can get a collection of signatures going soon [laughs]

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I’d definitely sign that!  Thank you for your time!

Thanks very much, you had some cracking questions there!

 

You can check out Cape Fear Comics here.  And by “can” I mean “better”.

The Other Thing The Internet Is For: Top 5 Geek Webcomics

 

The wonderful thing about webcomics is that webcomics are wonderful things. The second most wonderful thing about webcomics is that they give anyone with a pencil, a scanner and a dirty mind the opportunity to become an Internet God. The third is that they are free.

Webcomics or, as they are commonly called, “Computer Story Pictures”, have been a thing for almost thirty years now and are officially the third best way to waste time on the internet behind looking at pictures of grammatically challenged cats or messing with students by inserting erroneous information into Wikipedia (neither of which are practises endorsed by Geek Pride). There is something for everyone on the webcomic spectrum, a fact that is, in true human style, both awe-inspiring and utterly horrific.

While you are pondering this, be sure to check out these, our Top 5 Geek Webcomics; the best zombified, alien-infested, natural-20-rolling, sarcastic and just plain awesome comics to ever grace a webpage. One caveat though, we do like our webcomics with a little plottitude so you may find that has flavoured this list somewhat. If you think your favourite webcomic has been unjustly overlooked, let us know in the comments! And now, in no particular order…

1: The Adventures of Dr McNinja

KNIFEEYEATTACK

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creator: Chris Hastings

Category: Awesome

Gimme The Gist:

The Adventures of Dr McNinja are pretty much just that; the ongoing and increasing remarkable escapades of a man who is both a ninja and a doctor. Born to a clan of ninjas, our hero decides at an early age to turn his back on the family business and exchange sais for stethoscopes. Along with his gorilla secretary, Judy, sidekick Gordito and mentor Zombie Benjamin Franklin, the good doctor kicks the ass of every time-travelling dinosaur, space vampire and giant lumberjack who look at him twice.

Sounds Good But Why Should I Care?:

 I remember when reading comics was actually fun. I remember spectacle and excitement, the feeling like you were riding pillion on a flaming motorcycle and the driver had just lit a stick of dynamite. And so, apparently, does Chris Hastings.

With The Adventures of Dr McNInja, Hastings has created one of the most enjoyable on-going stories in any medium; an action-packed, family-based, sci-fi, horror comedy which utterly redefines the word “awesome” and will make you forget all about the “e” in XTREME. Combining fantastic art, compelling characters and plenty of teeth-grindingly wish-I’d-thought-of-that story concepts, if you only read on webcomic this year, make it The Adventures of Dr McNinja.

Start Reading here!

Honorable Mentions: Sam & Fuzzy, Sluggy Freelance

 

2: Order of The Stick

Comics_OOTS_Pic001

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creator: Rich Burlew

Category: Tabletop Fantasy Roleplay

Gimme The Gist:

Anyone who’s ever rolled for initiative or “genned” a character will be familiar with this next webcomic’s setup; six adventurers, warrior, thief, bard, ranger, druid, and wizard, fighting monsters and collecting loot while on their quest to defeat the evil undead lich, Xykon. Funny, touching, badly drawn and proud of it.

Sounds Good But Why Should I Care?:

 The idea of group of adventurers in a dungeon is nothing new. Even the twist of making them roleplay characters, all too aware of the rules and systems that control their lives, is not a unique one. What The Order of the Stick does have (apart from the charmingly basic line art) is depth. Not, obviously, in a spatial sense; I’m talking about character depth. In the 800 or so episodes released so far, every member of the team has experienced their own long and satisfying character arcs as a complex and compelling tale about the nature of good and evil (and neutral) has unwoven. Add to this a setting that is both familiar to even the most casual roleplayer, but different enough to still surprise and intrigue, and you have the reason this beat out other worthy offerings that tread similar ground . If you only read one webcomic this year, make it The Order of the Stick.

Start Reading here!

