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The Cosplayer’s Guide to Basement Nerds (Part 1/4)

The world of geeks and nerds is not unlike a diverse ecosystem teeming with all manners of beast. One of the most maligned creatures in our peculiar menagerie is the Basement Nerd. You know the Basement Nerd very well. These are the chaotic evil human males that win imagined arguments and intangible territories.

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Absent any authority to do so, they take it upon themselves to judge who gets to be in the clubhouse. They scrawl the graffiti of ‘nice boobs’ or worse under every cosplayer’s newly posted picture. These are the drow geeks that feed society’s stereotypes of and novelty for our community. They live in America’s basements and yell through the internet about how a black Power Girl is inaccurate. The Basement Nerd’s social grace is responsible for convention creeping and that familiar con-aroma tingling our collective spider-sense.

Rad-roaches, mutant rats, and goblins all have a reason for existing. We may find them to be repulsive creatures but they are still part of our adventures. Understanding how they function in the world-setting requires some measure of dispassionate objectivity. It is easy to vilify or dismiss ‘monsters’ as nothing more than low level nuisances in between us and our loot. The reality, however, is that Basement Nerds are part of our community — whether we like it or not.

creepybasement Alienation and hostility neither reduces their number nor serves to disabuse them of their views and habits. In fact, I would suggest that it may only further entrench those attitudes by establishing a leaderboard of juvenile resistance. They will cry ‘political correctness’ or ‘manhating’ or ‘it was just a joke’ at any attempt to critically engage them. It is against our alignment to let such a small group of people mar the reputation of our greater geek community. It is also against our alignment to retaliate with the wicked weapons of ridicule and marginalization.

You cannot hope to fight injustice whilst hating it.

The discussion within our community about our wayward kin is still taking shape. The best of the discourse is often in the form of lists and rules that exemplify the most basic of courtesies. Though it may be a good start, I think there are still better ways to deal with the issue. I think we should look to the analogy of parenting.

I have observed that successful parents are those that teach their children good principles rather than good rules. The distinction lies in the economy of right decision making. A principle can be applied to any situation with a halfway decent wisdom check. A rule set, however comprehensive, is specific only to those discretely identifiable circumstances. This ultimately breeds the corruption of exceptions.

We should not create opportunities for snide rules- lawyering to become a class skill. Imparting principles is more difficult than issuing decrees since it requires some intellect on the part of the parents. They must be able to answer the inevitable question from their child, “Why do I have to do that?” I aim to inform the discussion with some of my observations and submit them for the consideration of the lawful good readers of Geek Pride.

I hope through discussion we will be able to arrive at some general principles useful in approaching this portion of our community. But first, if we are to truly help the basement nerd, we have to understand the origin story that created him. And so, long ago, on a dark night, Culture killed his parents.

Culture is what we teach to and learn from others. The cosplay subculture might be a new one but still fits neatly within this definition. It has only one extension; a subculture is also infused with the greater culture of which it is a part. Many of our learned cultural attitudes can provide a yellow brick road to understanding the Lollipop Guild’s beef with Juliet Starling.

by Zombie Peepshow
by Zombie Peepshow

The first step to Oz involves the depiction of women in the types of media regularly consumed by our community. In the next installment, we will discuss some of the sexualized imagery common in genre media, the inherent subjectivity of pornography, and how these relate to the psychology of the drow geek.

Check back soon for the advanced second edition of The Cosplayer’s Guide to Basement Nerds!

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A Worthy 50th for Dr Who?

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Rich Johnston at Bleeding Cool claims to have an insider scoop on the much-rumoured legendary BBC stash of Africa.

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Daleks, the single most iconic monster from the long-running television series.

I’ve heard the rumours plenty of times about the BBC engineer in Africa who has copies of every lost episode of everything ever, or so they say.

According to Johnston we may be in for a treat! His sources indicate that by the end of this year we may well be able to watch Troughton’s 1967 Evil of the Daleks, and many more of his early episodes, and is even speculating about a possible full Hartnell collection!

