Lad culture has never been bigger; it’s all over TV and littered across social media sites – but how do you determine the ultimate lad? If you eat your own bodyweight in nachos, topped with an entire cow, but do it looking more preened than the entire cast of TOWIE, are you still a lad? What if you come first in a triathlon, only to be greeted at the finishing line by your adoring mum clutching Smudge, your pet pug?
Thankfully, Ladbrokes Casino recognised this problem and surveyed the nation in order to separate the champs from the chumps. Unsurprisingly, crying during a film was deemed by 34% of respondents to be unmanly, with nearly 9% going as far to say a maximum 5 lad points be stripped for such an act! The modern day lad does need to show his emotion and have a softer side however, as a large number of women considered it commendable for men to blubber at a sad film.
To clear up any confusion over this matter, a list of films deemed acceptable to cry at was determined. Unsurprisingly, girly weep-fest classics, Titanic and The Notebook were both on there –we’ve all cried at these films haven’t we lads…lads?!
We were surprised to see Disney classic Bambi on the list –you can’t cry at the part when his mum dies, but then happily order a venison burger at your local pub now can you?! Marley and Me also made an appearance – would you give your best mate a lad point if you found out he broke down in front of his other half watching this Jennifer Aniston chick-flick, or would you send him to the dog house?!
Something that both sexes could both agree on was that male selfies are simply not an option for any self-respecting lad. 23% of men and 22% of women agreed that a man seen clutching his smart phone, top off in front of the mirror, is most definitely not a lad and should have the maximum five points deducted. You have been warned.
So how do you think you would fare as a modern day lad? Can you grow what most would consider an ‘epic beard’ or are you part of the bum-fluff brigade? Are you a force to be reckoned with when faced with a Man Vs Food type challenge, or are you the kind of bloke that wimps out and orders a glass of milk with your korma? Rather than ponder over it, why not man-up and head over to the Ladbrokes Casino quiz to see where you stand in the pecking order. Go on, don’t be frightened…
Amazing. Astonishing. Spectacular. Superior. Sensational. When Spiderman gets titled, it’s never done by halves. So when the cinematic franchise was rebooted following the crash and burn of Spiderman 3, it made a bold step by going with Amazing particularly considering that the first installment, while strong and a definite step up from the previous films, was more “good” than “amazing”. And when it was revealed that the sequel was to feature 3 villains, one of the major mistakes that Spiderman 3 made seemed to be returning to haunt fans from the grave. But oh how wrong we were. So very, very wrong. let’s go to Mr Fantastic to take a look at how you should be feeling right now if you doubted Amazing Spiderman 2 pulling it off.
And oh so humble
You’re god damn right, Reed. You see, the mistake made was assuming that because the previous team behind Spiderman’s cinematic outings royally cocked it up, so would the new bunch. What we forgot was that they’ve got a superb cast and a much, much stronger grasp of what they should be doing with the characters. Also, I’m pretty sure the fact that the director’s surname is Webb means that they have destiny on their side. Regardless of the how, they’ve really nailed it. The problem the previous films had, and don’t get me wrong Spiderman 1 and 2 were pretty darn good, was they focused on the serious side of the character and dialed the moodiness and teen angst up to 11. But that’s not who Spiderman is. Ultimately, Spiderman is a light-hearted character who happens to be put through some serious tragedies. This is the element Webb and his team have decided to hone in on, letting Spiderman’s wit and banter, marvelously delivered by Andrew Garfield, brighten the moments of intense action.
They also happen to know how to suckerpunch you right in the feels. It may not be manly to admit but, straight up, this film had me on the brink several times. I honestly cannot put into words just how incredible the combination of elements is. Any fear of overburdened villains was quickly dispelled as the story is guided along the main paths of Electro as the big bad with Green Goblin swooping in for a relatively short but crucial sequence towards the end. Rhino merely serves as an intro and outro action sequence. And yet each villain is given sufficient space to breathe. I may have liked to see a bit more of the Goblin story but with the upcoming Sinister Six spin off, teased most seductively towards the end of the film (make sure to watch out for what’s in those glass cases at Oscorp), I’m happy knowing that’s likely where we’ll get the real pay off. For this film, the real one to watch is Electro. A character who, while somewhat silly in the comics, has been switched up to a villain of true tragedy. A full breathing sob story brought to life by the magnificent Jamie Foxx.