Honorable Mentions: Goblins, Dork Tower

 

3. XKCD

compiling

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creator: Randall Munroe

Category: For The Discerning Geek

Gimme The Gist:

A self-described “webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language”, XKCD is the ultimate geek comic, covering everything from physics and programming to dinosaurs and D&D, with a lavish helping of humanity.

Sounds Good But Why Should I Care?

If you consider yourself a geek at all then you should be at least casually acquainted with Munroe’s bittersweet musings on life, relationships and the computer age. Admittedly, I have read more XKCD through referral by friend that actually visiting the webpage, but no conversation about geek comics would be complete without it. Read the unconnected vignettes in any order you like and I guarantee that after five minutes you’ll have thought both  “I don’t get this” and “this comic totally gets me!” in quick succession. The fact that all this is rendered in the most basic line art only adds to the pathos and simple joy this comic can bring. If you only read one webcomic this year, make it XKCD.

Start Reading here!

Honourable Mentions: Hark! A Vagrant!,

 

4. The Tackleford Trilogy

rtod_1104

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creator: John Allison

Category: Various

Gimme The Gist:

Bending the rules slightly, the Tackleford trilogy of webcomics includes Bobbins (being the life and times of a group of contributors of a small urban magazine), Scarygoround (a horror comic featuring mostly the same cast) and Bad Machinery (a mystery comic featuring new characters with a couple of cameos), all set in the small West Yorkshire town of the same name.

Sounds Good But Why Should I Care?

Although varying in genres, all three webcomics lead on from one another and share Allison’s distinct style and Northern (England that is) sense of humour. He deftly manages to instil in his characters a very British flavour without making them exclusive in any way, a rare talent that can be missing from a lot of other comics.

The artwork, also by Allison, is superior, evolving from a fairly simple comicy look to extravagant retro-deco splash pages and almost abstract scenes which compliment both the drama and humour like a fine wine. If you like intertwining stories with lots of characters stepping in and out of the action over time, each new iteration focusing on a completely different a…holy shit, it’s The Wire of webcomics. All I can add is that if you only read one webcomic this year, make it the Tackleford Trilogy.

Start Reading here, here or here!

Honourable Mentions: Something Positive, Questionable Content

 

5. Penny Arcade

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Creators: Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Category: Videogame Culture

Gimme The Gist:

Crass, violent and hugely popular, Penny Arcade brings us the day-to-day musings of a pair of videogame aficionados interspersed with wryly observed satire and dick jokes.

Sounds Good But Why Should I Care?

If you have any prior experience of the word “webcomic” then you will know all about Penny Arcade. This is a webcomic so successful that these guys can actually do it for a living. It’s so successful that when an anti-videogames lost a public $10,000 wager and refused to pay, Krahulik & Holkins could afford to pony up the cash and donate it to the Entertainment Software Association. This is to say nothing of their charity work with Child’s Play or their enormously successful gaming festival Penny Arcade Expo. “But what’s the bloody webcomic like?” I hear you ask, like a barrel full of inquisitive schoolchildren floating along a canal. Well, it’s pretty darn good. The art from Jerry Holkins is slick and expressive, often gorily so, and the writing from Mike Krahulik is funny and sharp and, even after fifteen years, still has a talent for skewering the more deserving of the video game world’s celebrities. Prepare for a hit of gaming nostalgia if you decide to start from the beginning (Daikatana anyone?), but if you only read one webcomic this year, make it Penny Arcade.

Start Reading here!

Honourable Mentions: Ctrl-Alt-Del, PvP

Hitler is not taking The Red Wedding well…

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*SPOILER ALERT*

If you don’t know what all the hubbub and massive internet reaction to the latest episode of Game Of Thrones is all about, then you might as well stop reading now, sell your eldest child and invest in watching it. Seriously it is not to be missed however I’m not here to review it, we already have someone for that and I encourage you to check out his stuff here.