These are truly lost episodes, many of which haven’t been screened since the very first time. If these rumours are true then it could really be a special anniversary year for Who fans old and new!

Man of Steel- the arguments against – 6GPP

Gone is the charm of the Richard Donner films. This ‘Man of Steel’ has a bit of a heart of steel. We are treated to a visual feast of cataclysmic proportions at the expense of an overstuffed story.

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After we’ve gotten a good long look at Krypton (which looks spectacular) the action leaps forward to Kal-El’s adult life working various jobs and keeping off the grid, leaving the story of his childhood to a series of flashbacks in which we glimpse the emergence of his powers and his relationship with his adoptive parents.

Kevin Costner and Diane Lane as Jonathon and Martha Kent give the best performances of the film here, and for their troubles are gifted very little screen time. It’s a shame that this facet of the origin story is merely glanced over- particularly in the light of the importance of Jonathon Kent’s teachings to his son in the initial story; providing the most emotionally poignant moments in the film- but which are very quickly forgotten when General Zod arrives and stuff starts blowing up.

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The rest of the cast perform well. Russell Crowe gets to flex his action muscles in a thrilling opening sequence and remains a formidable force until late into the film providing a perfect foil to Shannon’s malevolence and a fresh take on Jor-El. Laurence Fishburne nails Perry White. Henry Cavill as Kal-El has remarkably little to say- but carries himself well enough even with his jaw set to steel.

I have massive problems with the level of Lois Lane’s involvement in the story. She is an ever present figure for many events which certainly don’t require her journalistic intervention- a military bombing operation for example. This is your ‘modern’ Lois Lane, action heroine to off-set all the masculinity (with the notable exception of a no-nonsense Antje Traue as Faora-Ul) curious then, that she should revert to the role of a classic damsel in distress so often for Kal-El to leap to the rescue of. The relationship between the pair is however, underdeveloped and I couldn’t detect even a hint of romantic spark between Adams and Cavill.

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This is not your father’s Superman. Comic-book purists will no doubt be unhappy at the extensive changes made to the mythology. What they can be happy with is the visual world Snyder has conceived, arguably his strongest to date. Krypton and its technology are fantastically imagined- Herocka, Jor-El’s winged mount came as a pleasant surprise.

The action is intense, quickly paced and on an unbelievable scale. And there’s plenty of it; though I began to tire of the novelty of men being punched through buildings towards the end of the film’s hefty run time. The heavy use of CGI in these sequences may put off some viewers but was completely necessary in cementing it in amongst its contemporaries. In particular, the final showdown between Kal-El and Zod showcases the frenetic energy as the fight is not confined to a mere district of Metropolis, reaching atmospheric heights, but unfortunately comes to an abrupt anti-climax.

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I have rarely seen such destruction on film, skyscrapers fall like flies. Hundreds of bystanders are (bloodlessly) killed when caught in the midst of the bout and not a thought is spared for them. Yet earlier in another fight special focus was put into Kal-El’s saving of one soldier; there’s an inconsistency in tone that troubles me.

Perhaps the problem is that the film is so joyless. You’ll have noticed I’ve been chiefly referring to the protagonist as Kal-El rather than Superman. In fact the film only openly (and rather begrudgingly) refers to him as Superman once, as if it’s unfashionable, as if such ‘quirky’ names will rob the summer blockbuster of its potency somehow. A little bit of humour may have gone a long way (the few attempts present were misfires).

Nevertheless the sheer visual spectacle saves it. All in all, Snyder has successfully rebranded this enduring character for the new generation. Now the origin’s out of the way, any sequel can hopefully avoid bloating itself with too many threads. And with references to Lexcorp and Wayne Enterprises on plain display, the future certainly has potential for this hero.