I don’t want to say too much about it but rest assured, this is no 2 dimensional villain. However, as with the first film, the stars are Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield. Separately, the two deliver superb performances. Together? They are truly awesome. It’s the perfect blend of bittersweet teenage awkwardness and just sheer pleasure that they clearly find in each other’s company which is brought to effervescent life by the fact that they’re just too damn funny in how cute they are. Props to both of them because it’s very easy to turn comic book characters into cartoons but boy do these guys breathe and move and live. There are several moments throughout the film where this is turned to full advantage with emotional tugs but there’s a moment at the very close of the film that, in particular for me at least, really worked at the tear ducts. These moments are of course delivered by the actor’s wonderful performances but if there is one perhaps unsung hero to this film it is the maestro himself, Hans Zimmer. Collaborating with The Magnificent Six, the soundtrack to this film is bloody incredible and, rather than simply being pleasant background music, actually works alongside the film to give a aural kick up the arse to scenes.
Prepare to be amazed. *pun intended*
Not that they require any assistance. I saw the film in 2D. Usually that’s a good choice as most 3D films really don’t capitalise on the technology and just rip you off with the extra ticket cost. Spiderman is not the same. While the 2D looks dang good, I definitely want to see it in the full, eyepopping 3D. The action sequences are *ahem* electrifying and to see some of the stuff the effects crew have created coming out of the screen seems like something well worth investing in. In the previous film, you saw the Spider learning his craft, working out his place. In this film you see a hero. And, as such, the full on action that is delivered is nothing short of awesome. From super slow mo to super fast, each sequence is something you can fully imagine coming straight out of one of the comics.
And, ultimately, maybe that’s why this films works so damn well. Rather than being a cinematic translation, the Amazing Spiderman 2 feels more like a Spiderman comic has just been hit with some kind of film ray. Andrew Garfield’s webhead may be more gangly than geek, more of an awkward outcast than a loser but who ever said Spiderman could never be cool? I absolutely adore what they’ve done with the characters and, while Garfield may be cooler than what you expect for Peter Parker, he still plays the outcast card brilliantly, being just cool enough that you want to be him even more. AS2 asks a lot of its hero. There is of course just one answer though. “With great power comes great responsibility.” The only responsibility I would ask of you, is to go and see this film. There’s a reason the character’s an icon. This may well be some of the best reasoning yet.
Around a year ago, before I became the Geek Pride Tour De Force I am now, I told you all to stop playing minecraft. Well, surprisingly enough, you didn’t listen. And I’m extremely glad you didn’t, as it led to this unbelievable feat:
Behold, Denmark:
There are no words. This is a 1:1 scale model of an ENTIRE COUNTRY on Minecraft. There’s not really anything else to say. Massive props to creators Simon Kokkendorf and Thorbjørn Nielsen. Just… fuck me, well done guys.
For a game that consists of a few dice, a cup to roll and a page of instructions outside the realm of the app, it was difficult to see how SJ Games could improve or detract from Steve Jackson’s Zombie Dice. SJ Games who are known for making The Fnorder and Munchkin Level Counter also on the app store gave this simple, yet addictive game their best shot, and for a free download (with an in-app purchase of 69p to unlock it fully) it didn’t disappoint.
The 3 types of dice, green easy, yellow medium, red hard
It didn’t disappoint for a free to 69p game that is, if this were more expensive then you could look more closely at the rather ominous sounding music, that turns relatively annoying, relatively fast. It reminds this writer of a musician who has just picked up an instrument for the first time, and insists on playing the same cords over and over again in quick succession. Mixed with the obligatory odd muffled groan, presumably from some mindless zombie creature.
The main game screen of the Zombie Dice app
Now I purchased this app with the sole purpose of playing it on my travels (why carry around the dice when you have it on your iPad?). Fancying myself as a bit of a whiz at this game I decided to select the ‘Smarter’ Zombies, now when I envisage ‘Smart’ zombies I naturally don’t go to an Oxford educated zombie with a degree in literature. However I did envisage said zombies to know when not to roll, say consistently upon two shotgun blasts when two of their dice were red (hard) die. But roll they did and sure enough die they did.