With the horrifying and shocking nature of The Red Wedding there have been many a hilarious reaction videos – captured by those wise people whom  read the books long ago.  A unique opportunity that I don’t think would work for most other TV or film adaptions, I mean, did anyone capture peoples reaction to Snape offing Dumbledore? (oh, old spoiler by the way) A very quick youtube search showed me just one. So why does GoT have so many? Well because of the shocking, excellently well played, writing of George R.R. Martin of course. He has no attachment to his characters, they mean nothing. He will kill them off in the most brutal and atrocious way he can and laugh at the uproar that creates.

As a result of the latest episode I have spent the last couple of days immensely, and somewhat disturbingly, enjoying the multitude of reactions to The Red Wedding. I have included a compilation of them below, just in case you’ve been in the Arctic or living in a cave. 

However, it is the Hitler reaction that I wanted to share with you. I am sure many of my fellow internet buddies have seen this done before, one that springs to mind is the Rory (Doctor Who) reaction, but for some reason, it never gets old. So here it is – Hitler’s reaction to the events of The Red Wedding:

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MCM London May 2013 (two weeks on)

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Two weeks on and it seems the MCM hype is still pretty high, and why the hell not? After 3 days of comics, Games, toys, guests, cosplay and some awesome weather, I would challenge 
anyone not to be feeling on top of the world!.

For a small, village born yokel, from a N.Irish backwater, events on the scale of MCM London are awe inspiring to say the least. They don’t do things this big back home and even Manchester’s MCM, which was the biggest con I’ve been to so far, was dwarfed by its shear size and capacity.

To make a good point of this; I spent 3 days walking around the event, inside and out, and thought I had seen everything, but every time I look at facebook, or the MCM group, I keep seeing pictures of areas in the hall I missed, venders I didn’t see and Cosplayers I didn’t photograph! (“Aww man where were they?!”) Both disheartening and amazing at the same time. Maybe in October MCM will let me have another press pass or two, so I can bring more minions? **wink wink**

As it was I had to drag my missus with me to carry equipment, which she moaned about, regularly, but even she, not by the standard definition of ‘A Geek’ was in awe and spent many an hour, while I was taking pictures and filming, just people watching. She is now a new convert and is planning her own cosplay armour…. I’m so proud.. :’o)

 So what is the big deal you may be asking. Why should I care about the aforementioned comic convention? Well,  If you didn’t go or, like me, were a first timer and wondering around like a headless chicken and missed stuff, then here is a list of all the guests, some video footage and some picture to give you a glimpse of what MCM had to offer.

[toggle_simple title=”GUESTS” width=”Width of toggle box”]

HANNAH SPEARRITT

ANDREW LEE POTTS
JASON FLEMYNG
TYLER HOECHLIN
RENEE FELICE SMITH
BARRETT FOA
THE DEAD LAY WAITING
HOLLAND RODEN
ROB VAN DAM
CHRISTIAN TAYLOR
JESSY SCHRAM
CRYSTAL REED
DANIEL SHARMAN
CAMILLA LUDDINGTON
SHINICHIRO WATANABE
SARAH CARTER
DREW ROY
REMI AUBUCHON
RAPHAEL SBARGE
KEEGAN CONNOR TRACY
JANE ESPENSON
BRAD BELL
MARK MEER
DOUGRAY SCOTT
TOM BAKER
EDGAR WRIGHT[/toggle_simple]

 

[toggle_simple title=”Pictures” width=”Width of toggle box”]

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More photos can be found on my flickr page HERE  and on our FB page HERE

 

Check out some of the video interviews interviews:

 

 

[toggle_simple title=”Interviews” width=”Width of toggle box”]

https://geek-pride.co.uk/matt-geary-interviews-sneaky-zebra-mcm-london-may-2013/

https://geek-pride.co.uk/matt-geary-interviews-spider-trooper-mcm-london-may-2013/

https://geek-pride.co.uk/matt-geary-interviews-tabitha-lyons-mcm-london-2013/

https://geek-pride.co.uk/matt-geary-interviews-scg-at-mcm-london-2013/

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Pretty cool huh?