Man-Of-Steel-2013-chest-look

 

If you would like to read Matt gush about how awesome it was, then check out his 10GPP review HERE

Xbox Comes clean

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Xbox Engineer Comes clean about XboxOne

 

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While perusing Internet, I came across an article about the XboxOne that actually made whole hell of a lot of sense. Still not 100% convinced to buy one but here is what he had to say about it, as well as my reactions to some of his responses. The source can not be accurately verified unless I want to call to verify this “I work in Studio A, 40th ave in Redmond, Wa. The thai place in the studio cafeteria has double punch Wednesdays”.

 

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“Think about it, on steam you get a game for the true cost of the game, 5$-30$. On a console you have to pay for that PLUS any additional licenses for when you sell / trade / borrow / etc. If the developer / publisher can’t get it on additional licenses (like steam), then they charge the first person more. […] If we say “Hey publishers, you limit game to 39.99, we ensure every license transfer you get 10$, gamestop gets 20$” that is a decent model… Microsoft gets a license fee on first and subsequent game purchases, compared to just first now? That’s a revenue increase.”

“Everyone and their mother complains about how gamestop fucks them on their trade ins, getting 5$ for their used games. We come in trying to find a way to take money out of gamestop, and put some in developers and get you possibly cheaper games and everyone bitches at MS. Well, if you want the @#$@ing from Gamestop, go play PS4.”

[/box_light]

Can we really get upset about this? Most of us don’t make 100k plus a year or have awesome parents that buy us everything we want. Those of us who fall into this category are always stuck getting games second hand or having to work 6 hours just to be able to afford a single game. Granted, right now you can just borrow from friends or use GameFly, but who wants to wait for that anymore? I personally don’t have the patience to wait for snail mail to bring me a new game. With only a few hours to play every week now that I’m an adult, having games on demand from the cloud is an amazing solution. Sorry GameStop. Love you guys but you really do screw us on trade ins. Don’t worry, you’ll survive. People will still play PlayStation.

[box_light]“Living room transformation. We want to own the living room. Every living room TV with an XBox on input one. It’s the thing that gives the signal to your TV, everything is secondary. The future, where games, TV, internet telephony, all that shit happens magically on some huge ass screen with hand / voice gestures… That’s our goal.”[/box_light]

 

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Admit it. You want that too. When they announced the Kinect, we all thought that we were going to get this awesome device that will allow us to control everything with the wave of our hand. We were told it would happen. We didn’t get it then, and now that it has been announced, we are complaining? Why? This is just convenient for those of us who are amazing sofa surfers.

[box_light]“Google TV + PS4 + Minority report level gestures, that combined with a sick second screen experience (which is really hot for TV, I know I know.. tv tv tv tv tv… but it’s fucking sick when you have it). Games will be the same, there are more exclusives to MS then PS atm, and Kinect 2 makes Kinect 1 look like a child’s toy.”[/box_light]

Sorry to break it to you bro, but the Kinect 1 IS a Childs toy. It is inaccurate, creeps people out with it’s constant tracking, has bugs like a mattress at a thrift shop and is just a crappy addition to a great console. When I heard about Kinect, I thought, “great! Now kids will actually have to get up and interact with the game. Instead of pretending to play basketball from their couch, they will actually be playing basketball (in a virtual world) and that could help our obesity problem in America.” Boy was I wrong. Hopefully with the Kinect 2, I can see that become a reality.

[box_light]“Current plan is basically you’re fucked after 24 hours. Yeah… I know. Kind of sucks. I believe they will probably revist the time period and / or find a diff way to “call in” to ensure you haven’t sold your license to gamestop or something… but there is no plan YET. I’m hoping the change it, but I don’t work on that so I don’t have much influence there /sigh”

    “If the power goes out you ain’t playing shit. I’m assuming you mean the internet goes out but you have power for TV and Xbox. Yes, You’re fucked for single player games. Again, that’s the PoR (Plan of record), but I expect it to change after the e3 clusterfuck”[/box_light]

They will definitely have to change that. Or here’s an idea…. If you know you are going on vacation somewhere that you can’t take your account with you, call Xbox and let them know. If you can do it with your credit cards, you can do it for your account. I put a hold on my account when my hard drive got stolen. I was worried about my gamer score and rep, not my cc being charged. (Gamer logic, don’t ask.) If you’re going to jail, well you’re fucked anyways so don’t worry about your console. It is meant to protect you and your console if stolen and Microsoft if you sell your console. The 24 hour thing will have to change for those of us who travel without our consoles. And really, who doesn’t use the internet at least once a day?