Now once again for the money involved, I wasn’t expecting much and it lived up to expectations. This is an app that is a cheap, quick alternative to the physical Zombie Dice game. You don’t have to pay around £8.99 for it, you don’t need to find space for it in your bag and so long as you play with other humans, it does its job well enough.
That being said, there is still no comparison than having the real die in your hand in a room full of friends, making up some of your own rules to make the game last longer.
Note: if your chest actually looks like this, please notify a medical professional
Before I start, I should explain that From Dusk Till Dawn is one of my favourite films. The sequels were broken crap that made no sense, but the first film’s mix of Tarantino attitude, a tense crime caper and sudden grindhouse exploitation horror was absolutely inspired. I can’t tell you how many times I’d seen a film or “serious” genre drama and wished it would suddenly take an unpredictable turn to splat-gore death fests.
As I mentioned in this article when the series was announced – this was an opportunity to really strike out with a fearsome product, flowing with independent talent and ambition. Being a co-creator and director of the original film, as well as lots of highly watchable lunacy like Machete, Spy Kids and Sin City, you might expect Rodriguez to, above all, “get” what made From Dusk Till Dawn so great.
Unfortunately, his efforts this time seem to have entirely missed the target.
Backstory
From Dusk Till Dawn’s world had a lot to offer in the transition from film to TV. Potential backstory includes: What did the Gecko brothers do before the events of the film? What happened to bring them so closely together? How did Richie get Seth out of jail? What happened at the bank job before the film started? What are the origins of the temple? What are the backstories of some of the other travellers to the Titty Twister? What else are the vamps involved in, and who else could the Geckos have pissed off? Why is Richie so messed up? How was Seth arrested in the first place? Were there any other members of their gang, perhaps that want revenge?
And through it all, there could be Tarantino-esque humour, tension and unpredictable tension that American box-sets are great for sustaining. The criminal aspects to the story could’ve been played up for interesting, tense action right from the start. The crime caper arc of the original film could’ve been turned into the Gecko brothers’ criminal careers, full of standoffs and heists; effectively, they could’ve been little standalone heists and backstabbing with little bits of foreshadowing that would culminate by the time the series got to its take on the series canon.
(Not that type of cannon.)
Instead, that angle has been ignored in favour of simply lengthening out individual scenes from the film to 45 minute episodes. Unfortunately, where those scenes work in the film through its compact format, they do not upscale well; newly introduced characters and actions feel lame, tacked on or just stupid (hostage girls beating up Richie? Seriously?) and the foreshadowing… oh boy, I’ll come to that later.
My main issue with the show is the—
Complete Loss of Balls
This series has sacrificed everything that gives the film have soul, heart and actual bite. And if you have issue with those puns, allow me to drink this bottle of whiskey and bust it over your melon-fucking head.
For example:
Horse pussy? I’m in!
The series version of this scene, one of the most well-known parts of the film, didn’t even use the word “pussy” once. Likewise, the series is missing almost all shocking, offensive or gory elements. In principle, this would not make it unsalvageable if the story was told exceptionally well and if the coarse humour was adequately replaced. In practice, however, it’s a now an utterly neutered form of a film whose charm was extensively intertwined with being rude, un-PC and revelling in brutal macho silliness.
It is effectively the old “selling out” argument. Rodriguez or the producers or whoever, saw From Dusk Till Dawn and thought, “this needs to be less offensive to appeal to the widest audience, so let’s get rid of swearing. And anything that might offend anyone else. Let’s also get rid of almost all that sexual predator creepiness that Tarantino embodied too well in the film. Let’s sanitise everything and hopefully there’ll be compelling characters and a rich world to draw upon.”
As a standalone, it may have worked. As From Dusk Till Dawn, it’s a big, fat Cleveland steamer on its own original merits, creativity and innovation.
Dialogue
Look at the following dialogue:
MCGRAW
Jesus Christ man, that microwave food
will kill ya as quick as a bullet.
Those burritos are only fit for a
hippie high on weed. Pull me down a
bottle of Jack Daniels. I’m gettin’
tanked tonight.