All over now though, the hype will die and withdrawl will soon enough set in… what can a geek do? GET READY FOR MCM MANCHESTER IN JULY AND THEN LONDON AGAIN IN OCTOBER!…WOOOT!

Thats right y’all, if the above wetted your whistle and you feel like experiencing something Epic then you can get tickets forboth Manchester and London, HERE and HERE 

 

You need to stop playing Minecraft

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Holy sheep-flinging penis, Batman!

Minecraft, for those of you in that have spent the last two years hiding in a bunker from nuclear fallout/Superman is essentially a Lego survival horror game where you play as a nondescript terrified survivor (or Steve to his friends) who can build whatever your imagination can dream up; an underground railway, a secret Bat cave with trapdoors and elevators and yes…. a giant phallus.

What makes Minecraft so unbelievably popular is that it’s the perfect balance of difficulty and accomplishment. Survival mode sees you desperate for shelter in the first few days then steadily evolving your mud hut into a 200ft high castle with a lava moat. and you feel pretty safe in your fortress of solitude. That is until a Creeper explodes half your wall, letting in the hungry zombies, skeleton archers, spiders, giant slimes and the creepy-as-all-hell Endermen.

Cute right? They feast on dreams.
Cute right? They feast on dreams.

Then you change your underwear, respawn, rebuild and breathe a sigh of relief that you’ve built your walls DOUBLY high and THRICE the thickness, get through that, Creeper! And then you remember that spiders can climb…

And for those of you who’d prefer to just build there’s creative mode, where you can fly, are invincible and can spawn ALL types of blocks and creations the game has to offer. And that’s why you need to stop. Because someone has won.

Fuck your Infinity Cannon, screw your Awesome Mods and big jiggly balls to your Cat Fountain, because people and a few of their friends have out-created you all.

This glorious work is the product of Rivergrl21 and Nuropsych1 – This ridiculous tribute to Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice took two months to make, and it is worth every laborious click. Incidentally, for those of you who haven’t seen the film, you should. I’m not going to use a series of adjectives and bullying to convince you, I’ll just say that it’s Burton before he got to the “LOOK HOW COOKY AND WEIRD I AM, BOOOOOOOOO” phase of his career.

Actor Johnny Depp, left, and director Tim Burton.

So congrats to the pair of you, sterling work! And please never work for any weapons companies. There’s such a thing as “Too good”.

Material Culture and the Television

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Material Culture

 

Family_watching_television_1958

Different cultures may have the same things we have in America, however they may not be used the same way we use them. Let’s take the television for example. In America it is a source of entertainment, education and a news. We happen to be a “rich” country though, where the majority of families can afford to have a television in almost every room. 

Can you imagine not watching Dr. Who? The smallest things in life we take for granted, when in reality they are a privledge. What would you do if you couldn’t play your favorite video game any more? Like in The Hunger Games, Some governments do control what you see, hear and do simply by outlawing something as “normal” as a television set. While reading The Hunger Games, I realized that the world really is like that in some places. Of course they don’t send their children off to die in a big world wide event, but they are still controlled.

Some cultures or societies may not even have a television. In some third world countries there is possibly only one television in the entire village, same with some other remote villages in certain parts of the Middle East or Jamaica. In these places, the television is not used for entertainment purposes unless, for example, they have a citizen participating in a sporting event. Usually the television is in a centrally located “tavern” of sorts or a “town square” and the people come to watch the news. It is also used for getting world updates if allowed in that country.

Some villages are prohibited completely from having a television by their government. This allows for the government to maintain “control” over these smaller villages by prohibiting them from seeing it is possible to go against your government legally. There is a joke between me and and a friend of mine in China about the “Great Wall” over there. Although it is common to find a television in every household and possibly every room, the government has blocked access to certain things to avoid outside influence coming in. We call it “The Real Great Firewall” since it also takes care of blocking certain information coming through even on the internet. In some of these cultures you canactually be fined and/or jailed for possessing a TV or radio without authorization. But here in America we would find it strange if one could not have access to all the world information at the tips of our fingers.