[box_light]“The cloud capabilities is the shit they like the most. We basically made a huge cloud compute shit and made it free. What people are doing with it is kind of cool. The original intention was to get all the Multiplayer servers not requiring 3rd party costs (Like EA shutting down game servers to cut costs), as well as taking all the games that servers hosted by the clients (Halo, etc), and have all that compute done in the cloud allowing more CPU cycles for gameplay. That will really expand what developers can do. Anything that doesn’t need per frame calculation and can handle 100ms delays can be shifted to the cloud. That’s huge.”[/box_light]

There really isn’t much to say about this except, “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

[box_light]SmartGlass + IE is going to be pretty freaking sweet. 1 finger cursor, 2 finger direct manip. Basically if you think of a laptop trackpad where your phone/ slate is the trackpad and the monitor is your TV… it’s that. The tech is there, just needs to be applied. There is some really cool shit going on with Petra + controllers that pairs people with controllers. So if person with controller two trades controlers with controller 1, their profiles magically switch. It’s sick. What does this matter? Now if you lean left/right it knows which person is leaning, even if 4 people are all int he same room. It’s awesome.[/box_light]

OK, here’s where you figure out that I only play Xbox. The Kinect 1 SUCKS! With this technology I will gladly have more parties at my place with interactive games. Even at 30 years old, my friends and I still play games together and we are starting to be a little too big to fit in the same “playable area” that is currently offered. Pairing controllers with players will fix so much. If you don’t understand what that means, you probably should read some other stuff about technology first.

[box_light]What fee? There is no fee to play your games at your friends house. Never has, never will. Even x360 digital downloads could do that.[/box_light]

Rumors have circulated that you will have to pay a fee to play games online. Newsflash!!! It’s called an Xbox Live Gold subscription. If you play online, you have one. Stop freaking out. If you want free, go play PlayStation.

[box_light]“Honestly, if you care about anything other then pure games AT ALL. Xbox 1. PS4. If all you do is play games, and nothing else, PS4.”[/box_light]

True story people. As I write this, I have two people still asleep in my house who I have no interest in waking up. I am using my Xbox to stream music while wearing my head set (TB X41’s) and surfing the net to bring you news like this. After this, I will likely play some BioShock then watch some Breaking Bad, all from the same console. Yes I pay for “extras” such as a Slacker premium account, Netflix, and hulu plus, but I use those accounts for a lot of things. Microsoft wanting to “own the living room” sounds creepy, but really, don’t they already offer us a lot in the way of convenience and entertainment? The XboxOne, if delivered as promised, will only make this a better option for people like me, who use their console for several things.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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Dear friend,

I’m writing this to tell you about a book I’ve read, a book that meant so much to me that I feel like everyone should read it. To quote Hazel Grace: “Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”  This book was like that for me, which is why I’m writing this.

Fair warning, we all know that there’s a certain degree of elitism that surrounds reading books labelled young adult. Most “grown-ups” shy away from the genre, thinking they would be seen as immature (and no, I’m not kidding you) but I have found that there are gems hidden on the bookshelves that cater to the younger generations and one of those gems was this book. I had heard of it for a while, even more so since they made a movie that features Emma Watson and and Logan Lerman, but I only got around to reading it last week. It took about three hours and as most book lovers know, if you can devour a book, it’s because it’s good.

Most people call this a coming of age novel and I have to agree with that statement. As I turned each page I had a single regret, not having read it when I was the age of the characters. Despite being over a decade past the age of adolescence, it still resonated with me, reminding me of a time I had long forgotten, a time where I was a lot like Charlie in too many aspects to count out.  That is the mark of a good book, its ability to connect with a reader, even if said reader isn’t part of the niche. 