PETE
Whatsamatter?
MCGRAW
(sighs)
Awww, it’s just been a shitass day.
Every inch of it hot and miserable.
First off, Nadine at the Blue Chip
got some sorta sick, so that Mongoloid
boy of hers was workin’ the grill.
That fuckin’ idiot don’t know rat shit
from Rice Krispies. I ate breakfast
at nine, was pukin’ up pigs in a
blanket like a sick dog by ten
thirty.
PETE
Isn’t there a law or something
against retards serving food to the
public?
MCGRAW
Well, if there ain’t there sure oughta
be. Who knows what goes on inside
Mongoloid’s mind?
PETE
You could sue the shit out of her, ya
know. That kid belongs under a circus
tent, not flippin’ burgers. You could
own that fuckin’ place.
MCGRAW
What the hell would I do with that
grease pit? Besides, Nadine’s got
enough of a cross to bear just taking
care of that potato head. Then all
this Abilene shit happened. You
heard about that bank robbery in
Abilene, didn’t ya?
To make a writer write well, you’ve got to encourage them properly.
The show has nothing that comes close to that, either in guilty humour, believable interactions or shock value. The dialogue is dreadful, and not in a good way for something playing at being horror; it’s so poor it actually harms the performance of the actors. It sometimes attempts to be Tarantino-esque, but it just comes off as try-hard fanservice talking about Bruce Lee films or whatever. The exposition and character motivation is similarly awful – it is hyper-obvious and uninteresting. Gone is the sudden death of Earl McGraw, replaced with a clichéd drawn out death scene with a simple vengeance request.
Imagine if instead of that, Richie had shot Ranger Gonzalez’s (Jesse Garcia’s) character in the balls after covering him in the brains of his boss. Later on he’s breaking out of hospital with a lucky wound and will have to limp for the rest of the show, but by God does he hate Richard Gecko. And I’m sure on his way he would find some special items that will inevitably come to be very helpful in the climactic arcs. But no. A far safer and less interesting scene that lasts the bulk of an episode.
Not only is the dialogue bad, but it’s missing the phallic bluster of its film equivalent. I want to be offended; throw as much racism, misogyny and four-letter words at me as you like, but for the love of Mictlantecuhtli, make sure you make it interesting.
Richie, could you be offensive for me, pleeeeease?
“Richie, could you help me take my bikini off” is nowhere near as arresting as “Richie, could you eat my pussy for me, pleeeeease?”. If anything, if you want to leave your mark on the project, Rodriguez should’ve gone in the opposite direction and made it more uncomfortable and offensive. These are the things that independent, creator-owned TV should be good for; creative vision and no compromising with the Mary Whitehouses of the world.
The writer should remember that Richie is meant to be a murdering rapist psychotic, possibly even a psychopath. They should ask themselves, “Do these words sound like something a chaotic, murdering psychotic would say? More to the point, do these words hide what this murdering psychotic actually wants, but wants to hide to gain Seth’s approval?”
Of course, if they did that, maybe they’d get stuck and not write at all.
Mythology
The show suffers from obvious, hamfisted foreshadowing. The first episode has Richie see fully-lit snake women making it abundantly obvious that subtlety is not something this series is going to invest in. Satanico Pandemonium then appears to Richie at regular intervals to say the same thing whenever the writer wants a pointless dream sequence to remind the audience this is going somewhere, in case we forgot all the other times or how all the characters are constantly talking about it.
Compare this approach to that of American Horror Story for a moment, the storytelling of the mythic aspects in that show was far more effective. Little bits of the show’s mythology were revealed in shadowy, interesting morsels; they were not flatly thrown up in plain sight, showing that you really can do fantastic drama, black comedy and horror that the audience is already familiar with in a very interesting way.
Monsters, human or naga, should also never be shown in full until late on, this is a simple way to manufacture visual mystery and avoid things looking too fake, especially if you’re on a tight budget.
The Characters and Actors
Hi there, we would like to talk to you about Mexican vampires
As previously mentioned, Richie is not nearly creepy enough; he has been changed from a phenomenally off-putting rapist geek descending into psychosis into some 50s throwback-meets-prophet. And the guy, Zane Holtz, well, he looks like a Calvin Klein model.