 

 

Will World War Z Resurrect Zombies as Monsters?

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[quote]I will knock down the Gates of the Netherworld,

    I will smash the door posts, and leave the doors flat down,

    And will let the dead go up to eat the living!

    And the dead will outnumber the living!”

-Goddess Ishtar, The Epic of Gilgamesh, Tablet 6[/quote]

On the 29th of May, 2013, something lurched in the blighted wasteland of late night Channel 4. Ominous, sick creatures twitched and groaned, their insect-like faculties knowing only the need to feed.

I could turn that into a joke about Jimmy Carr or the bland studenty-types in the 10 o’ Clock Live audience, but no, I refer instead to this GiffGaff advert that premièred on one of the 10 o’ Clock Live ad breaks and took the whole damn thing up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04CR3NZPm_4

Now, in principle and on the face of it, this advert is not too awful. It has zombies, a decent message-cum-social commentary; “don’t judge a book by its cover, even zombies can be nice,” you, Derpy McZombiefan, might say. But hold on there, sparky. This is the very dangerous slippery slope that leads to this. And while it may be trendy to hate Twilight, I don’t care. It’s shit. Irredeemably shit. They turned one of the great erotic monsters into metaphors for repressed, creepy (in the wrong way) Mormon sexuality and more visually, into idealised sparkly Ken dolls.

I do not want that happening to my zombies. I say my zombies because I still believe that zombies have the opportunity to repulse, thrill and teach us all. By the same token, they shouldn’t simply be the punching bags of the frustrated nerd-world; the child molesters that everyone can imagine brutally destroying either, but let’s focus on the post-modern “nerfing” of them.

Okay, the lego heads were pretty funny.

Zombie Fans

Grar. *pushes air malevolently*

The problem with the advert is the very conscious way it is courting its target audience – people like me. I love zombies. I think that despite very few zombie films/miniseries actually being “good” (I’m thinking Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Living Dead, 28 Days Later*, Dawn of the Dead 2004, Shaun of the Dead,  Dead Set, The Walking Dead), there is an opportunity there that gets squandered by those wanting to use them for lazy gags.

To be fair, this is nothing new. The Return films wandered way into crappy territory when they fully embraced the zombie-exploitation-humour aspect. The first Return had a much better mix between comedy and horror; a tone that is rarely seen outside of Evil Dead 2. So did Shaun. It was dramatic and tantalising as well making tongue-in-cheek fun. And of course, there’s always this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG6oy46qKE4

The problem, as I see it, is people like me. People who have been inspired by zombie movies. I want to make a low-budget zombie movie. Almost everyone I know does. I once had a friend who was in sixth form pitch a zombie movie idea to me. Basically a bunch of students dicking about in the forest, then…dun dun DUN! Zombies!

Yeah, no thanks. Much like everyone dressing up as the Joker from The Dark Knight, it is something that becomes annoying before it even happens.

And I think that’s what happened with the GiffGaff advert. A group of fairly talented people defaulted to a media student mindset and got a decent enough budget to make a hamfisted, inoffensive modern attempt at a zombie short, complete with desaturated colours and brand-appropriate optimistic social commentary.

And that’s what bugs me; call me irrational, I know I can’t stop it, and I know that it’s probably better than a lot of really terrible zombie films out there, but I don’t like one of my favourite monsters used to sell mobile phones. It just cheapens the whole thing, and zombies have enough of a problem with trying to remain a credible threat, storytelling element or social metaphor without being churned into whore-monsters for the mobile industry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HCRnC8fLA4

Another whore-monster for mobile phones.