But let’s see what it’s all about, shall we? The Perks of Being a Wallflower is in fact a collection of letters, sent to an anonymous individual that works as a sounding board for Charlie’s thought process. Charlie, a fifteen year old when the letters start, goes through the process of growing up and discovering who he really is. Every single one tells a story, a story of his life, of the things he’s seeing and feeling, the thoughts that cross his mind when he observes the world he chooses to stay away from, until finally he figures out what shaped his personality, what made him who he is and how to fight back to reclaim the things he’s shied away from for too long.

He discovers friends and hurt, enemies and frenemies and everything in between and since this is a book about a fifteen year old, there is also a sprinkle of love added, just enough to keep things interesting, not enough to turn this book into, yet another, smut fest. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a little bit tired of having it repeated over and over again that young people only have one thing in mind. It might be true, but I can count at least a few people who don’t share in on that belief, despite their age.

That’s the best I can manage, without giving everything away, but once you reach the final page you’ll understand that it’s worth reading without any pre-conceived ideas, without any input from someone else’s vision on what the book is about and why it was written and whether or not it means something to you.

Do yourself a favour and pick it up at the library or at the book store, even if it’s on the shelf that so many adults fear getting close to, like all the characters in Hunger Games and The Mortal Instruments combined will somehow jump out to kick their asses. I promise you’ll find a way to thank me later for it.

Love always,

Cristina

Swamp Thing #21

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Swamp Thing, now returned from Metropolis to the swamps of Louisianna finds a strangely attired woman named Capucine requesting his help. He receives a history lesson from the Parliament of trees and discovers more about The Seeder.

After the recent sidetrack to Metropolis, Charles Soule shifts a gear with this issue which features some excellent developments.

The introductory monologue which explains that despite being able to live pretty much anywhere on the planet Swamp Thing chooses to live in the swamps of Louisianna, reasserts his connection and interest in nature but also makes clear his desire for solitude which, following his recent conversation with Superman, shows they may have more in common than Clark wanted to admit.

This solitude is interrupted by the strangely attired Capucine, before Holland can process what is she wants more intruders appear with less than noble intentions towards Capucine.

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A stranger seeks Swamp Thing’s help.

The introduction of Capucine adds a sense of mystery to the proceedings and also since Abby has become the avatar of The Rot Swamp Thing has lacked anyone to really interact with so it’s good to see some chemistry bubbling away between the two. It’s always impressive when a story doesn’t have a clearly telegraphed destination, Capucine may become a paramour of sorts, there is a potential for some sort of development as the story progresses and she seems to be too interesting a character to just be used in a throw away manner .

It’s refreshing to see a female character requesting help who then goes on to prove quite impressively that they are no mere helpless damsel in distress waiting for a knight in shining armour to save them. It’s this which causes Swamp Thing to become even more confused and seek council with the Parliament of Trees.

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The flashback to the one of the previous avatars of The Green is the highlight of the book. This unnamed avatar comes to the rescue of witches about to be burnt at the stake in France 800 years ago. This avatar has the look of a bearded monk only with his robe and hood made from foliage, it’s a great image and it is this avatar who offered the pledge of protection to any who seek it. He says to one of the raving members of The Inquisition ‘The Green world bears you no ill will, it is your choice to fear us, and those who love us’.

The avatar of The Green protects those facing persecution.

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 The idea of an avatar of The Green offering protection to those that are seen as heretics and witches by the church for worshiping nature is a great connection of both a period of history and the roots of the character. The simulacra that the avatar conjures up to rescue the witches are more impressive and a great interpolation of his powers that hasn’t been seen before.

This flashback which is dialogue heavy also balances out the more action oriented events with Capucine.

Jesus Saiz, replacing previous artist Kano, delivers some great art with this issue. Swamp Thing’s new appearance one consisting of bark rather than the usual foliage makes for an imposing sight and the appearance of the older avatar is both impressively detailed and memorable. Other touches make the difference too, like the summoned simulacra all looking slightly different and the action with Capucine is well handled too showing a talent for composition.