Richie, is that you?
Seth is not charismatic enough. He doesn’t have Clooney’s swagger but his whole performance seems to just be emulating Clooney. This isn’t necessarily a bad casting choice, but with the lack of actual bouncing off other characters, his performance is flat.
The brothers themselves are all off. In the film, you got the feeling that Seth had stepped in to lead his little brother in the absence of a father figure. In the series, Seth starts out hiding in a toilet angsting, though the actor doesn’t have the pathos to pull it off. I’m okay with the dynamics being different, however, so long as it reflected evolution over the course of the story. That’s not what’s happened, however; Seth has been relegated to a much weaker position and doesn’t even say offensive things, making you wonder what point does he have at all? He’s not even comic relief anymore.
Robert Patrick is a great actor that’s been abused by this franchise once before, but he’s back again. And his performance is easily the best thing in the whole show. His lines are delivered better than the script deserves and I feel actual conflict and love between him and his kids. It is unfortunate that the kids are boring, but I think this is more down to the script and possibly the direction than them as actors.
The Look
Everyone and everything in this show is too clean and pretty. The motel is supposed to be a dive run by a mean old bastard. The Titty Twister should have broken teeth between floorboards and layers of grime on their glasses. The Titty Twister should’ve had tits, for God’s sake! Instead, it’s like everyone’s moving through brand new plastic show homes, fresh from the perfume ads they all just starred in.
And I’m not fooled by the yellow colour correction.
tl;dr?
Do you remember the “come on in pussy lovers” speech by Cheech Marin? Imagine that but instead it could be shown on daytime TV. Then imagine the whole film is that but with Calvin Klein models and each scene takes 45 minutes.That’s this.
Dr Arden from American Horror Story Asylum, could you sum this up for me?
Living with a mental illness is always hard, but nobody truly suffers so much as Jerry (Ryan Reynolds) – a happy go lucky chap, that happens to be a schizophrenic who hears voices. Two specific voices in fact – that of his benevolent dog, but also his homicidal pet cat. Serving as manifestations of both his good and bad sides, these two animals help to steer Jerry through the dichotomy and duality of self in his every day to day life as he fails to take his prescribed anti-psychotics.
This is especially important following a freak accident, in which Jerry accidentally kills one of his fellow office workers (Gemma Arterton)…and ends up talking to her dismembered head, which he ultimately stores in his fridge. Spurred on to acquire some friends for his new talking head, thus starts a murderous chain of events, which leads us on a fun and exciting adventure through the downright weird.
It’s a film that in every sense of the word, is somewhat ‘fucked up’. It’s weird, and wacky, bonkers and downright brutal, yet unequivocally engaging, witty, and hilarious! I wouldn’t have thought a film could encompass so many things, but it really does transcend genre as we know it. Is it comedy, is it thriller, is it horror? Is it all of the above and then some? It’s a film that doesn’t fit neatly into any one box, and I really wouldn’t have expected anything less from a director as talented and insightful as Marjane Satrapi.
On one hand, there’s this offhanded comedic element to it, especially in the form of the Scottish accented cat that keeps encouraging Jerry to kill, yet there’s also a grittier insight into a tragic backstory for Jerry, that helps to put some of his decisions and experiences into perspective. It’s not so much justifying his behaviour, as it is trying to explain it – and I think that was a really nice touch, because it humanised him and turned him into someone you could relate to. It’s a film that, at the risk of sounding sociopathic, makes you question how you’d react and respond in a similar situation! Although I have to say, storing bits of my kills in tupperware probably wouldn’t be my first reaction.
I do think as a film it fell short in a couple of places, but they’re fleeting scenes and the film as a whole is uniquely entertaining. It’s not what you’d necessarily expect when you go in to see it for the first time, and the fluidity with which it mixes genres is worth watching it for alone. It’s dark and twisty for the most part and while the ending does seem a little rushed and formulaic, it’s still very much a satisfying way to go. Not least because the credits involve a full cast, song and dance number and even include a dancing Jesus, so for the sheer shock factor, I’d recommend it.
You can check out The Voices this weekend at Sundance London; or you can wait with baited breath for an international release date!