The Dead Will Rise Again?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EC7P5WdUko

World War Z is coming. The book was fun (if you like slow walker zombies, anyway), and the film, though it looks like it’s only tangentially related to the book, looks promising, in that it’s supposed to be full of actual monsters and action. I will take what I can get to avoid more hacks raking up my undead monsters to sell phones to idiots.

Now, I’m sure it won’t be perfect, but I the choice of fast zombies has been the mainstay of most “serious” attempts at zombie films since 28 Days Later. I am willing to give this a shot, and I’m avoiding all reviews, hoping against hope that it’ll be impressive, for the most part logical, gory and at least one character I actually care about. It’s the biggest budget zombie film that’s ever been made, I believe, so I’m hoping it kicks ass.

Zombies in Left 4 Dead, Left 4 Dead 2 and In the Flesh (BBC series) have opened up new potential for the “serious” zombie genre. L4D gave us diverse “specialised” infected, bursting with new zombie crowd-dynamics, while In the Flesh supplied moral quandaries, pertinent social commentary and thought experiments.

So all in all, I’d suggest there’s undeath in the old corpse yet.

[divider]

*A Note on Calling the 28 DL Infected “Zombies”

*28 Days Later, a post apocalyptic film set in Britain, introduced horror audiences to “the infected”, hyper-aggressive diseased humans. While not undead and certainly not Romero’s zombies, the film-makers did take influence from Romero’s films, as writer Alex Garland explains in the film’s production notes:

“I see it as a sort of oblique war film, relayed via seventies zombie movies and British science fiction literature,” says Garland, “Particularly J.G. Ballard and John Wyndam.”

Boyle also indicated his desire to mutate the perceptions of the genre and to give it new meaning:

 “Boyle was taken by the script immediately but did not want to make a straight genre movie. “I like zombie movies but they come out of a particular period, a society paranoid about what might be the dirty result of nuclear weapons and power. I’m not a big aficionado of the genre, I like it a lot, but I love that Alex gave us a twist on the viral apocalypse theme – that this is not a clinical virus but a psychological one – so in the long run, I feel there was respect for the genre but I hope that we freshened it up in some way.”

So yeah, there you go. That’s the pedants pre-empted. *gang gesture*

After Earth – 3 GPPs

picafterearth1

I really wanted to like After Earth. It had all the hallmarks of a summer blockbuster: big budget, A-list actors, a pretty cool trailer that showcased some snazzy digital effects and it’s a science fiction movie. I stayed away from the marketing hype, hoping to enjoy the cinema experience for what it should be- an awe-inspiring journey into an unfamiliar world, complete with a compelling story and outstanding set pieces. I did get an unfamiliar world and a journey, but in all good conscience I can’t say it was inspiring or compelling, with precious little of the film outstanding.

After Earth tells the story of young Cadet Ranger Kitai Raige and his father, the celebrated legendary warrior General Cypher Raige, and how they cope after crash-landing on an alien and unforgiving planet. With his father suffering from a serious injury caused by the accident, Kitai must embark on a perilous quest to signal for help.

This is where After Earth falls apart. After a few brief flashes of Cypher’s physical and mental prowess, he takes a back seat and we’re forced to tag along with his petulant, pretentious son who, after a terrible exposition-filled opening monologue, I found incredibly hard to like and, as he fumbles his way through the plot towards the MacGuffin that will save the day with nothing more than a furrowed brow and a sulking pout, Kitai does very little to endear himself to the viewer as he struggles through uninspired set pieces, battling oversized and perpetually angry animals, consistently ignoring the advice of the seasoned professional that is his father, until he reaches the obvious and all too predictable finale.

After Earth is really nothing more than the story of a father and son, who remain distant after a family tragedy (that plays out through endless flashbacks) and are forced to spend time together by their long suffering wife and mother, set to the backdrop of a B-movie science fiction flick.

Oh there’s the usual sci-fi gadgetry; a colour changing skinsuit, a nifty stabbing stick and a wrist communicator that allows Father Raige to keep tabs on his boy, but even these seem like afterthoughts, all too familiar bits and pieces stolen from other parts of the sci-fi multiverse that I’m sure were only put there to make us, the audience, think ‘Yes, this is a sci-fi movie!’