The cliffhanger ending also intrigues.

The ever reliable Jock has done the cover for this issue and whilst it may be a little abstract it’s a vast improvement on the dire covers of the last two issues.

 

Jersey Welcomes Cavill For Man Of Steel Premiere

Jersey welcomed local boy Kal-el, I mean, Henry Cavill, for a very special premiere screening of the much anticipated Man of Steel… and welcomed him in a typically “Jersey” way.

supesJersey – the small 42 square mile island off the southern coast of England hosted a special Man of Steel premiere, with Henry Cavill, Amy Adams and Russell Crowe in attendance.

However there were some very special sights laid on for the event – some “Super Cows” were dressed as our favourite Kryptonian, the “hope” Superman logo was etched onto one of the island’s beaches and last but not least, a special series of stamps were created.

Take a look at the images below and see what you think.

Super Stamps Super Cows Super Beach

Suitably mental, huh? Anyone else have this in their heads when I mentioned Super Cows?

Super Cow Al Rescate!Source: BBC News

 

Nostalgia: Breath of Fire III – 9GPPs

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Memory Lane has Fairies and Dragons!

Straight to the point: What an RPG! This is one of the classics of the Playstation and if you missed it, get it now and play through it (Especially with emulators being so easy to come by). You won’t have wasted your time. Capcom did a great job here. It’s just a shame the series descended into the calamity that was Breath of Fire V.

Nue

The Plot

Ryu is a young, rather mute boy with a mass of childish blue hair that very much looks like a turban. Looking like that fossilized mosquito from Jurassic Park, he is dug out from a long drawn out slumber and set to a very rude awakening via explosive force.

As you can imagine, Ryu, in his cutest dragon form, is a very p****ed off reptilian monster. Wouldn’t you be after dynamite woke you up from a well deserved lay in?

 After fighting your way out of several encounters to escape the mine, you are knocked out, stashed into a crate and sent off on a train to only lord knows where. After escaping the cage by having some sort of dragon-like epileptic fit, Ryu transforms into a naked boy and is rescued by a teenager who saves the mutating dragon-boy from inevitable nomming by savage wild dogs.

From here the story takes off, taking the player on a whirlwind of an emotional storyline set to keep you entertained for long, long hours. It has to be the first game I’ve played that made me wish I didn’t have to kill a boss and claim all those post-battle goodies.

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It was only defending its cubs, damn it!

The plot takes many twists and turns. It may take a long time to get there, but you watch the characters grow to maturity and feel like you’ve watched a true epic go by.

 

The Game

The game is typical of the RPG’s around that time. It follows the trend of turn based combat, each combatants getting a chance to whack each other with assortments of weaponry and flashy assortments of magic.

It’s an easy game to get hooked into. Beware though, for it hailed from an era of RPG’s that were full of brutal merciless creatures. There is no leash to drag you through like so many easy games of late. I found some of the random encounters more difficult than the actual bosses, which left the party crippled when it came to actually fighting boss battles.

The graphics are isometric with the ability to shift it about. Many an item is hidden around corners and can only be found this way! But what can you expect of a game from 1997? This is when Cloud and Sephiroth’s brick hands were the epitome of top end graphics. There is also a distinct anime feel permeating the entirety of the game and the childish chibi look doesn’t look a miss, even in combat.

There are several unique systems that make Breath of Fire 3 differ from its RPG siblings. First of all is the Master system. Every character can take a Master, granting it different stat progression of level up. Want Ryu to be more of a Wizard? Sure, just head on over to one of the many hidden Masters. These mysterious NPC’s come in all shapes and sizes (One even being a giant tree), and can also teach various abilities and spells after reaching specific prerequisites.

Secondly, the Gene aspect really stands out. I mentioned Ryu is a mutating dragon –thing— right? Technically called the Brood, but whatever. Well as you progress through the plot you garner lost parts of the characters historical heritage: The genes of ancient dragons.