It’s a well documented fact that I like quirky films, and after today, I have to say they don’t get much quirkier than Frank, the latest piece of cinematic joy (and I do mean joy, because I absolutely loved it) brought to us by director Lenny Abrahamson.
The movie follows the trials and tribulations of Jon (Domhnall Gleeson) a young musician, who joins an eccentric band led by the enigmatic and charismatic Frank (Michael Fassbender), after whom the film is titled. As a newly recruited member of the band, Jon’s soon whisked off to Ireland to record the band’s album and documents this journey and process online. His escapades earn him a fairly grand following, and soon the band is invited to perform at South by Southwest festival. Things don’t always run smoothly however, and that’s part of the point, but all the way throughout, there’s this real question about the integrity of the music and following Frank’s ideal of playing music for the sentiment it can convey, not just for success.
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Fassbender & Domhnall Gleeson feature in this still of Frank.
It’s not difficult viewing to get through this film, and admittedly I was a bit gutted it had to end at all. I went in primarily because it was a Fassbender film and because Frank Sidebottom is from my neck of the woods! There’s something about that iconic papier-mache head that will always scream Northern pride to me, and even though this incarnation of Frank, isn’t Frank Sidebottom himself, I think a lot of Fassbender’s role stays true to the integrity and spirit behind what Frank represented. (Which is why, I’m willing to discount the American accent, because it honestly didn’t bother me in the slightest.)
Domhnall Gleeson as always did not disappoint, and I think he really did do a wonderful job of encapsulating the frustrations and ambitions of Jon in a way that’s both realistic and entertaining to watch. It wasn’t a rigid set in stone mentality, but a fluid one that I thought connected really well with the audience. Also, that beard. Seriously. I was impressed with that beard (although presumably it was the make-up department’s handiwork…) either way, it gave a lot of scope and humour to the plight of recording for 14 hours a day, for 11 consecutive months!
Which is actually one of the things that I think really made this film work. The humour is so casual and so well orchestrated and delivered, it’s not an in your face kind of wit. Whether it’s Frank’s description of his facial expressions, or the slightly avant-garde personality quirks of him as a person, he’s not just a gag. He’s this wonderfully infectiously positive person, and he radiates charisma, right up until the point he’s struggling himself.
Director: Lenny Abrahamson
I also have to give credit where it’s due to the sublime Maggie Gyllenhaal for her role as Clara, the aggressive and slightly cut-throat bitch-esque sidekick to Frank. For someone that was so outwardly vicious for lack of a better word, I think Gyllenhaal really managed to portray some of Clara’s own longing and attachment to Frank in a way that made me really feel for her. It was almost justifying her behaviour in a way, especially when Jon calls her up on it later, as to why she’s so determined to push everyone else away to keep Frank and the rest of Soronprfbs from performing on a large scale.
The highlight for me though, has got to be the soundtrack. From the weird to the wacky, confusing to catchy, it’s all there. The performances put in by the cast were phenomenal, and I’m admittedly going to go and re-watch it again, purely for the privilege of tangling myself up in the soundtrack to my own personal idea of serenity. I loved this movie, adored it even, but as one of my fellow journalist’s so rightly said, it’s very much a Marmite film. You either love it, or you hate it – which is why I urge you to see at at Sundance London this weekend if you can, or once it opens for general release on May 9th!
Slightly delayed this week, but I’m back again with my third review and recap of Game of Thrones, season four. Firstly, it’s the usual drill, this article will be SPOILER city, so turn back now before it’s too late if you haven’t seen the episode. When discussing a particular scene from the episode I’m also going to make references to the way it differed in the book, but that won’t give away any further details of what is to come. Without further ado, I present you with my review of ‘Breaker of Chains’.
To some, this week’s episode was a little lack lustre following on from the dramatic events of last week’s ‘The Lion and the Rose’, which saw the murder of Joffrey, the wee prick. We see reactions to his death from those in King’s Landing, as well as updates on the journeys of Stannis Baratheon, Sansa, the Night’s Watch, Arya and the Hound, the Wildlings and Daenerys. Despite being overshadowed by last week’s offering, this sort of episode was both expected and necessary following the King’s death.