Will and Jaden Smith

Father and son double act Will and Jaden Smith play Cypher and Kitai respectively, and as much of the screen time is given over to Smith Junior, it’s clearly intended to be a star vehicle created by Daddy Smith for his wannabe actor son. Smith Senior, taking sole story credit for the feature, initially envisaged the film as a father-son camping trip that goes horribly wrong after a car crash, leaving the father injured and the son having to go for help. He took the concept to scriptwriter Gary ‘The Book of Eli’ Whitta and sought out the directorial expertise of a certain M Night Shyamalan. Somewhere in the mix the doomed camping trip transformed into what we see in the movie, with the big twist being the alien world the duo are stranded upon happens to be Earth a 1000 years in the future, after humanity has fled the planet.

I can’t help but think that the original concept would have made a much better film. This is the second time out for the Smith boys playing father and son, after The Pursuit of Happyness, and accusations of nepotism aside, both performers did a much better job in the heartfelt 2006 drama.

And then there’s that name. M Night Shyamalan. The once-lauded writer-director, a name now synonymous with failure, has remained suspiciously absent from any marketing blurb. I was quietly shocked to see Shyamalan attached to the film, but by that point it was too late and it was with a certain amount of trepidation that I settled into my seat. As it turned out said trepidation was most deserved.

m night shyamalan

The man who ruined The Last Airbender has surely parked himself in the director’s chair for the last time with this latest outing. If box office figures are anything to go by, After Earth has gloriously and quite spectacularly bombed in America, though much of the scorn is being heaped at Will Smith’s feet, with the movie-loving underground noting that it was actually Smith Senior who took on much of the directorial duties, leaving M Night to tackle the technical end of picture-helming; blocking shots, viewing dailies, approving digital effects, etc.

Dear me, the digital effects… It’s a real mixed bag with this one. A fair amount of the film was shot with spangly new ultra-high definition 4K technology, and in some scenes you can really tell, but in others the digital effects appear laughably unfinished, distractingly so, which only helped to hinder the already failing movie even further.

It really isn’t all bad though. There are some nuggets of gold hidden within this $130 million turkey, particularly the cinematography of veteran director of photography Peter Suschitzky and the understated performance of Sophie Okonedo as wife and mother Faia Raige, who gets precious little screen time, and who eagle-eyed viewers might recognise as Sithandra from 2005’s Æon Flux.

All said and done, After Earth could and should have been a much more entertaining and enjoyable experience. M Night Shyamalan has made some terrible films, though I’ll always hold a bit of a torch for him, as he penned and directed one of the greatest superhero films of all time; Unbreakable, which had Bruce Willis doing the gritty, dark superhero bit a good five years before Christopher Nolan had Christian Bale put on the cape and cowl.

Kitai Raige

It’s Jaden Smith that ends up being the problem; After Earth hinges on his portrayal of the boy Kitai going through a rite of passage, with his gruff and demanding father looking over his shoulder, criticising his every move. But I just couldn’t believe in the character, because in the back of my head I couldn’t separate the teenage whiney, pouty, petulant, entitled child from who I suspect Jaden Smith is alarmingly similar to in real life. I don’t want to sound like I’m jumping on the Jaden Smith-bashing bandwagon, but the starlet hasn’t got the acting chops to carry a summer blockbuster on his wiry shoulders. His father he is not.

Will Smith is no stranger to sci-fi, turning out decent performances in I, Robot, Men In Black and Independence Day to name just a few of the blockbusters he’s headlined. Does a lacklustre plot, shoddy effects work and a box office bomb mark the end of Will Smith’s acting career? Highly unlikely. Does it mean he’ll stay away from sci-fi for while? Quite possibly. Will he refrain from making any more father-son train wrecks? I really hope so.

You can view the trailer here.