Mixing these genes together, the player can create a rather broad spectrum of different dragons, even merging with other characters to summon forth truly unique characters.

Then there are the Fairies. Ryu and Co save a colony of starved pink, crazy glitter flies from a homicidal shark. Afterward, the player can build up the Fairy town which leads to obtaining several items and your own personal shopping center to visit.

To compliment game play the sound effects are ridiculously cute when most of the characters are still youngsters. The soundtrack has a jazz inspired motif that just fits with the milieu.

 

Conclusion

Despite some really difficult encounters and several dungeon trawls through complicated environments, Breath of Fire 3 was and still is a very enjoyable experience. I spent over 50 hours replaying it and didn’t regret a moment. The graphics do not pull you away from the game play. The storyline is emotional and fulfilling. The mini-games were fun and the characters interesting. If you missed this classic, you know what you gotta do!

Characters and Move sets revealed: Super Smash Bros 2014

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While the entire civilised world takes their sides and lights their pitchforks for the ongoing PS4/ Xbox One debate, everyone seemed to forget about gaming’s clumsy-but-he-means-well cousin the Wii-U. I don’t want to sound like an old gold prospector but hell y’all, you missed a doozy.

The Super Smash Bros franchise is one I fell in love with since day one of its conception.  I spent my formative years in a constant battle with Sheik at Hyrule Castle for hours a day. I played the game so much and felt I knew every nuance, every wave dash and roll save the game had to offer. It was a franchise that is in my opinion one of, if not the best fighting games in the business. It’s a bass guitar of a franchise: easy to pick up, horrendous to master. With enough play styles to match almost any style. Writer Malcolm Gladwell stated in his book “Outliers-The Story of Success” that if you practice anything for 10,000 hours then you will be good at it. This can obviously be applied to anything but it rings especially true for SSBM: if you put the hours in, even The Ice Climbers of Pichu could be unstoppable forces of nature. That is of course unless you’re facing me playing Marth.

Look at him. So dreamy. (copyright Nintendo)
Look at him. So dreamy. (copyright Nintendo)

The new Super Smash Bros installment has been recently revealed for Wii U and, surprisingly, 3DS. The final smash will be a making a return and so far no one has said anything about Subspace Emissary. Which is the best news in the world, hopefully they forgot it. Maybe they sent it to a lead lined bunker, 50 floors below sea level, guarded by Cerberus himself.

They also revealed a current roster of characters, updated as recently as yesterday:  Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Samus, Kirby, Fox, Pikachu, Bowser, and Pit make welcome returns as well as three new comers:

Megaman

Pew pew pew! Megaman

(copyright Nintendo)
(copyright Nintendo)

makes his debut in his classic nes form.

Most attacks are based around his blaster, which can be fired whilst running and jumping. He also has a charge attack and a shoryuken. Seriously. I’m glad to see such development, as before his move set was announced, many fans were adamant that this would just be a Samus clone.

As it turns out Megaman is actually becoming one of the most versatile and unique characters. Based on skills he has collected throughout the games via their bosses, Megaman can spike, burn, electrocute, cut and utilise a shield that not only defends but also can be thrown! Like Captain America! Right?!

A… Villager?

Apparently you all asked for him. Apparently you’ve all been begging since animal crossing came out to include him. Apparently I’ve been in a coma for the last ten years. Director Masahiro Sakurai has heard your ardent pleas, and The Villager has made his happy-faced little way into Super Smash Bros.

Intimidating. (copyright funnyjunk.com)
Intimidating. (copyright funnyjunk.com)

Sakurai stated that the villager “collects things” and therefore uses a variety of items in his move set, such as a sapling, umbrella, fireworks a slingshot, a bowling ball and…. a stick. A saving grace for the character is a counter that “collects” projectile attacks that can later be thrown back at opponents, the only thing similar to this was Mr G&W’s “bucket” attack.