One would think that this week’s ‘Breaker of Chains’ would focus on Daenerys as she reaches slave city Meereen, but that’s left right until the end. In fact, we pick up exactly where last week left off, with everyone watching on as Joffrey snuffs it. Tyrion is the main suspect in the case, but as he himself comments, the only person in King’s Landing that he would not suspect is Cersei, who is usually rarely innocent when foul play is afoot. Tyrion is to stand trial and it’s easy to see why he is the main suspect, particularly as Joffrey’s final act was to point an accusing finger whilst turning a lovely shade of beetroot. During his final minutes last week I was actually expecting some sort of Violet Beauregarde moment, with him swelling up and floating off with Cersei clinging on for dear life. That would have been amusing, but I digress.
As Sansa makes it to her escape ship, Littlefinger is revealed as her true ‘saviour’, which definitely puts him in line as a suspect in Joffrey’s murder. The Tyrell’s have mixed views on the passing of the King, with Margaery disappointed that she didn’t quite make it to being Westeros’ new queen. Olenna Tyrell comments that the situation is better than it would have been if Margaery was to remain married to Joffrey, which once again points suspicions towards her. Tywin Lannister is another fellow that doesn’t seem too affected by the young King’s death, despite Joffrey being his own Grandson. He tells Tommen, heir to the Iron Throne, that Joffrey was not a good or wise king. He also comments that a wise king listen’s to their closest advisors, could this be an indication of foul play on Tywin’s part? After all, a younger and much less hell spawnish king would be more easily swayed – or manipulated.
Now for Cersei and Jaime and the controversy surrounding their scene together as they are alone with Joffrey’s corpse. This scene has been heavily debated since the episode aired, not only because of the controversial nature, but also because of the way in which it differentiates from the original text. In fact, in the book, Jaime is not present at Joffrey’s death and is feared dead himself by Cersei and upon his return, she has been reunited with the father of her dead son as well as her lover/brother.
Now for the television adaptation, which has been described as a rape scene by many, but that was not necessarily the writers’ and director’s intention. In the book, Jaime eventually forces himself upon Cersei who is resistant to his advances at first, but quickly gives in to animalistic urges. Her comment ‘it’s not right’ is perhaps more related to the incestuous relationship between brother and sister, concerned that someone will catch them, rather than to the sex itself. However, in ‘Breaker of Chains’, it is more difficult to understand whether the this was consensual, or, if in fact, Jaime rapes Cersei next to the corpse of their dead son.
According to the episode director, Alex Graves, the sex is ‘consensual by the end’, an extremely awkward phrase which in itself brings about controversy. He comments that he hopes the audience didn’t miss some parts of the scene that suggest this and that ‘the consensual part of it was that she wraps her legs around him, and she’s holding on to the table, clearly not to escape but to get some grounding in what’s going on’. However, as Cersei says ‘it’s not right’, to which Jaime replies ‘I don’t care’, there is much room for debate.
Rather than continue to debate the matter, I’m going to focus on why we had this scene in the first place and why we see this side of Jaime after so much has been done to show off his more endearing qualities. The outright admittance of Joffrey as Jaime’s son reminds him of his relationship with Cersei, who has been incredibly cold to him since his return to King’s Landing. We’re reminded that Jaime is after all, a Lannister, but one that desperately tries to avoid his fate as a bad guy and usually fails. He did not want to be the Kingslayer, but that’s what he’ll always be remembered as. Well, that or the guy that’s humping his sister and breeding hell spawn. Perhaps this scene with Cersei reminds us of the hold that she has over him and that she will continue to manipulate him. Especially now that she wants him to kill Tyrion for her, rather than him stand trial.
As we follow the Hound and Arya’s journey, we’re also reminded that he’s not exactly a good guy. His captor turned companion relationship with Arya has created a much more likeable character in him, yet his mistreatment of a kindly farmer and his daughter this week has reminded us of his true nature. We also see Wilding, Ygritte, back on form after her break with Jon Snow and failure at killing him, enjoying shooting arrows though people’s faces. Lovely. I’m continually disinterested with Stannis Baratheon and clan, although I do enjoy Ser Davos. The crows aren’t up to much at Castle Black, besides arguing about what to do about the approaching Wildling army, along with the Skagosi, who are busy nomming people.
The closing scene with Daenerys and her army sees her attempting to free another slave city, but I think the entire audience really were just wanting a few minutes more to see that rebellion kick off. However, the entire scene with Dany, Lord Friend Zone and co is one of the highlights of the episode. Her men fight for her affections by offering themselves as a champion against Meereen’s, which ends, quite literally, in a pissing contest. Hopefully next week we pick up right where we left off, with the slaves of Meereen breaking their chains and fighting back.
WizKids have announced the release of their latest Dice building game, Marvel Dice Masters! Using the critically-acclaimed Quarriors ruleset as a basis, MDM will see players building their team of heroes from the Marvel universe, along with special powers before attempting to smash their opponent into the floor!
The merchandise
A new twist for MDM will be the use of booster packs to expand your personal collection opposed to the usual expansions used for WizKids other Dice builders. Players will build their own personal deck of cards and dice before squaring off; it’s a bold decision to follow this route, as random boosters invariably lead to players with more money having an edge on their opponents. That said, if WizKids have done their homework the risk of power creep and certain characters becoming ‘chase cards’ should be kept to a minimum. Also, the current proposed retail will be £12.99 ($14.99) for the starter set, plus £1 ($0.99) for the boosters so it looks like a cheap game to get into.
See any of your favourites?
Tournament support has also been announced, so WizKids are making a clear statement on their promotion of this game. I can only imagine prizes will include free boosters, exclusive characters and of course bragging rights!
So many dice! Who’s who?
To see a quick tutorial on how the game is played, check out the video below. I’m pretty excited by this as I am a big fan of the Quarriors game and the Marvel Universe to boot. With such a big company behind the project, I’m sure this will be a winner!
Let’s face it, zombies are everywhere. From video games (Resident Evil and Dead Island for starters), television (The Walking Dead) and cinema ({insert time of day} of the Dead), Zeds have reached the status of ‘go to’ monster for many writers, along with vampires, werewolves and Christopher Lee. Now I love me some zombies; my last birthday was spent running around an abandoned factory shooting Zed-heads on a Zombie Survival boot camp (if you haven’t done this, do so, I must have geek-gasmed like twelve times that day!)
But with so much media coverage of the shuffling undead hordes, it’s easy to get lost in a sea of mindless drek where the opportunist and the schlock try to cash in. But never fear, Geek Pride is at the rescue! We here at GP HQ love a good book, especially if the theme is ‘undead flesh munchers’. In the interest of public service, we’ve gotten together and chosen our absolute favourites, then condensed them into bite size chunks just the right size for your brain holes. So with out further ado, lets get to the juicy bits!
James Buckingham picks… Marvel Zombies – Written by Robert Kirkman and beautifully illustrated by Sean Phillips, the 2005-2006 Marvel Zombies comics snag it for me. Phillips’ artwork is stellar, and I loved the fact that although the infected Avengers have an underlying desire for devouring human flesh, their base personalities still remain intact.
Plus the alternate dimension thing has always floated my boat…which is why I like DC’s Infinite Crisis so much.
Daniel Delargy picks… World War Z – Written by Max Brooks, this novel is an ‘oral history’ of a war which almost devoured mankind. The book consists of interviews with survivors from across the globe as they give their account of their roles in the war, which allows the reader to create a mental timeline in their head. What strikes me about the format is that it defies the conventional format we are so used to seeing in graphic novel or films. The war is coming to a close, but the interviews take us back into the war to allow us to get a clearer picture of it.
This is much more than just a novel about zombies; it is a commentary on how society as a whole would react to such an incident.
Mike Orvis picks… Zombies! Feast – You are both wrong. Zombies! Feast by IDQW is a realistic, stunning and valuable look at the intricate human drama of prisoners and civilians during the outbreak. The art is stunning and is only comparable to Dead Set in how the characters feel. A mix of Romero’s terror with an air of suspense not available in most Zombie fiction, this rare set of books is well worth a zombiephile’s time.
Tune in next week for more of GP HQs pick of the best in cannibal corpse fiction.
Any of these tickle your zombie interests? Got a favourite of your own? How about a zombie survival plan? We’d love to hear from you!
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