 

Wii Fit Trainer

Sakurai introduced this character by stating that “pretty much no one saw this character joining the battle”. And he was right. It’s an utterly bizarre choice, but I guess it allows those that were mocked by here in Wii Fit to take out their frustrations.  Her move set involves yoga poses, hula hoops and a medicine ball.

...and then becomes depressed becasue there were too mnay calories in that rice cracker. (copyright Nintendo)
…and then becomes depressed becasue there were too mnay calories in that rice cracker. (copyright Nintendo)

The release is set for 2014 sometime but we at Geek Pride will give you news as it comes. Also mentioned were the main differences in the 3DS and Wii-U versions being mainly aesthetic, except that the stages on the 3DS would reflect the handheld market, and the Wii-U ones would represent the home console and “classic” markets. I am happy with all of this, but if they don’t include Marth, I will be taking up a pitchfork of my own. You have been warned, Sakurai.

Red Hood and The Outlaws Annual #1 – 4 GPPs

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Green Arrow pays a visit to his old partner Roy and inadvertently makes a bad situation a lot worse. Meanwhile an amnesiac Jason Todd tries to discover more about his past and doesn’t like what he finds which could have major implications for his friends.

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Red Hood and The Outlaws has had an inherent quirky charm to it since its first issue, built around a core trio of friends who don’t mind getting their hands dirty for a good reason. Recent events, though, lead to Jason Todd getting his memory wiped in an attempt to alleviate his feelings associated with his tortured past- only problem was Roy and Kori had to try and convince him they were his friends and remind him of who is.

Green Arrow’s arrival on the secret island where they have been hiding out signals the start of a rather bad turn of events for the trio.

There’s a lot going on in this issue, with Roy and Kori’s relationship and the way that neither of them are capable of actually comunicating properly and flashbacks to Roy’s past showing how much he’s changed as a person making up part of it. Elsewhere Jason is trying figure out who is, whether he believes or trusts Roy and Kori and Green Arrow’s arrival not only dredges up a lot of bad memories for Roy it also results in carnage as the island is now under siege from a cadre of bounty hunters wanting to cash in on the bounty on the trios heads which Green Arrow lead right to their target.

The way that Kori and Roy are both flawed makes them more endearing and Roy’s determination to not let things fall apart whilst at the same time admitting he’s a coward by saying what he wants to say to Kori who is still sleeping, or so he thinks, shows both his genuine feelings for her and his self-loathing coming to the surface.

Things soon descend into a brawl between Green Arrow and Jason after he has a rumble with Roy and assassin Cheshire who apparently trained with Jason which was briefly alluded to last issue.

What really lets this story down though is some truly awful dialogue and the compositions featuring Cheshire.

Having a sexy assassin is not exactly new for comics but Cheshire’s introduction here, standing over a prostrate Kori with her tiny skirt/robes swaying in the blowback from an explosion in the background and revealing her pants is crass and unneccessary.

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This isn’t just a one off either, numerous panels of Cheshire fighting Roy and Jason involve her leaping off or onto things and showing off her pants, I’m surprised they don’t feature a skull to indicate her victims imminent demise since she seems to show them to all her targets.

This is just bad, it’s bad composition, especially that introductory image but it’s the worst kind of cheesy too this isn’t helped by her telling Roy ‘You could be my special man pet’ whilst bending over him.

It’s interesting the contrast between Kori and Cheshire, Kori’s well known for her ‘sexy’ look but kicks ass and is a great character too.

Cheshire actually looks pretty bad ass when done by a different artist, which just makes this worse as this whole sequence could have been done a lot better.

This bad dialogue is contagious too with Roy saying ‘Stop being sexy and fight me dammit!’ as she is jumping around.

Whilst there’s a great ending to this issue which has plenty of potential and there’s plenty of insight into Roy’s background it’s overshadowed by the poor composition choices for the fight involving Cheshire.

In a stark contrast to the last few issues, the art from Al Barrionuevo is bland and features numerous poor compositions besides the problems raised above.

For anyone picking this up to see what Red Hood and The Outlaws is like, it won’t be convincing them they’ve been missing out.